I've been waiting all day to blog, and now I get here, and I'm not sure what to write.
I think I can honestly say that this has been the most relaxed weekend I remember in ages. Nothing to do but organize, unpack, and orient myself with my surroundings...oh, and skim the first 2 anatomy lectures for Monday...but that's another story.
I'm so thankful for the calm before the storm.
Friday night and Saturday morning were spent almost exclusively unpacking and decorating my new digs. I'm pleased with how everything came together...tons of pictures, lots of lamps, random reminders of old memories. I have a reading corner, a coffee station, an elevated bed, a mini-fridge, and even a "portable kitchen" (stacking bins with all my kitchen essentials that can be carried down to the kitchenette whenever I cook). It's a nice little room. Lots of light, nice and quite, spacious yet cozy. I got my grocery shopping done, braved my first trip off campus, and found a few coffee shops but mostly got lost in the "suburbian maze" and felt glad to come back to the calm of campus.
Saturday afternoon, after Matt finished teaching in Batavia, he came over and whisked me off to the city. I had figured out enough about the metra system to get us into Chicago by rail (an adventure to be sure, but not that hard after you've done it once). What fun to ride the 45 mintes, observing the many types of people who move in to the city for Saturday night life. One of my favorite things about such adventures is that you never know what types of people you'll see, what little conversations you'll overhear, and what you can learn about a person's life from the clothes they wear or what they carry. Since public transport in the city makes so much sense and is so inexpensive, you see people who are homeless sitting quite near those who obviously live comfortably in a rich suburb. I heard 4-5 different languages in one trip, and saw ages across a lifetime. Its a fascinating blend.
Chicago was our destination primarily for the Chicago Blues Fest, recommended to us by my PA program director along with the command, "DON'T spend your last free weekend on campus worrying about anatomy!!!".
We were happy to comply.
We took the metra to union station, asked for directions from a conductor and followed them...they were totally wrong. After boarding the wrong bus, the driver kindly dropped us at the spot on his route that was closest to our destination and we walked the rest of the way in. The festival spans 4-5 blocks between Michigan Avenue and Lake Shore Drive, overlapping with Grant Park primarily. 5 major stages are interspersed with fair food, music and guitar stores set up under tents, and street musicians with a single amp and a guitar singing away. The mood was reminicent of the Decatur Celebration in places, but with a wider breadth of people overall, and, for the most part, an incredibly high level of talent. Brass jazz bands, bluegrass rhythm bands, and slow, sweet new orleans style blues competed for sound space all afternoon. After an hour or so of listening, we headed down michigan avenue and had a nice dinner at an outdoor cafe. Good conversation and wonderful food under the serenade of a street singer whose can got just a little more full as we walked away. Back at the fest, we walked in and out of several shows, but stood for over an hour to hear the night show of Bettye Levette. I'd never heard of her before last night, but she's the older black woman who sang with Jon Bon Jovi at O'bama's Inauguration. She's 63 and put out her first album in 1969...and apparently both then and now she's a pretty big deal. Not only did she sing a good amount of "self history" but she touched on lots of classics from every imaginable blues genre. People were dancing, clapping, laughing...it didn't matter...no one could stand still. I love the ambiguity that comes with a large crowd under a darkening sky. No one cares what's going on so long as they can still hear the music. We all reveled in a shared experience that promoted unusual individuality with no shame. :) What an incredible show.
After a late night, this morning's adventure was to do the first church visit in the area...something Matt and I have been pretty excited about for a while. We did all the research, found directions and times, etc, and got there just in time for the service this morning. Unfortunately, the service wasn't there... apparently Wheaton Bible Church has moved...and to no where in the near vicinity, I assure you. We drove around for quite some time looking for it, and after doing so realized we had missed all the other services for the 8,000 or so other churches in Wheaton. Oops. But, we enjoyed lunch and a little church service of our own, which turned out fine. To be continued next week.
This afternoon, in an effort to start being more active, we headed to Midwestern's Wellness Center. It was completely empty, save a nice security guard and one lonely basketball player. Matt and I had decided that learning to play racket ball would be fun and new...and after calling Mom for her 20 year old recollections on how to play, we started right in. I will say that we definitely need some work...but even when you can't hit the ball anywhere NEAR where it's supposed to be going, playing a life sized version of "anything goes" ping pong is a LOT of fun...and a lot of work. We got good and sweaty, then came back to my room to google the real game instructions. Certainly we were not doing things correctly, but with our lack of accuracy it probably didn't matter. Better luck next week we hope. :) In the meantime, I've decided that very few actions are more satisfying that whacking a racket ball like crazy and watching it bounce off 6 different surfaces. I'm thinking I'll keep this in my stress relief arsenal for future days of "storm".
Tonight capped off the weekend perfectly. Before Matt headed home, I made dinner (Taco salads and Blue Corn Chips) and then we headed to downtown Downers Grove. Unlike the busy, sprawling, concrete mess that I had understood were "the suburbs", we found a small-town feeling city center with lots of trees, older buildings, and a coffee shop where the barista knew the name of everyone who walked in (except us, of course). We got coffee, and began to stroll up and down the many streets...walking past endless adorable boutiques, fun local restaurants, pizza parlors, old style barber shops, art supply stores, galleries, dance studios, and etc. There was an 1800's cemetary, where many of the first townsfolk are buried, a beautiful square complete with an old theater and a old-style diner, and the train station, with a beautiful old clock. Couples kept riding their bikes into the square and parking them in front of the sundae shop. Families with young kids were playing by the fountain and in the park. Teenagers were walking in from nearby residences to hang out at the coffee shops. I take back everything I've ever said about the suburbs being cookie cutter, collossal, materialistic, and boring. I guess I just had never seen anything but the "mall and metropolis" side of them. The Caribou on the corner will be a perfect study spot (just the right amount of noise...good music....$1 coffee on mondays), the small amphitheater in the city park has live music every saturday night (as does the Irish style pub), and the "Cellar Door" has both expensive and inexpensive wines and a beautiful outdoor patio to enjoy them on. This Matt and I did as we counted our many blessings and enjoyed the beatiful evening.
I feel aclimated, relaxed, and increasingly comfortable in this atmosphere. And though I'm intensely aware that tomorrow's start to classes will quickly blow this feeling out of the water, the breath I got to take before jumping off the cliff was lovely and deep enough to last me for a while. What a blessing!!
Tonight my friend Erin called to ask if I wanted to walk to class with her in the morning. Its clear I'm not the only one who's a bit apprehensive. But then again, we've got each other...and we're all about to be in the same storm-chased boat.
Please be in prayer for me tomorrow especially in the afternoon...I'm headed for Anatomy lab, and quite frankly I'm intimidated beyond belief.
Signing off as the relaxed me...and anticipating all that lies ahead...
Morgs
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
You know "you've arrived" when...
After an inexcusable absence I return today because I hope that someone I know will stumble across this and enjoy the read. I'm a journaler at heart, and if I had the time I think I'd probably do this or a paper version every day. But I don't, and so I get behind.
Nevertheless, when I come to points in my life when significance or just the sheer weight of processable occurances surface, I feel compelled here out of some sort of obligation. Today is one of those days.
I'm officially here. I've been waiting for this week for about 6 years, and today I'm on the cusp of my PA education. Orientation is behind me, I have a dorm room for the first time in my life, I live in the suburbs, and I'm starting classes on Monday. So much has happened in the last 72 hours that I can't imagine getting all the details, but I'll bullet point the events that make me sure that I have, indeed, arrived, along with a few things that have occurred that I never expected.
~ I'm scared
The first 2 days I was on campus were filled with orientation...an event that I thought would be low key and boring. In fact, it was boring and completely overwhelming. We received no less than 50 sheets of paper each detailing rules, regulations, policies, "to do's", and etc, and with each new lecturer came another set of details to check, another warning about how much study strategies from undergrad simply wouldn't work. Each lecture should be read 3-4 times. Flashcards won't work. Note copying is a waste of time. Plan on at least 4 extra hours in the lab (on top of 6 that are scheduled weeky) if you want to pass the first practical. Our list of exams is extremely long, with many weeks in July and August hosting 3 tests a week.
~ I'm inspired
Probably the best part of orientation was getting to hear our faculty for the PA program talk about themselves, the program, and the next year. Each one, from the program director to the secretary, got to stand up and give us some words of advise after telling us something about themselves. My impression of the faculty is that they are amazing. Each told some great personal stories that had us laughing, and all seem to have a lively yet professional relationship with fellow teachers. They expressed to us how much they LOVED to practice medicines, some of the reasons that they are still excited about it, and some of the reasons they were driven to teach. In addition, they shared what their own clinical practices look like. While most only work part time now, they all have some incredibly inspirational practices. Our medical director has two kids, is a deacon in the catholic church, works 3/4 time at Midwestern, and still manages to work at least 1/2 time at the Cook County jail (the largest single-site jail in the country) alongside his wife. The program director volunteers at a cardiac pediatric clinic in the city on her "off" weekends. My adviser is an MD from India, who volunteers in an underserved medical clinic on the south side of Chicago. Another of our facutly is a PhD and MD who has worked at a city clinic for 25 years. It is almost 60% latino, and while he knows plenty of vocabulary to get through the day, this 55+ year old grandfather has decided that this summer he will become fluent in Spanish (he asked all of us to "hold his feet to the fire"). This man also leads the underserved populations club on the campus. One of our other full time professors has worked at an exclusively latino speaking clinic in downtown Chicago and is very involved in the medical spanish club and classes here. I'm telling you, sitting there in those seats that afternoon I felt like you needed a rope to keep me from floating away. I'm so thrilled not only to be so affirmed and encouraged by these people, but to be under their influence over the next three years. I'm so hoping that I can be like these people when i get older: involved in service, always doing and pursuing new things, investing in the next generation. At this point, I'm far more excited about this influence than i am about the classes.
~ I'm very certain
I've been praying about this decision for the last 2 years, and as it approached it seemed like the tangle of possibilities would never unravel into a clear path. But they did, and I recieved answers just at the right moment, with no more or less clarity than I needed. Walking in to orient that first morning, I felt a little bit like I was challenging God. "This is where I'm supposed to be?? Hope you can prove it." He did. I'm absolutely serious when I tell you that within 4 minutes of walking through the front door I got drawn into a conversation with 4 girls I'd never seen before. We walked in and sat down together durning the first lecture, and for the rest of the day we were a bit inseparable. By lunch time, one of the girls had affectionately dubbed us "The Posse" and we were acting like we'd known each other for weeks. Erin, Emily, Ally, and Danielle have been a blessing to me as I adjusted to the campus. In addition to this great blessing, I found that most of the people I met were obviously intellegent, but incredibly approachable, open, and friendly. True, it's orientation week, so everyone is going to be kind, but there is nothing like walking into a room and feeling accepted, even sought out immediately by people who are anything but competative and intellectually aloof. The final faucet to the "social affirmations" of the week was last night at the "Big/little picnic". Everyone was invited to come and eat and then find their mentor from the class above them. For some reason, my mentor didn't show up, so I ended up sitting with Erin, her new husband, and a random assortment of others. After small talk about studies and etc, one of the mentors asked if there was anything else we wanted to know. Erin's husband, Brian, piped up and mentioned that the two of them would be looking for a church. Suddenly, everyone at my table was offering advise on churches they went to, where they were, whether they were sound in teaching, and etc. I met two more Christian students, one of whom went to Taylor and knows several of my friends! This was such an incredibly affirming experience, and so exciting to consider those who can keep me on track and encouraged over the next year of "marathon". Praise the Lord!
I've been clinging to Isaiah 30:21 the past few weeks, and it has proved to me over and over again that God really does care about each little element of our lives.
"Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind them saying, 'This is the way, walk in it'"
As much fun and affirmation as I've had in the past 3 days, there are a few things that I didn't expect that have been interesting and/or comical to manage:
1) it IS possible too over pack for moving in to your dorm, even when it's a 180 sq foot single.
2) timing doesn't always work well. We get $$ for tuition from our loans on Monday, but the disembursment for food, books, supplies, and other essentials doesn't get dished out until 10 days from now. Also, our ID badges don't come in till Tuesday, but every building on campus is locked and you can't eat meals without them. hmmm....the weekend could be fun.
3) Rolls of toilet paper go a LOT slower when there is one girl in the "house" rather than 6.
4) An extra 6 inches underneath an adjustable bed can make a world of difference.
5) Dorms don't come with shower curtains.
6) I absolutely couldn't have survived the move in without my parents manual and financial assistance. Independant is definitely a false term.
7) I have a rediculous abundance of post it notes. Seriously. I don't know where they all came from. Like, I probably have 30 extra pads besides the ones on my desk. Hehhe.
8) The little 3m nail-free hooks are probably the most precious un-tapped resource in the world. Blessings on whoever invented them. :)
Well, I'm off to keep unpacking and hopefully finish decorating the room! Thanks for reading.
Nevertheless, when I come to points in my life when significance or just the sheer weight of processable occurances surface, I feel compelled here out of some sort of obligation. Today is one of those days.
I'm officially here. I've been waiting for this week for about 6 years, and today I'm on the cusp of my PA education. Orientation is behind me, I have a dorm room for the first time in my life, I live in the suburbs, and I'm starting classes on Monday. So much has happened in the last 72 hours that I can't imagine getting all the details, but I'll bullet point the events that make me sure that I have, indeed, arrived, along with a few things that have occurred that I never expected.
~ I'm scared
The first 2 days I was on campus were filled with orientation...an event that I thought would be low key and boring. In fact, it was boring and completely overwhelming. We received no less than 50 sheets of paper each detailing rules, regulations, policies, "to do's", and etc, and with each new lecturer came another set of details to check, another warning about how much study strategies from undergrad simply wouldn't work. Each lecture should be read 3-4 times. Flashcards won't work. Note copying is a waste of time. Plan on at least 4 extra hours in the lab (on top of 6 that are scheduled weeky) if you want to pass the first practical. Our list of exams is extremely long, with many weeks in July and August hosting 3 tests a week.
~ I'm inspired
Probably the best part of orientation was getting to hear our faculty for the PA program talk about themselves, the program, and the next year. Each one, from the program director to the secretary, got to stand up and give us some words of advise after telling us something about themselves. My impression of the faculty is that they are amazing. Each told some great personal stories that had us laughing, and all seem to have a lively yet professional relationship with fellow teachers. They expressed to us how much they LOVED to practice medicines, some of the reasons that they are still excited about it, and some of the reasons they were driven to teach. In addition, they shared what their own clinical practices look like. While most only work part time now, they all have some incredibly inspirational practices. Our medical director has two kids, is a deacon in the catholic church, works 3/4 time at Midwestern, and still manages to work at least 1/2 time at the Cook County jail (the largest single-site jail in the country) alongside his wife. The program director volunteers at a cardiac pediatric clinic in the city on her "off" weekends. My adviser is an MD from India, who volunteers in an underserved medical clinic on the south side of Chicago. Another of our facutly is a PhD and MD who has worked at a city clinic for 25 years. It is almost 60% latino, and while he knows plenty of vocabulary to get through the day, this 55+ year old grandfather has decided that this summer he will become fluent in Spanish (he asked all of us to "hold his feet to the fire"). This man also leads the underserved populations club on the campus. One of our other full time professors has worked at an exclusively latino speaking clinic in downtown Chicago and is very involved in the medical spanish club and classes here. I'm telling you, sitting there in those seats that afternoon I felt like you needed a rope to keep me from floating away. I'm so thrilled not only to be so affirmed and encouraged by these people, but to be under their influence over the next three years. I'm so hoping that I can be like these people when i get older: involved in service, always doing and pursuing new things, investing in the next generation. At this point, I'm far more excited about this influence than i am about the classes.
~ I'm very certain
I've been praying about this decision for the last 2 years, and as it approached it seemed like the tangle of possibilities would never unravel into a clear path. But they did, and I recieved answers just at the right moment, with no more or less clarity than I needed. Walking in to orient that first morning, I felt a little bit like I was challenging God. "This is where I'm supposed to be?? Hope you can prove it." He did. I'm absolutely serious when I tell you that within 4 minutes of walking through the front door I got drawn into a conversation with 4 girls I'd never seen before. We walked in and sat down together durning the first lecture, and for the rest of the day we were a bit inseparable. By lunch time, one of the girls had affectionately dubbed us "The Posse" and we were acting like we'd known each other for weeks. Erin, Emily, Ally, and Danielle have been a blessing to me as I adjusted to the campus. In addition to this great blessing, I found that most of the people I met were obviously intellegent, but incredibly approachable, open, and friendly. True, it's orientation week, so everyone is going to be kind, but there is nothing like walking into a room and feeling accepted, even sought out immediately by people who are anything but competative and intellectually aloof. The final faucet to the "social affirmations" of the week was last night at the "Big/little picnic". Everyone was invited to come and eat and then find their mentor from the class above them. For some reason, my mentor didn't show up, so I ended up sitting with Erin, her new husband, and a random assortment of others. After small talk about studies and etc, one of the mentors asked if there was anything else we wanted to know. Erin's husband, Brian, piped up and mentioned that the two of them would be looking for a church. Suddenly, everyone at my table was offering advise on churches they went to, where they were, whether they were sound in teaching, and etc. I met two more Christian students, one of whom went to Taylor and knows several of my friends! This was such an incredibly affirming experience, and so exciting to consider those who can keep me on track and encouraged over the next year of "marathon". Praise the Lord!
I've been clinging to Isaiah 30:21 the past few weeks, and it has proved to me over and over again that God really does care about each little element of our lives.
"Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind them saying, 'This is the way, walk in it'"
As much fun and affirmation as I've had in the past 3 days, there are a few things that I didn't expect that have been interesting and/or comical to manage:
1) it IS possible too over pack for moving in to your dorm, even when it's a 180 sq foot single.
2) timing doesn't always work well. We get $$ for tuition from our loans on Monday, but the disembursment for food, books, supplies, and other essentials doesn't get dished out until 10 days from now. Also, our ID badges don't come in till Tuesday, but every building on campus is locked and you can't eat meals without them. hmmm....the weekend could be fun.
3) Rolls of toilet paper go a LOT slower when there is one girl in the "house" rather than 6.
4) An extra 6 inches underneath an adjustable bed can make a world of difference.
5) Dorms don't come with shower curtains.
6) I absolutely couldn't have survived the move in without my parents manual and financial assistance. Independant is definitely a false term.
7) I have a rediculous abundance of post it notes. Seriously. I don't know where they all came from. Like, I probably have 30 extra pads besides the ones on my desk. Hehhe.
8) The little 3m nail-free hooks are probably the most precious un-tapped resource in the world. Blessings on whoever invented them. :)
Well, I'm off to keep unpacking and hopefully finish decorating the room! Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
coasting
A brief 45 minute break between classes finds me printing off sheets of work "to be done" and not wanting to do any of it. I'm exhausted.
It's a wonderful rainy day...distant thunder and steady but gentle showers have given the day a lazy feel...but its humid and temperatures are deliciously mild in comparison with the bitter cold of the last 3 weeks. Winter returns this weekend, says the weather man, but today I'm wearing flip-flops, and only mildly chilled from the soakings I receive between classes.
Still struggling to get into the groove of the semester. Some would say I'm merely coasting to the finish...and if you look at my class schedule alone that might be true. 12 credits, 2 of which are "fillers" only 1 big bio class and then physics 2. But I'm certainly filling time in other ways...and the energy that I'm giving to the things outside of college seem to be throwing off my abilities to focus and efficiently tackle my school work. It has already been an up and down semester, emotional, intense, exciting, fearful, confused. This type of coasting isn't so much about ease as it is about a lack of control. For those of you who know me well, this is the real reason I hate roller coasters. You never know what the next turn will do to your insides, and you find yourself focusing on something that's relatively unimportant when compared to the thing around the next turn.
It's a wonderful rainy day...distant thunder and steady but gentle showers have given the day a lazy feel...but its humid and temperatures are deliciously mild in comparison with the bitter cold of the last 3 weeks. Winter returns this weekend, says the weather man, but today I'm wearing flip-flops, and only mildly chilled from the soakings I receive between classes.
Still struggling to get into the groove of the semester. Some would say I'm merely coasting to the finish...and if you look at my class schedule alone that might be true. 12 credits, 2 of which are "fillers" only 1 big bio class and then physics 2. But I'm certainly filling time in other ways...and the energy that I'm giving to the things outside of college seem to be throwing off my abilities to focus and efficiently tackle my school work. It has already been an up and down semester, emotional, intense, exciting, fearful, confused. This type of coasting isn't so much about ease as it is about a lack of control. For those of you who know me well, this is the real reason I hate roller coasters. You never know what the next turn will do to your insides, and you find yourself focusing on something that's relatively unimportant when compared to the thing around the next turn.
So while life has brought grace and gifts in spades over the past 2 weeks, it has also brought struggle and unforseen challenge. I find myself drained and filled sometimes multiple times in the day. Surely God plans these ebbs and flows to remind me of my frailty along with my blessings.
(Random insert, while google searching for a picture to put on this post, I came across another blog about roller coasters...I like his phrasology:
"Life is so full of ups and downs. It’s like a rollercoaster, but where you have to eat and go to the bathroom, then die eventually. Not that those things never happen on rollercoasters."
Ok...back to the real post now)
Probably the most filling portion of my semester thus far has been the bible study on Romans that I've been leading at the house on Tuesday nights. With 10-15 bodies gathering per meeting, it's a bit too big to be coined a "small group", but I'm so grateful for the group of people, almost all of whom have had some large impact on my life over the last 3 years. I'm reminded as I was a few summers ago that in so many ways, the greatest learning comes when you try to teach. Nothing could be further from my area of expertise than the essays of Romans...yet in many ways the explanations that Paul affords to the early church are merely foundational reminders...clarifications on the "heart" of the matter, which have been overlooked under the shadow of the law and the chosen people. The bible study was started because the IV leadership (myself included) from last semester felt strongly that the upperclassmen in our group were being asked to lead rather than to study and be fed far too often. And while leadership requires faith and dependence, it's so easy to lose sight of the foundation...the anchor from which all pursuits of the spirit must rely. And so, we've come together...the most diverse group of friends I see in the same room all week long. Some are strangers to each other, some are fast friends, all are intensely dedicated to seeking out truth...hungry...begging for something besides pat answers and glossed over "Christianese". They seek out tension points, dig for truth, muddy the water, ask the real questions. It has fed me so much, first to prepare these passages and then to guide or be guided through discussions on them. Last night we had an incredibly academic discussion on Romans 3, seeking to define words we've known since we were 5: Grace. Justice. Atonement. Forbearance. Can we understand the way that the Jews began to believe that God was either merciful or just at His whim? Can we explain why his love and his nature required both? Do we appreciate the beauty of justice, which at its best results in condemnation and grace in tandem? And suddenly the sacrifice of Jesus, so perfectly atoning for the sins of all, becomes what allows God to manifest His wrath and His love in one action. Jesus allowed God to demonstrate His justice (which had always been there) in order that He would be once again be recognized by the people of the world as just, and completely holy. As such, he could also declare us not just forgiven, but justified...righteous...in total harmony with God himself. Never has the love of the Father been more real to me. If you want a good head spinning, read Romans 3: 25-28.
A major drain on the past 3 weeks has been trying to sort out the grad school issues. As of this moment I'm down to 3 schools...something I view with relief and some elements of hesitation. I'm glad that the field is finally starting to narrow, but at the same time the decision is quickly becoming real. All the traveling will come to an end this weekend, when I make my presence known at Saint Louis University. I'm expecting a great program and hoping, as always, to "wow" them. More than anything I'm praying for clarity. This weekend, I turned down Marietta University (in southeastern Ohio)...and heard from UW-Madison that unless someone drops out for personal reasons or dies I won't be going there...they have filled their class, at least for now. This leaves me with my acceptance at SIU-C, and a waiting game at Midwestern (no word yet), and SLU. I'm praying to have some sort of "final answer" by early March. As taxing as the travel, worry, and desision making can be, I'm really starting to get excited about school, about my first move "away", and about my intense year coming soon. :)
A relatively "little thing" but something that has been fun and encouraging is the Pilates class that I'm taking at the DISC 2 evenings a week. This is something that I've never done before, and something that I'm farely bad at...but it's been a great release of energy that keeps me gaining at least miniscule amounts of muscle tone and a few new friendships. The class itself is hysterical. Our teacher is a 50ish year old woman who is in shape but not a body builder by any means. She's encouraging, fun, and honest about the poses and lifts that even she can't do. Then there is the group of 6-7 women and one man in the 60+ group. They've been doing classes together for years and are constantly chatting in the left corner of the room. A few middle aged loners also wander in each night...most of whom are significantly obese but are definitely trying hard to make a change. Closer to the middle of the room are the cheerleaders and dancers. I'm not sure why they come, because most of them could do the routines that we try to do for 5 or 6 times the required length. Their thighs and abs of steel combined with rediculous flexiblity makes a workout that causes me to sweat simply a warm up for them. On the right side of the room is what I like to call the "awkward crowd". There are 2-3 twenty-something aged women and one flamboyantly gay sophmore guy. Behind them is me, and in front of them is zen woman. Zen woman is slender and short, with a long silver braid down her back and a rich slovic accent. She's soft spoken and strong, and could balance on one toenail with a leg behind her head while eating a grapefruit. Every time I see her accomplish some rediculous pose with rediculous ease I hear Brian Regan in my ear... "Place both feet in the small of your back, and BREATHE!!". The class has been challenging but a great stress reliever too...and with all the different characters in the room, something is bound to happen that is worth a good laugh.
This past weekend I spent Friday and Saturday at the Decatur Conference Center along with about 200 Intervarsity students and staff from 13 different schools around Illinois and Missouri. "Metamorphosis" is a multi-tracked conference that allows a lot of time for personal growth and reflection, but also some good time for bonding within the Millikin chapter. 15 of us went and we had a great time. I especially got to know 3 of the freshman girls that I roomed with. They were darling and kept me on my toes (and without much sleep) throught the weekend. It's a blessing to see what a wonderful class of freshman we have...some diamond in the rough leaders are ready to be polished and affirmed. God has been good to show us the capable instruments who will be doing his work long after we leave this campus. I was a part of the "After College" track, along with 4 other seniors from Millikin. Our sessions discussed everything from how to hear God when making life decisions to how to manage money and budgets, how to get involved in a local church, and how to build relationships outside of the college network. I can't synthesize all the many things that I learned right here...but I will say that one of my most meaningful moments came while we were scanning Mark 1. Jesus walks by the lake and he calls out to the sons of Zebedee, who are fishermen and mending their nets. "Come, Follow me...and I will make you fishers of men." I had been calling out for clarity all weekend about the school decisions I made Monday morning...and in that moment the Lord spoke so clearly.
This isn't about what you decide. It's not about the long term plan. It's not even about you staying "awake" so you don't miss the exit ramp. Look around you...I'm teaching you something RIGHT NOW that you'll need later. Your future depends on what you've been given to steward today...don't miss it because you're worried about tomorrow. Come, follow me. Put your feet in my footprints and don't look back. I've got a new world you've never imagined waiting for you. And even though you don't know it, I've already prepared you for what lies ahead.
How silly I am to imagine that the now of God's plan has nothing to do with the later. And what a relief to remember that God really does have control. So long as my ears are open and my heart is right with Him, I can't mess this up. Do I believe He has control? Then I believe that His power is greater than my insufficiencies. That His spirit is stronger than my sinful will. That my heart's desires are an outcropping of His purpose for my life.
I still have no clue where I'm going...but I suppose that's just the point.
Another up and down pair for this semester has been the dating coaster. 2 breakups in my periphery and one in plain view over the past week have highlighted that it is "the time" to define relationships on a level far past compatablility. While the extra ice cream and girl time that breakups create is wonderfully communal and almost fun, there's an element of all of us asking "how much more is this going to happen?" The proverbial clock seems to be ticking faster, and as everyone makes plans to move on or settle down, the next natural step is to decide to go "all in" or "fold". 2 weddings for close friends in the next 6 months remind me that many are taking the plunge and totally ready for it. But the pressure cooker isn't seeming to get any cooler. As each new ring emerges the heat seems to rise steadily.
I keep reminding myself amidst the drama, heartache, and excitement that comes from all relationships that the image of a timetable is an illusion in truth. No social standard or norm should dictate a decision if the time isn't right. And yet, it's natural to begin making decisions in tandem...and with grad school finalization right around the corner, it's hard not to lump Matt, career, school, roomate, and future home all in one decision. I've hit my fair share of questions on all of the above in the last month especially, and have come to the realization that to try to make all of these determinations at once is to try to take control of all aspects of life at the same point. Not only is it impossible, its unhealthy...and I'm gradually learning to focus on one at a time. That said, I'm certainly keeping my eyes open and listening to my heart as often as possible.
Through it all, the ups and the downs, the changes and the constants, the questions and the answers that turn into questions, this I know for sure: God is faithful today, tomorrow, and forever. As He gives and takes away, I make it my goal to praise his name forever...exclusively...in every circumstance.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
on seniority, the southwest, musical spirituality, and starting over...
greetings.
all in all I'm not really a new year's resolution type of girl. Sure, I've done it from time to time...but I, like most Americans, rarely follow through because the change is scripted and duty bound. But every once in a while, when I have a few extra seconds around me to breathe and take in the scenery, I become aware of a change that I really WANT to make...something that I know will make me tick but that is not a part of my life for some reason or the other. It sounds silly, but blogging is one of those things. Over Christmas break I started realizing that the past semester has been the least introspective for me in quite a while. And I don't like it.
I used to blog, journal, or write letters to myself on a nearly daily basis...and it fed my soul in many ways....but somehow, this past semester I have slipped out of it. I'm an external processor for the most part, I think. Much of my best talking and thinking gets done in conversation, either with others or with a blank page. And while introspection as an entity is often viewed as something done in quiet and in private, I find that while journaling or praying helps illuminate certain aspects of my soul, other parts of my being are best illuminated by a more public introspection. I was telling mom the other day that some of the friends I'm closest to, the ones I open my heart to and spill out my thoughts, feelings, and understandings to, are valuable not just because we share so much but because they cause me to say aloud the things I hold true within myself. Without these closest of aquaintances, who love me for who I am no matter what, I migth never be able to see the schemas and frameworks that I hold true...and, as a result, I might never understand the ways that my actions are governed by these beliefs. I pray that I'll never reach a point where my actions and attitudes are not occasionally reconsidered under the light of scripture, introspection, and the voicing of these thoughts and feelings to those around me whom I trust and love. All this leads me to an invitation, which I suppose I always assumed but have never stated about this site. Cross me if you must, think with me if something I say catches you wrong. I believe that one of the great mysteries of the body of Christ is the way that we must be open and vulnerable before each other in order to grow most quickly towards Christ. If we are not open to each other, not willing to be inspected, crossed, changed in our intereactions, than we may never reap the fullness of the relationships that God places in our path. You may be only my distant accquaintance...and yet, I believe that my greatest failure would be to keep myself closed either from lazyness or fear.
Therefore, i'm resolved to start over...not necessarily because it's the new year but because I've been a bit convicted that I've allowed a piece of myself to get apathetic towards its growth. I write here, and in my journal because I know I must keep an occasional eye on the trend of my thought patterns and actions...and I speak to those of you who I love and trust because I know I need you to occasionally check me. And, straying from the deep and intentional reasons for dialoging with no one in particular, I write here so that some day I can look back and see what God brought me through. May his name always be glorified through my rants, records, and revalations.
Tomorrow marks the first day of my last semester of college. Yes, "spring 09" is upon us...that small little combo that I've been putting on forms and sign ups for years. I've picked out my last class schedule, done a degree audit, and I'm currently living in the last house I'll ever live in during my undergraduate years. I moved out of my parents house yesterday and after unpacking I realized it is very likely the last time that i will live there. In June, Lord willing, I'm off to grad school...and the chances of my moving back are slim to none. It never ceases to amaze me how the big things always sneak up on me while I'm paying attention to details. 2 days ago I returned from choir tour, where my seniority was emphasized at every turn. I'm a section leader, the tour mom, and the go-to-girl for my dad and the choir alike. It was a wonderful trip to the southwest, and one that reminded me of all of the wonderful things that I've been given through this group over the years. My salvation experience was literally a result of sitting in Dad's concert, and physically feeling for the first time, God tugging on my heart. Then there was the year that my Christmas gift was a little suitcase and I got to go with dad all by myself on tour as a 10 year old. Getting to sit in the dressing room with the girls before all the concerts, letting them do my makeup, and seeing their excitement as they finally walked on stage made my days full somehow. And dreaming about someday being one of them was something that occupied a great deal of my time. In the last 3 years, being in the choir has changed the way that I see life, beauty, and the purpose of my future. It's changed the way I view people, my understanding of the value of giving of your soul, and my ideas about art and truth. It's brought me closer to dad, closer to my christian friends in the group, closer to people who think totally opposite of me and who I would never have gotten to know. I'm so thankful for this body, and so heartbroken that starting tomorrow I won't be able to go to reahearsals any more. Physics 2 somehow takes precedent over finishing out the semester with the people and the activity that have been balm to my soul so many times. I'm a bit afraid about returning on tour this weekend for my last 3 concerts. There is no question that I will be a total mess. :)
And yet, in the midst of all the feelings of seniority, it has been a blessing to also experience some very distinct "newness" over the past 2-3 weeks. My relationship with TJ has reached a very different level in recent weeks, as he has entered high school I find myself looking back to see a young man more and more. And he has grown, too, in his willingness to share about his life and ask with real intuition about mine. I'm hoping that this last semester at home will be a great bonding one for us...the one that we look back on when we both have kids as the foundation for our adult relationships. Adult. That huge scary word that simply isn't far off anymore. Time to start paying attention to what will define it. Tour had some "new" as well. We went to the southwest and sang for about 25 members of dad's family in Albuquerque, many of whom had not ever heard the choir before. We sang for my grandpa, who may not see many more concerts. Dad and I got the chance to show the choir a part of the country that many had never seen...the strong mountains, beautiful mesas, and unique pueblos. Such a vibrant and diverse group of people, with a flavor in the food and the culture that is unmatched anywhere that I've ever been. And the tour was littered with more than the usual number of new friends. Three in particular became fast friends...people I've known for a while but never really deeply interacted with. And suddenly, under the sunset of my college carreer, it became clear that they still had a profound impact to make on me. Lengthy conversations, incredible caring, and a sometimes inexplicable compatability made me realize how much I still have to learn from those around me...and how even though I feel like a big fish in a small pond at the moment, I haven't learned everything I need to just yet.
One of the most interesting conversations that I got into while on tour was about the emotional and spiritual overtones that often come with great musical experiences. One of my friends was talking about our closing song, a simple prayer which has come to mean the world to me. It is strangely worded, but about as raw in confession as anything I've ever sung. Many of the kids had expressed that this was their favorite song of all...and several of us have felt the incredible emotion that stems from the beautiful poetry, and the understated but heartwrenching cadences. My friend noted that he really hadn't "given in" to this song yet...hadn't really been able to fully engage his emotions and just let the music take him where it would. And as I asked him why, he commented that it scared him to confuse emotion with such powerful spirituality. "Is it bad," he mused, "to come so close to profound love for Jesus because of a musical experience? Is there something too easy about letting raw emotion be what brings us to the point of confession? Shouldn't there be more?" Of course, the precedent for musicians letting notes become their god is well documented...and yet something in me screams that music can be used by God to draw us to him. I certainly believe that my own salvation rests on that hinge. And yet, his point is clear. There is a part of me that allows that emotion can too easily be what leads us to Christ. We can get swept away in our feelings of insufficency and our need for love, and in the moments when exhaustion and beauty meet, we follow because we really can't help ourselves. Is this how it is supposed to work? Shouldn't the love, the beauty, already exist between our souls and Christ, and the music just mimicks this and makes us joyful? Or can something like music, which I fully believe reflects the face of God, be what actually draws us out of our dry spells and back into the glorious light of his love?
No amount of angle-changing can help me to see how these untangible entities work together. But I do know that thinking it through was incredibly healthy. I don't want a spirituality that is inspired soley by music. And yet, as a person with passion for music in my heart, I believe that this type of truth will always play a strong role in my life. I pray that this instrument will only ever be a guide, however, and that I never attempt to use it as the very food of my salvation.
As a result of these musings, I've been trying to focus on the poem alone for the past few days, and I'll leave it with you now in the hopes that you might use it to set your heart at right at the end of a day in the future.
Jesu, since thou me made and bought
be thou my love and all my thought
and help that I may to the be brought
withouten thee I may do nought.
Jesu, since thou must do thy will
and nothing is that thee may let
with thy grace my heart fulfill
my love, and my liking, in thee is set.
Jesu, at thy will, I pray that I might be
All my heart fulfill, with perfect love to thee.
That I have done ill
Jesu forgive thou me
and suffer me never to spill
Jesu for pity, for pity.
amen.
all in all I'm not really a new year's resolution type of girl. Sure, I've done it from time to time...but I, like most Americans, rarely follow through because the change is scripted and duty bound. But every once in a while, when I have a few extra seconds around me to breathe and take in the scenery, I become aware of a change that I really WANT to make...something that I know will make me tick but that is not a part of my life for some reason or the other. It sounds silly, but blogging is one of those things. Over Christmas break I started realizing that the past semester has been the least introspective for me in quite a while. And I don't like it.
I used to blog, journal, or write letters to myself on a nearly daily basis...and it fed my soul in many ways....but somehow, this past semester I have slipped out of it. I'm an external processor for the most part, I think. Much of my best talking and thinking gets done in conversation, either with others or with a blank page. And while introspection as an entity is often viewed as something done in quiet and in private, I find that while journaling or praying helps illuminate certain aspects of my soul, other parts of my being are best illuminated by a more public introspection. I was telling mom the other day that some of the friends I'm closest to, the ones I open my heart to and spill out my thoughts, feelings, and understandings to, are valuable not just because we share so much but because they cause me to say aloud the things I hold true within myself. Without these closest of aquaintances, who love me for who I am no matter what, I migth never be able to see the schemas and frameworks that I hold true...and, as a result, I might never understand the ways that my actions are governed by these beliefs. I pray that I'll never reach a point where my actions and attitudes are not occasionally reconsidered under the light of scripture, introspection, and the voicing of these thoughts and feelings to those around me whom I trust and love. All this leads me to an invitation, which I suppose I always assumed but have never stated about this site. Cross me if you must, think with me if something I say catches you wrong. I believe that one of the great mysteries of the body of Christ is the way that we must be open and vulnerable before each other in order to grow most quickly towards Christ. If we are not open to each other, not willing to be inspected, crossed, changed in our intereactions, than we may never reap the fullness of the relationships that God places in our path. You may be only my distant accquaintance...and yet, I believe that my greatest failure would be to keep myself closed either from lazyness or fear.
Therefore, i'm resolved to start over...not necessarily because it's the new year but because I've been a bit convicted that I've allowed a piece of myself to get apathetic towards its growth. I write here, and in my journal because I know I must keep an occasional eye on the trend of my thought patterns and actions...and I speak to those of you who I love and trust because I know I need you to occasionally check me. And, straying from the deep and intentional reasons for dialoging with no one in particular, I write here so that some day I can look back and see what God brought me through. May his name always be glorified through my rants, records, and revalations.
Tomorrow marks the first day of my last semester of college. Yes, "spring 09" is upon us...that small little combo that I've been putting on forms and sign ups for years. I've picked out my last class schedule, done a degree audit, and I'm currently living in the last house I'll ever live in during my undergraduate years. I moved out of my parents house yesterday and after unpacking I realized it is very likely the last time that i will live there. In June, Lord willing, I'm off to grad school...and the chances of my moving back are slim to none. It never ceases to amaze me how the big things always sneak up on me while I'm paying attention to details. 2 days ago I returned from choir tour, where my seniority was emphasized at every turn. I'm a section leader, the tour mom, and the go-to-girl for my dad and the choir alike. It was a wonderful trip to the southwest, and one that reminded me of all of the wonderful things that I've been given through this group over the years. My salvation experience was literally a result of sitting in Dad's concert, and physically feeling for the first time, God tugging on my heart. Then there was the year that my Christmas gift was a little suitcase and I got to go with dad all by myself on tour as a 10 year old. Getting to sit in the dressing room with the girls before all the concerts, letting them do my makeup, and seeing their excitement as they finally walked on stage made my days full somehow. And dreaming about someday being one of them was something that occupied a great deal of my time. In the last 3 years, being in the choir has changed the way that I see life, beauty, and the purpose of my future. It's changed the way I view people, my understanding of the value of giving of your soul, and my ideas about art and truth. It's brought me closer to dad, closer to my christian friends in the group, closer to people who think totally opposite of me and who I would never have gotten to know. I'm so thankful for this body, and so heartbroken that starting tomorrow I won't be able to go to reahearsals any more. Physics 2 somehow takes precedent over finishing out the semester with the people and the activity that have been balm to my soul so many times. I'm a bit afraid about returning on tour this weekend for my last 3 concerts. There is no question that I will be a total mess. :)
And yet, in the midst of all the feelings of seniority, it has been a blessing to also experience some very distinct "newness" over the past 2-3 weeks. My relationship with TJ has reached a very different level in recent weeks, as he has entered high school I find myself looking back to see a young man more and more. And he has grown, too, in his willingness to share about his life and ask with real intuition about mine. I'm hoping that this last semester at home will be a great bonding one for us...the one that we look back on when we both have kids as the foundation for our adult relationships. Adult. That huge scary word that simply isn't far off anymore. Time to start paying attention to what will define it. Tour had some "new" as well. We went to the southwest and sang for about 25 members of dad's family in Albuquerque, many of whom had not ever heard the choir before. We sang for my grandpa, who may not see many more concerts. Dad and I got the chance to show the choir a part of the country that many had never seen...the strong mountains, beautiful mesas, and unique pueblos. Such a vibrant and diverse group of people, with a flavor in the food and the culture that is unmatched anywhere that I've ever been. And the tour was littered with more than the usual number of new friends. Three in particular became fast friends...people I've known for a while but never really deeply interacted with. And suddenly, under the sunset of my college carreer, it became clear that they still had a profound impact to make on me. Lengthy conversations, incredible caring, and a sometimes inexplicable compatability made me realize how much I still have to learn from those around me...and how even though I feel like a big fish in a small pond at the moment, I haven't learned everything I need to just yet.
One of the most interesting conversations that I got into while on tour was about the emotional and spiritual overtones that often come with great musical experiences. One of my friends was talking about our closing song, a simple prayer which has come to mean the world to me. It is strangely worded, but about as raw in confession as anything I've ever sung. Many of the kids had expressed that this was their favorite song of all...and several of us have felt the incredible emotion that stems from the beautiful poetry, and the understated but heartwrenching cadences. My friend noted that he really hadn't "given in" to this song yet...hadn't really been able to fully engage his emotions and just let the music take him where it would. And as I asked him why, he commented that it scared him to confuse emotion with such powerful spirituality. "Is it bad," he mused, "to come so close to profound love for Jesus because of a musical experience? Is there something too easy about letting raw emotion be what brings us to the point of confession? Shouldn't there be more?" Of course, the precedent for musicians letting notes become their god is well documented...and yet something in me screams that music can be used by God to draw us to him. I certainly believe that my own salvation rests on that hinge. And yet, his point is clear. There is a part of me that allows that emotion can too easily be what leads us to Christ. We can get swept away in our feelings of insufficency and our need for love, and in the moments when exhaustion and beauty meet, we follow because we really can't help ourselves. Is this how it is supposed to work? Shouldn't the love, the beauty, already exist between our souls and Christ, and the music just mimicks this and makes us joyful? Or can something like music, which I fully believe reflects the face of God, be what actually draws us out of our dry spells and back into the glorious light of his love?
No amount of angle-changing can help me to see how these untangible entities work together. But I do know that thinking it through was incredibly healthy. I don't want a spirituality that is inspired soley by music. And yet, as a person with passion for music in my heart, I believe that this type of truth will always play a strong role in my life. I pray that this instrument will only ever be a guide, however, and that I never attempt to use it as the very food of my salvation.
As a result of these musings, I've been trying to focus on the poem alone for the past few days, and I'll leave it with you now in the hopes that you might use it to set your heart at right at the end of a day in the future.
Jesu, since thou me made and bought
be thou my love and all my thought
and help that I may to the be brought
withouten thee I may do nought.
Jesu, since thou must do thy will
and nothing is that thee may let
with thy grace my heart fulfill
my love, and my liking, in thee is set.
Jesu, at thy will, I pray that I might be
All my heart fulfill, with perfect love to thee.
That I have done ill
Jesu forgive thou me
and suffer me never to spill
Jesu for pity, for pity.
amen.
Friday, October 03, 2008
fall frolicking
hey everyone....
it's been a long time since I wrote...but I'm sitting on an hotel bed tired enough to sleep quite yet but a bit too tired to be social. There are 3 of us in the room and one more coming....we're chilling out and watching TV after meeting tonight at a great restaurant in town. It's Hilary's wedding weekend and after rehearsal dinner fun we are all a bit tired. But it's still fun to get to know each other and compiling blackmail on Hilary to be used down through the ages....
It's been a ridiculously hard week...I had a couple tests, a couple papers, and a couple of hum-dingers in the way of IV issues. But God is good and we got through it. This morning getting out of bed was a bit like pulling a mule through a paper towel roll...but a little caffeine and we are good to go.
Tonight driving up was so beautiful...the fields are all turning brown and yellow and red, and the sun was setting and fall was in the air like never before. I had a great talk with Laura, left a bunch of messages of other phones, and enjoyed the Caedmon's call title album about 3 times. For some reason I'm totally obsessed with them.
anyhoo, I'm headed to the wedding early tomorrow to press dresses and do hair for the bridesmaids. then tomorrow afternoon I'll head north to find Matt's high schoolers marching band competition. Then we are headed to DeKalb for a night to hang out and attend the 5th Annual DeKalb Kite Festival. hehe....it will be awesome.
well, we're getting tired here so I'll call it a night....
it's been a long time since I wrote...but I'm sitting on an hotel bed tired enough to sleep quite yet but a bit too tired to be social. There are 3 of us in the room and one more coming....we're chilling out and watching TV after meeting tonight at a great restaurant in town. It's Hilary's wedding weekend and after rehearsal dinner fun we are all a bit tired. But it's still fun to get to know each other and compiling blackmail on Hilary to be used down through the ages....
It's been a ridiculously hard week...I had a couple tests, a couple papers, and a couple of hum-dingers in the way of IV issues. But God is good and we got through it. This morning getting out of bed was a bit like pulling a mule through a paper towel roll...but a little caffeine and we are good to go.
Tonight driving up was so beautiful...the fields are all turning brown and yellow and red, and the sun was setting and fall was in the air like never before. I had a great talk with Laura, left a bunch of messages of other phones, and enjoyed the Caedmon's call title album about 3 times. For some reason I'm totally obsessed with them.
anyhoo, I'm headed to the wedding early tomorrow to press dresses and do hair for the bridesmaids. then tomorrow afternoon I'll head north to find Matt's high schoolers marching band competition. Then we are headed to DeKalb for a night to hang out and attend the 5th Annual DeKalb Kite Festival. hehe....it will be awesome.
well, we're getting tired here so I'll call it a night....
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Visual Evidence
I've been waiting to get pictures up here for more than a month now...and I'll wait no more!! Here's a few of my favorite shots and a slide show that I made of my experiences. Come and see me in another month or so and hopefully I'll have a book with prints in it. :)
This is Maggie, the owner of the bed and breakfast that we stayed in. She's a colorful Belgian woman who's late husband was a missionary to this area for 30 years. Dr. Matt (our internal med Doc) is with her.
Our accommodations at "Blue Sky" bed and breakfast...2 people to a room with real beds, electricity, and a privative version of running water...we were in the RITZ
View of the Indian ocean from the porch of my cottage. Try not to drool. God gave us a wonderful gift when He put us in such a comfortable and refreshing location.
Sorting medicines on our first morning in Kikumbala...we brought 10 suitcases of meds, supplies, and toys to give away. All the supplies were divided into 4 piles for the 4 different clinic sites we visited.
One of the many pharmacies that can be found in Kikumbala area...there is no shortage of quantity or types of medicines, and you can buy them without a prescription. But even at fractions of the cost of medicine in America, most people can't afford even simple pain killers.
Arriving to our clinic sites each morning was often overwhelming...anywhere from 50-200 people would be already waiting when we pulled up to the church. A few of our site days we had to close the doors immediately when we arrived, knowing that we would not be able to see more than the patients already in the building.
First Station in the clinic: vital signs and triage
Next stop: provider care stations. 2 doctors and 2 nurses worked individually and on teams to see patients at up to 4 stations. Here our team leader, Dr. Leanne sees a patient while educating Andrew (a med student in Kansas) about how to perform a basic "well child" physical
Many of our patients required de-worming medicines or one-time oral antibiotics. Here we administer oral parasite medicine to a 14 month old baby.
A vast majority of our patients had some form of wound that needed to be cleaned, removed, disinfected, or bandaged. Here, nurse Nancy cleanses and debreeds a diabetic ulcer on a woman's foot. Diabetes can be detrimental to the circulation of the outer extremities, so even minor infections can cause great trouble and even self-amputation, as seen in this woman's big toe.
Our oral ear-wash station. Many patients had impacted ears which increase the chance for infections and hearing loss.
After visiting providers and wound care, patients dropped their "prescriptions" at our pharmacy, where we sorted medicines and reduced large bottles into appropriate doses.
While patients waited for their prescriptions to be filled, each one was prayed with and counseled by pastors and elders of the church. Many of these conversations became gospel presentations and conversion experiences. We were thrilled to be able to provide a venue for these talks to take place and make way for lasting relationships between people and the Church.
Julia is a native from Mombassa who just finished pharmacy school in Kenya. She was an absolute Godsend, who helped to explain medication dosage and purposes to all of our patients.
This is hard work!! Taking some time off to play with children at Wema Center orphanage, where we held one of our clinic sites.
The four students (and the partners in crime) on the trip. From left to right, Rebecca (22, student from Los Angeles, anticipating Medical school in Summer 09), Lisa (21, Senior Nursing Major from South Dakota) , Me, and Andrew (21, entering medical school at KS university this August)
Our team with some of our ground crew after our clinic days in Rabbai. We were served coconut milk right out of the fruit in thanks for our work there.
This is Maggie, the owner of the bed and breakfast that we stayed in. She's a colorful Belgian woman who's late husband was a missionary to this area for 30 years. Dr. Matt (our internal med Doc) is with her.
Our accommodations at "Blue Sky" bed and breakfast...2 people to a room with real beds, electricity, and a privative version of running water...we were in the RITZ
View of the Indian ocean from the porch of my cottage. Try not to drool. God gave us a wonderful gift when He put us in such a comfortable and refreshing location. 
Sorting medicines on our first morning in Kikumbala...we brought 10 suitcases of meds, supplies, and toys to give away. All the supplies were divided into 4 piles for the 4 different clinic sites we visited. 
One of the many pharmacies that can be found in Kikumbala area...there is no shortage of quantity or types of medicines, and you can buy them without a prescription. But even at fractions of the cost of medicine in America, most people can't afford even simple pain killers.
Arriving to our clinic sites each morning was often overwhelming...anywhere from 50-200 people would be already waiting when we pulled up to the church. A few of our site days we had to close the doors immediately when we arrived, knowing that we would not be able to see more than the patients already in the building.
First Station in the clinic: vital signs and triage
Next stop: provider care stations. 2 doctors and 2 nurses worked individually and on teams to see patients at up to 4 stations. Here our team leader, Dr. Leanne sees a patient while educating Andrew (a med student in Kansas) about how to perform a basic "well child" physical
Many of our patients required de-worming medicines or one-time oral antibiotics. Here we administer oral parasite medicine to a 14 month old baby. 
A vast majority of our patients had some form of wound that needed to be cleaned, removed, disinfected, or bandaged. Here, nurse Nancy cleanses and debreeds a diabetic ulcer on a woman's foot. Diabetes can be detrimental to the circulation of the outer extremities, so even minor infections can cause great trouble and even self-amputation, as seen in this woman's big toe. 
Our oral ear-wash station. Many patients had impacted ears which increase the chance for infections and hearing loss. 
After visiting providers and wound care, patients dropped their "prescriptions" at our pharmacy, where we sorted medicines and reduced large bottles into appropriate doses. 
While patients waited for their prescriptions to be filled, each one was prayed with and counseled by pastors and elders of the church. Many of these conversations became gospel presentations and conversion experiences. We were thrilled to be able to provide a venue for these talks to take place and make way for lasting relationships between people and the Church. 
Julia is a native from Mombassa who just finished pharmacy school in Kenya. She was an absolute Godsend, who helped to explain medication dosage and purposes to all of our patients. 
This is hard work!! Taking some time off to play with children at Wema Center orphanage, where we held one of our clinic sites.
The four students (and the partners in crime) on the trip. From left to right, Rebecca (22, student from Los Angeles, anticipating Medical school in Summer 09), Lisa (21, Senior Nursing Major from South Dakota) , Me, and Andrew (21, entering medical school at KS university this August)
Our team with some of our ground crew after our clinic days in Rabbai. We were served coconut milk right out of the fruit in thanks for our work there.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
appraising
for two weeks I've been home and I still haven't written my final update.
two weeks of catching up on sleep.
two weeks of patiently waiting for my intestines to stop doing the "hate the USA" dance.
two weeks of editing pictures in awe of what I saw.
two weeks of staring at pieces of notebook paper and writing nothing.
Being a girl who normally thrives on busyness and activity, I've been strangely reclusive and quiet of late. I find myself sitting around and just being...leaving voice mails (which I usually listen to at the first avaliable moment) for hours and even days without listening to them. I'm so happy to be home. Glad to see familiar faces and hear the stories of what life was while I was gone. Glad to get back to a hot shower and water pressure. Glad to hand out trinkets and souvineirs from my trip, telling stories of the strange places I found them.
But something in me is certainly not yet settled. The culture shock has been more subtle than I expected but it's definitely there. So much of everything around me seems foreign and in little ways it wears me down. Driving for the first week was very strange, and I found myself subconciously driving 10 or 15 miles under the speed limit across large stretches of highway. All the rooms are sealed from the outdoors completely...no wind blowing in under the eaves, no sound of trees and ocean coming into my bedroom. The food comes in packages and the fruit doesn't fall off of the trees. My phone keeps ringing and I can't seem to really TALK to anyone...not because they aren't listening but just because I can't seem to put a full sentance together and still have it mean anything.
I've had happy reunions with many good friends over the last few days, and the smiles and hugs and questions are all welcome and warm...but I'm still learning how to respond and trying to push myself to engage the fellowship to be had around me.
My heart is still there.
Looking back on the trip there's no way, really, to appraise its value. No way to sum up in a few words what it did for me. No way to truly know what it did for others. I want to be able to say that what we did there had real value...lasting meaning...an impact that will have eternal consequences. But I don't know.
All told we saw 2,003 patients. Who knows how many prescriptions we wrote or how many hours we spent in the matatu. When we ran out of medicines, many of us gave away all the advil and tums that we had brought along for ourselves. We left clothing, gifts, and e-mails there. We brought gifts and pictures and some body weight back. But none of that means anything. It's just numbers and calculations.
As feelings of insufficiency and questions of value creep in around me I wonder if I somehow missed my purpose there. I feel in some ways like I never really got to KNOW my roommate...like I didn't ask all the right questions and didn't give the right kind of support. I feel like I should have been able to give more to the patients. More time...more love...more hope. I feel like I should have been able to give more than band-aids and hugs. I feel like I spent so much time analyzing God that at some times I may have missed his presence there.
And I have to keep reminding myself that all of the frustration that I feel--for the work "undone" and the surface only faintly scratched--is really because of a greater feeling that something DID happen there. It wasn't just a trip...it wasn't just a life experience...it wasn't just a chance to learn a new language and hang out with people who have darker skin. Something was working there under the surface. Something that I thought I understood but really had never fully seen. And while we were there, somewhere along the line, I saw deep in the ocean a small part of a shadow...a vast, dark, beautiful shadow moving through the water. And the glimpse was enough to convince me that I might never be able to view even the shadow in full. It was scary and depressing and awe inspiring and joyous all at once. And through the days as I caught little hints of the shadow here and there I began to believe in it more and more.
There were days that I could not explain the joy that I felt. There were days that my fatigue seemed to be the only thing to occupy my mind. There were days that my heart was so broken for the people we turned away at the door that I almost resented the people who had made it to the doctors. So much of my trip was learning that my heart is not aware of where the shadow is going...how or why it moves...how it guides me. And while the logistics and specifics of this trip could not have run more smoothly, the mental and emotional side of it was messy and unpredictable. Nothing about the way that my heart was stirred or my mind was confused could have been expained to me beforehand. Even now, I can't quite explain it to myself.
My team leader, Leanne, who has become something of a hero to me, was careful to show us a key scipture during our last few days on site. It comes from Paul's final letter to the Corinthians.
"Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others...for Christ's love compells us. Since we believe that Christ died for all we also believe that we have died to our old life. He died of everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...theis means that anyone who beliongs to Christ has become a new person. The Old life is gone, and a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him. For God was in Chist, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And He gave US this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ's ambassadors."
(II Corinthians 5)
Our leader was careful to emphasize that the success or excitement or fulfillment of a medical mission is not about how much we love people or about how much we love God, but about how much God loves us. About how He sent His son into the world so that we could be taken over by his love and beomce the face of His fogiveness to the world. what and incredible privillege and what a great mystery...that a soft thing like love could control and compell us--causing me to finally become significant. But first I must be dead...completely willing to be controlled...a living sacrifice.
As we shared communion in the pitch dark out on the beach, Leanne brought us a loaf of bread and some shot glasses full of apple juice. "This is Christ's Body...broken for YOU for the forgiveness of sins" ...for the sharing of the message of reconciliation. For the giving of the joy of freedom. For the invitation to a life on an altar. For the preparing of a place in heaven. For the experience of a compelled life on earth.
Oh God, forgive me for my pride as I headed into my trip expecting and praying to change and impact people as a result of my great love for them and for Him. There is NOTHING that my love can do for others. But oh...to be compelled. To be a part of that message. To be swept away by the beauty of the story so often that my life has to follow. That is a life worth living...worth sharing...worth dying for every day.
My heart aches and my eyes fill up again as a piece of the shadow once again becomes visible. I will no longer ask for miracles, or ask to see how my life fits into the greater scene. I'll only ask to keep seeing glimpses of His love...and to keep seeing my value in the way that he compells me to love. I pray that somehow I will keep this mystery fresh every day...keep seeking out that great love that gave up everything for me.
In the next few days I'll put some pictures up and perhaps post a copy of the presentation I'm giving to my church. Until then please pray for clarity and peace as I continue to re-adjust to life here. Thank you all for your unending prayers and support.
May the God of love compell you...
two weeks of catching up on sleep.
two weeks of patiently waiting for my intestines to stop doing the "hate the USA" dance.
two weeks of editing pictures in awe of what I saw.
two weeks of staring at pieces of notebook paper and writing nothing.
Being a girl who normally thrives on busyness and activity, I've been strangely reclusive and quiet of late. I find myself sitting around and just being...leaving voice mails (which I usually listen to at the first avaliable moment) for hours and even days without listening to them. I'm so happy to be home. Glad to see familiar faces and hear the stories of what life was while I was gone. Glad to get back to a hot shower and water pressure. Glad to hand out trinkets and souvineirs from my trip, telling stories of the strange places I found them.
But something in me is certainly not yet settled. The culture shock has been more subtle than I expected but it's definitely there. So much of everything around me seems foreign and in little ways it wears me down. Driving for the first week was very strange, and I found myself subconciously driving 10 or 15 miles under the speed limit across large stretches of highway. All the rooms are sealed from the outdoors completely...no wind blowing in under the eaves, no sound of trees and ocean coming into my bedroom. The food comes in packages and the fruit doesn't fall off of the trees. My phone keeps ringing and I can't seem to really TALK to anyone...not because they aren't listening but just because I can't seem to put a full sentance together and still have it mean anything.
I've had happy reunions with many good friends over the last few days, and the smiles and hugs and questions are all welcome and warm...but I'm still learning how to respond and trying to push myself to engage the fellowship to be had around me.
My heart is still there.
Looking back on the trip there's no way, really, to appraise its value. No way to sum up in a few words what it did for me. No way to truly know what it did for others. I want to be able to say that what we did there had real value...lasting meaning...an impact that will have eternal consequences. But I don't know.
All told we saw 2,003 patients. Who knows how many prescriptions we wrote or how many hours we spent in the matatu. When we ran out of medicines, many of us gave away all the advil and tums that we had brought along for ourselves. We left clothing, gifts, and e-mails there. We brought gifts and pictures and some body weight back. But none of that means anything. It's just numbers and calculations.
As feelings of insufficiency and questions of value creep in around me I wonder if I somehow missed my purpose there. I feel in some ways like I never really got to KNOW my roommate...like I didn't ask all the right questions and didn't give the right kind of support. I feel like I should have been able to give more to the patients. More time...more love...more hope. I feel like I should have been able to give more than band-aids and hugs. I feel like I spent so much time analyzing God that at some times I may have missed his presence there.
And I have to keep reminding myself that all of the frustration that I feel--for the work "undone" and the surface only faintly scratched--is really because of a greater feeling that something DID happen there. It wasn't just a trip...it wasn't just a life experience...it wasn't just a chance to learn a new language and hang out with people who have darker skin. Something was working there under the surface. Something that I thought I understood but really had never fully seen. And while we were there, somewhere along the line, I saw deep in the ocean a small part of a shadow...a vast, dark, beautiful shadow moving through the water. And the glimpse was enough to convince me that I might never be able to view even the shadow in full. It was scary and depressing and awe inspiring and joyous all at once. And through the days as I caught little hints of the shadow here and there I began to believe in it more and more.
There were days that I could not explain the joy that I felt. There were days that my fatigue seemed to be the only thing to occupy my mind. There were days that my heart was so broken for the people we turned away at the door that I almost resented the people who had made it to the doctors. So much of my trip was learning that my heart is not aware of where the shadow is going...how or why it moves...how it guides me. And while the logistics and specifics of this trip could not have run more smoothly, the mental and emotional side of it was messy and unpredictable. Nothing about the way that my heart was stirred or my mind was confused could have been expained to me beforehand. Even now, I can't quite explain it to myself.
My team leader, Leanne, who has become something of a hero to me, was careful to show us a key scipture during our last few days on site. It comes from Paul's final letter to the Corinthians.
"Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others...for Christ's love compells us. Since we believe that Christ died for all we also believe that we have died to our old life. He died of everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...theis means that anyone who beliongs to Christ has become a new person. The Old life is gone, and a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him. For God was in Chist, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And He gave US this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ's ambassadors."
(II Corinthians 5)
Our leader was careful to emphasize that the success or excitement or fulfillment of a medical mission is not about how much we love people or about how much we love God, but about how much God loves us. About how He sent His son into the world so that we could be taken over by his love and beomce the face of His fogiveness to the world. what and incredible privillege and what a great mystery...that a soft thing like love could control and compell us--causing me to finally become significant. But first I must be dead...completely willing to be controlled...a living sacrifice.
As we shared communion in the pitch dark out on the beach, Leanne brought us a loaf of bread and some shot glasses full of apple juice. "This is Christ's Body...broken for YOU for the forgiveness of sins" ...for the sharing of the message of reconciliation. For the giving of the joy of freedom. For the invitation to a life on an altar. For the preparing of a place in heaven. For the experience of a compelled life on earth.
Oh God, forgive me for my pride as I headed into my trip expecting and praying to change and impact people as a result of my great love for them and for Him. There is NOTHING that my love can do for others. But oh...to be compelled. To be a part of that message. To be swept away by the beauty of the story so often that my life has to follow. That is a life worth living...worth sharing...worth dying for every day.
My heart aches and my eyes fill up again as a piece of the shadow once again becomes visible. I will no longer ask for miracles, or ask to see how my life fits into the greater scene. I'll only ask to keep seeing glimpses of His love...and to keep seeing my value in the way that he compells me to love. I pray that somehow I will keep this mystery fresh every day...keep seeking out that great love that gave up everything for me.
In the next few days I'll put some pictures up and perhaps post a copy of the presentation I'm giving to my church. Until then please pray for clarity and peace as I continue to re-adjust to life here. Thank you all for your unending prayers and support.
May the God of love compell you...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
appreciating
today appreciation is the thing that stands out...
appreciation that the 80 year old mother of our team leader who fell in a store the other day broke only her arm and not her hip.
appreciation that today we sat in a service of a house church...it meets in an open air shack and has about 8 people in membership thus far (they are a little less than a year old). They preach the gospel face forward and are strong in both spirit and truth. Their worship lasted 30 minutes and ended with a bi-lingual version of "Amazing Grace" and "How great thou art" that reduced me to tears.
appreciation that I have had some time to kick back, read, and catch up on sleep the past two days...which have both refreshed me and renewed a fresh energy and passion for the coming days.
After our grueling days in Rabai (where we saw 310 patients on the last day alone) we were ready for a few days at the orphanage. These work days were shorter, the patients smaller, and the population generally healthier. It was wonderful to return to our housing before dark and have some energy for a card game or a devotional or a chat in the evening after dinner.
A few nights ago I found myself on the beach very late at night with my teammates Matt (a internal med doctor) and Andrew (a med student from Kansas city). We watched the stars in awe, admiring a completely new hemisphere that blended perfectly with some familiar constalations usually on the opposite horizon in the northern hemisphere. Matt is a buff and pointed out Scorpio and the southern cross (stop drooling, Dad...) and we also saw a meteor shower. As we walked along to get away from the lights, the moon began to rise over the Indian Ocean...as sight that definitely made my top 5 "life beauty moments"...it was absolutely breathtaking. We stood in silence and watched if for a full 30 minutes, and finally, after feeling our human frailty in full form, returned to the cabins for sleep.
Tonight our host is throwing a big party with authentic African food and lots of decorations. It will be open to the public but we will be honored guests. The people here are the warmest and kindest I've ever met. We can't deserve their hospitality.
The bus is leaving in 3 minutes, so I must scoot...more soon.
Please pray for us this week as we have 5 straight days of work in 2 different sights, both of which will have high populations and pretty sick people. I'm looking forward to another report next week!!
Love and miss you all,
morgs
appreciation that the 80 year old mother of our team leader who fell in a store the other day broke only her arm and not her hip.
appreciation that today we sat in a service of a house church...it meets in an open air shack and has about 8 people in membership thus far (they are a little less than a year old). They preach the gospel face forward and are strong in both spirit and truth. Their worship lasted 30 minutes and ended with a bi-lingual version of "Amazing Grace" and "How great thou art" that reduced me to tears.
appreciation that I have had some time to kick back, read, and catch up on sleep the past two days...which have both refreshed me and renewed a fresh energy and passion for the coming days.
After our grueling days in Rabai (where we saw 310 patients on the last day alone) we were ready for a few days at the orphanage. These work days were shorter, the patients smaller, and the population generally healthier. It was wonderful to return to our housing before dark and have some energy for a card game or a devotional or a chat in the evening after dinner.
A few nights ago I found myself on the beach very late at night with my teammates Matt (a internal med doctor) and Andrew (a med student from Kansas city). We watched the stars in awe, admiring a completely new hemisphere that blended perfectly with some familiar constalations usually on the opposite horizon in the northern hemisphere. Matt is a buff and pointed out Scorpio and the southern cross (stop drooling, Dad...) and we also saw a meteor shower. As we walked along to get away from the lights, the moon began to rise over the Indian Ocean...as sight that definitely made my top 5 "life beauty moments"...it was absolutely breathtaking. We stood in silence and watched if for a full 30 minutes, and finally, after feeling our human frailty in full form, returned to the cabins for sleep.
Tonight our host is throwing a big party with authentic African food and lots of decorations. It will be open to the public but we will be honored guests. The people here are the warmest and kindest I've ever met. We can't deserve their hospitality.
The bus is leaving in 3 minutes, so I must scoot...more soon.
Please pray for us this week as we have 5 straight days of work in 2 different sights, both of which will have high populations and pretty sick people. I'm looking forward to another report next week!!
Love and miss you all,
morgs
Thursday, June 26, 2008
adjusting
Greetings from Kikumbala.
It is Thursday afternoon here and we are taking a free day today to recover from all of the chaos and bustle the past three days. It is a much needed break...and I enjoyed the chance to sleep in till 8:15 this morning immensely.
Everything about this culture is different and fascinating. I cannot begin to describe all the things that there are to learn and adjust to. I've picked up enough Swahili to make it through the day...though we all rely heavily on our translators. I'm also adjusting to the hygiene here. We are blessed to have running water in our 4X5 foot bathroom...a shower head that protrudes from the wall spills a very cold, very narrow stream of water almost directly over the toilet seat...which makes showering an activity better suited for a contortionist than a medical student. But, we are coming to appreciate our digs more and more as we see what this country considers "normal".
The past three days we have been in Rabai doing medical clinics. Rabai is about 40 miles from Kikumbala, where we are staying, but due to traffic and bad road ways, it usually takes us about 1.5 to 2.5 hours to get there. We make this trip in a Matatu or taxi, which is about 4 feet longer than a mini van and maybe 1.5 feet wider. Into this vehicle we cram our 10 team members, 3 interpreters, the site coordinator, and our driver...as well as water, medicine, and supplies for the day. All told, the trip is one of the more challenging forms of transport I've ever encountered. I will never complain about inadequate leg room in the states again. :)
Our days at Rabai were taxing but very good. We did the clinics in an anglican church there (which was actually the first anglican church ever established in east africa...built in 1876). On our arrival each morning there were typically 80-150 people sitting in line. They were registered by locals of the village, had blood pressures taken, and then triaged as they waited to see the doctors and nurses. Our pharmacy then filled prescriptions as rapidly as possible..bagging, labeling, and pouring medications into anything that would hold them. We are giving primarily pain meds, stomach meds, antibiotics, antifungals, and de-worming or parasite treatments...but we have seen a large variety of cases. One of our doctors is an internal med guy, and the other, our team leader, is a family practice doctor. We also have an orthopaedic, an emergency, and a OR nurse (1 each) so we feel that there is a good spread of "specialty" to match the patients we are seeing.
But however prepared we come with medicines or knowledge base, I am learning that nothing ever feels like enough. And with limited supplies we often have the heartbreaking task of handing 20 multivitamins and 15 aspirin to a man who probably as chronic heart disease and a tumor. There is such immense need here and only so much that a temporary team of 10 can do. I have wrestled with this quite a bit in the past few days, especially as I hear people telling me that there is a perception among these people that those with white skin (the same as the first missionaries to the area) have the power to heal in very dramatic ways. We know that we cannot. It hurts me to feel so insufficient around these people...and to turn them away by the hundreds on the last day of the camp because supplies and time have simply run out. In a country with so much need, generosity will never be undesired, and the gift of health is a currency most cannot afford.
It has struck me often the past few days that I have always heard about the medical needs here and felt saddened that I could do nothing about it from 8,000 miles away. And yet, after our second day of clinic it struck me that I feel the same way. Here I am, right in the middle of all this need...and I still feel helpless in many ways. This, of course, is probably the point of taking a trip like this...to realize how powerless I am, and how quickly my generosity and kindess becomes stretched amongst so much need. I am praying desperately that God strips me of my own sense of sufficiency and strength and shows me my own weaknesses. He is doing so on an hourly basis and with increasing intensity.
At the same time, I also am praying that he will show me a miracle. I need to see in the midst of so much poverty and sickness that God is working through us even if my work seems to be just a band aid or a temporary help. I am impressed by the thoughtfulness of this ministry in the way that they set up the clinics. There is a huge amount of intentionality about who does what, so that everything is centered around the church. There is very little time for us to build any relationships while we are here...but the clinic is designed to bring favor to the church body in the village, so that after we leave they can continue to minister and witness to these people. In small villages so isolated from modern society...the church has much more potential to be the epicenter of the village life...providing support physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After the doctors see the patients they bring their prescriptions to the pharmacy and then move to the "spiritual care" area. Here, members from the local church are waiting to pray over the sick and talk with the poor and downtrodden. They are encouraged not to press for a conversion experience, but to be open and inquisitive into the lives of the people they meet, developing a relationship with those who are in need and beginning to show them how the love of Christ can meet their needs, and is doing so before their eyes.
I wish that my Swahili was such that I could listen to these conversations...but while I'm in the pharmacy bagging my 700th bag of multivitamins of the day, I am praying for them as well.
The pharmacy has been my main job since I've been here...in fact I have sort of become the unspoken supervisor over 2-3 other students, a translator who is a pharmacist and helps with patient education of the drugs, and our team leader's mother. This has been a great learning experience. I've also been able to tag along and shadow the family practice doctor a lot. More on her later...she is an inspirational compassionate doctor and a strong and passionate woman of God. I am so blessed to get to know her over the next week and a half.
Well...my internet bill is running up and I must move along...my e-mail has not been working well here so this may be my main form of communication...check back next week for more.
Missing home but loving it here as well...blessings,
morgan
It is Thursday afternoon here and we are taking a free day today to recover from all of the chaos and bustle the past three days. It is a much needed break...and I enjoyed the chance to sleep in till 8:15 this morning immensely.
Everything about this culture is different and fascinating. I cannot begin to describe all the things that there are to learn and adjust to. I've picked up enough Swahili to make it through the day...though we all rely heavily on our translators. I'm also adjusting to the hygiene here. We are blessed to have running water in our 4X5 foot bathroom...a shower head that protrudes from the wall spills a very cold, very narrow stream of water almost directly over the toilet seat...which makes showering an activity better suited for a contortionist than a medical student. But, we are coming to appreciate our digs more and more as we see what this country considers "normal".
The past three days we have been in Rabai doing medical clinics. Rabai is about 40 miles from Kikumbala, where we are staying, but due to traffic and bad road ways, it usually takes us about 1.5 to 2.5 hours to get there. We make this trip in a Matatu or taxi, which is about 4 feet longer than a mini van and maybe 1.5 feet wider. Into this vehicle we cram our 10 team members, 3 interpreters, the site coordinator, and our driver...as well as water, medicine, and supplies for the day. All told, the trip is one of the more challenging forms of transport I've ever encountered. I will never complain about inadequate leg room in the states again. :)
Our days at Rabai were taxing but very good. We did the clinics in an anglican church there (which was actually the first anglican church ever established in east africa...built in 1876). On our arrival each morning there were typically 80-150 people sitting in line. They were registered by locals of the village, had blood pressures taken, and then triaged as they waited to see the doctors and nurses. Our pharmacy then filled prescriptions as rapidly as possible..bagging, labeling, and pouring medications into anything that would hold them. We are giving primarily pain meds, stomach meds, antibiotics, antifungals, and de-worming or parasite treatments...but we have seen a large variety of cases. One of our doctors is an internal med guy, and the other, our team leader, is a family practice doctor. We also have an orthopaedic, an emergency, and a OR nurse (1 each) so we feel that there is a good spread of "specialty" to match the patients we are seeing.
But however prepared we come with medicines or knowledge base, I am learning that nothing ever feels like enough. And with limited supplies we often have the heartbreaking task of handing 20 multivitamins and 15 aspirin to a man who probably as chronic heart disease and a tumor. There is such immense need here and only so much that a temporary team of 10 can do. I have wrestled with this quite a bit in the past few days, especially as I hear people telling me that there is a perception among these people that those with white skin (the same as the first missionaries to the area) have the power to heal in very dramatic ways. We know that we cannot. It hurts me to feel so insufficient around these people...and to turn them away by the hundreds on the last day of the camp because supplies and time have simply run out. In a country with so much need, generosity will never be undesired, and the gift of health is a currency most cannot afford.
It has struck me often the past few days that I have always heard about the medical needs here and felt saddened that I could do nothing about it from 8,000 miles away. And yet, after our second day of clinic it struck me that I feel the same way. Here I am, right in the middle of all this need...and I still feel helpless in many ways. This, of course, is probably the point of taking a trip like this...to realize how powerless I am, and how quickly my generosity and kindess becomes stretched amongst so much need. I am praying desperately that God strips me of my own sense of sufficiency and strength and shows me my own weaknesses. He is doing so on an hourly basis and with increasing intensity.
At the same time, I also am praying that he will show me a miracle. I need to see in the midst of so much poverty and sickness that God is working through us even if my work seems to be just a band aid or a temporary help. I am impressed by the thoughtfulness of this ministry in the way that they set up the clinics. There is a huge amount of intentionality about who does what, so that everything is centered around the church. There is very little time for us to build any relationships while we are here...but the clinic is designed to bring favor to the church body in the village, so that after we leave they can continue to minister and witness to these people. In small villages so isolated from modern society...the church has much more potential to be the epicenter of the village life...providing support physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After the doctors see the patients they bring their prescriptions to the pharmacy and then move to the "spiritual care" area. Here, members from the local church are waiting to pray over the sick and talk with the poor and downtrodden. They are encouraged not to press for a conversion experience, but to be open and inquisitive into the lives of the people they meet, developing a relationship with those who are in need and beginning to show them how the love of Christ can meet their needs, and is doing so before their eyes.
I wish that my Swahili was such that I could listen to these conversations...but while I'm in the pharmacy bagging my 700th bag of multivitamins of the day, I am praying for them as well.
The pharmacy has been my main job since I've been here...in fact I have sort of become the unspoken supervisor over 2-3 other students, a translator who is a pharmacist and helps with patient education of the drugs, and our team leader's mother. This has been a great learning experience. I've also been able to tag along and shadow the family practice doctor a lot. More on her later...she is an inspirational compassionate doctor and a strong and passionate woman of God. I am so blessed to get to know her over the next week and a half.
Well...my internet bill is running up and I must move along...my e-mail has not been working well here so this may be my main form of communication...check back next week for more.
Missing home but loving it here as well...blessings,
morgan
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Awakening
Yes...its true...I'm still waking up from travel fog. This morning it took me a good 3 minutes to realize that the pounding on my door was from outside...that it was morning time...that the pounding was a knock from my team leader...and that I was supposed to get UP and answer it. :)
From beneath my mosquito netting and horizontal for the first time in 2 days, needless to say I was hard to arouse.
But beyond me awakening to my brain functions, I'm amazed again at how I'm awakening to the world, to myself, and to why God might have put me here as I drive around the streets of the village today. We have been taking some much needed rest...had a great team devotional this morning, dicussing God's purposes for us, then had some time to talk about how our clinics will run logistically. We then spent all morning and early afternoon sorting medicines into small packages to hand out at clinic sites. We've had a good chance to see much of what our team dynamics will be but in a more relaxed environment. On our trip there are 2 doctors, 3 nurses, a retired nurse, 4 students including me, and the mother of our team leader...who is just along to help where she can. The variety of ages (20-75??) and geographical locations in the states (California to Illinois) is really cool. I'm looking forward to knowing them better.
My roomate situation may prove to be interesting...she seems like a nice girl but has been quite stoic since we arrived...perhaps because she isn't feeling well. At any rate..pray for me on that one.
We've been well fed...the travel was quite smooth all things considered...and we've already done a lot of shopping this morning (for THE shoes...) We are happy to be here!!
Pray for us tomorrow as we connect with and worship the church that we are attending and as we prepare for our first clinic day Monday AM.
Love and miss you all...
Morgs
From beneath my mosquito netting and horizontal for the first time in 2 days, needless to say I was hard to arouse.
But beyond me awakening to my brain functions, I'm amazed again at how I'm awakening to the world, to myself, and to why God might have put me here as I drive around the streets of the village today. We have been taking some much needed rest...had a great team devotional this morning, dicussing God's purposes for us, then had some time to talk about how our clinics will run logistically. We then spent all morning and early afternoon sorting medicines into small packages to hand out at clinic sites. We've had a good chance to see much of what our team dynamics will be but in a more relaxed environment. On our trip there are 2 doctors, 3 nurses, a retired nurse, 4 students including me, and the mother of our team leader...who is just along to help where she can. The variety of ages (20-75??) and geographical locations in the states (California to Illinois) is really cool. I'm looking forward to knowing them better.
My roomate situation may prove to be interesting...she seems like a nice girl but has been quite stoic since we arrived...perhaps because she isn't feeling well. At any rate..pray for me on that one.
We've been well fed...the travel was quite smooth all things considered...and we've already done a lot of shopping this morning (for THE shoes...) We are happy to be here!!
Pray for us tomorrow as we connect with and worship the church that we are attending and as we prepare for our first clinic day Monday AM.
Love and miss you all...
Morgs
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Bon Voyage...
10 minutes or so and we'll be in the car driving...it's time to go to KENYA!
I have very little time, but wanted to pass along a bit of info while I can. I will hopefully be updating my blog a couple of times while I'm there via Internet cafe, and of course catching you up on everything on my return.
I'm a bit nervous this morning about the fact that I'm getting on a plane to go meet a bunch of strangers to do something medically related (I really don't know too many details)in a country I've never been to. This sounded fun 4 months ago...and I'm sure it will be fun in the end...but please pray for me today as I meet my team in Detroit and get to know them on the next three flights.
We will land in Mombasa sometime Mid-afternoon (US time) on Friday...then bus over to the compound where we are staying. Again, please pray for safe travel, smooth entry into the country, and a timely entrance. We are going to need our rest before we can be at all helpful to others!!
While I'm away I'm praying that God is mightily teaching me. Its always hard I think to learn while there are tons of people around...so the solitude of this trip might be exactly what He has in mind to get me alone with him and close to his heart.
Pray for the patients we encounter.
Pray for opportunities to share about our faith.
Pray for a good bond between team members.
Pray for good health for the team.
But most of all, pray that the name of God will be glorified in our work.
Love and will miss you all...
Morgan
Sunday, June 08, 2008
midsummer night's eve
ok...so the title is a little nuts...but it was all I could come up with.
It's been so long since I sat down to blog just because I didn't have anything better to do and wanted to clear my head a bit. Actually, I technically haven't unpacked from China yet...so that's definitely something I SHOULD be doing...but lets be honest...it's not high on the priorities list.
The past few days have been a wonderful little re-visit to life in the states. I started working at the hospital again...which was actually quite a good feeling. I also finally got to start playing catch up with everyone in my life. Saw Tina and Esther (absolutely adorable), had shopping/brunch/girlpile with Jill on two different days, grabbed a bike ride and chat with Andrew, had Mexican food with Laura, Heather, and Bethany, and even got to see Sarah Emily at church this morning. Good to be back at home as well...enjoying my larger room, being across the hall from my sis again, and the hugs from behind that TJ keeps giving out at random times. I cherish those hugs from a boy who may well go through a "too cool" stage but has not acheived it yet. He is truely growing up fast...not just in height but in intellect and humor and confidence and compassion. I look forward to getting to know him better this summer.
It has been raining here almost non-stop for the last 4-5 days...our backyard has flooded and receeded and re-flooded 2 times already...and thunderstorms are in the forecast for tomorrow. Many of our close friends are dealing with floods in their basements, and Dad has lent out the shop vac a couple times already. We are praying that the water goes down soon so that the farmers we know can get crops recovered quickly.
I've been anxiously awaiting news of the Kenya trip...tentatively scheduled for a week from Wednesday...ever since I returned from China, but in a series of events that I won't repeat I have not yet made contact with them. I assume this to mean that I am "all clear" but I must admit that even for ME (a generally non detail oriented citizen), the lack of details about this international adventure have me a bit out of sorts. I've been praying much in the last few days that God would calm my heart. I'm doing this because I have felt him calling me to go for a while...but we have spoken plainly that if this is not the right time or trip, He is to barricade me from setting foot on that plane. At this point, the fleece is still out, but I am eagerly awaiting the answer.
Tomorrow will be a fun day...I'm taking senior pictures for one of my sisters friends. I'm quite looking forward to this chance to get out in the open with a camera and try to capture something worth looking at. My sister and my subjects sister are also coming along...so it should be a fun adventure.
Well, I'm off to bed...determined to get a real nights sleep in on this night. The thunderstorms should help... :)
Blessings,
morgs
It's been so long since I sat down to blog just because I didn't have anything better to do and wanted to clear my head a bit. Actually, I technically haven't unpacked from China yet...so that's definitely something I SHOULD be doing...but lets be honest...it's not high on the priorities list.
The past few days have been a wonderful little re-visit to life in the states. I started working at the hospital again...which was actually quite a good feeling. I also finally got to start playing catch up with everyone in my life. Saw Tina and Esther (absolutely adorable), had shopping/brunch/girlpile with Jill on two different days, grabbed a bike ride and chat with Andrew, had Mexican food with Laura, Heather, and Bethany, and even got to see Sarah Emily at church this morning. Good to be back at home as well...enjoying my larger room, being across the hall from my sis again, and the hugs from behind that TJ keeps giving out at random times. I cherish those hugs from a boy who may well go through a "too cool" stage but has not acheived it yet. He is truely growing up fast...not just in height but in intellect and humor and confidence and compassion. I look forward to getting to know him better this summer.
It has been raining here almost non-stop for the last 4-5 days...our backyard has flooded and receeded and re-flooded 2 times already...and thunderstorms are in the forecast for tomorrow. Many of our close friends are dealing with floods in their basements, and Dad has lent out the shop vac a couple times already. We are praying that the water goes down soon so that the farmers we know can get crops recovered quickly.
I've been anxiously awaiting news of the Kenya trip...tentatively scheduled for a week from Wednesday...ever since I returned from China, but in a series of events that I won't repeat I have not yet made contact with them. I assume this to mean that I am "all clear" but I must admit that even for ME (a generally non detail oriented citizen), the lack of details about this international adventure have me a bit out of sorts. I've been praying much in the last few days that God would calm my heart. I'm doing this because I have felt him calling me to go for a while...but we have spoken plainly that if this is not the right time or trip, He is to barricade me from setting foot on that plane. At this point, the fleece is still out, but I am eagerly awaiting the answer.
Tomorrow will be a fun day...I'm taking senior pictures for one of my sisters friends. I'm quite looking forward to this chance to get out in the open with a camera and try to capture something worth looking at. My sister and my subjects sister are also coming along...so it should be a fun adventure.
Well, I'm off to bed...determined to get a real nights sleep in on this night. The thunderstorms should help... :)
Blessings,
morgs
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Top 10
Greetings all!!
I'm finally back from China, over jet lag, and getting into the swing of summer (with all of it's work, social outings, and humidity...). We've been quite busy the last week or so getting Casey's graduation party up and going and putting together all the details of the summer months. Grandma and Grandpa were here for a few days after our return (they got to see Casey graduate, which dad and I missed) and it was lovely to see them for a few days.
I realized yesterday that I have not written here for a rediculous amount of time. So sorry to be such a slacker! There is so much to write about China, I could not possibly ever write it all down...so if you want newsy stories and lots of pictures you'll have to come talk to me in person. But I wanted to give you a flavor for the trip by giving you my "top 10" list (in order of occurance) of u-choir tour 2008.
1. Opening concert in Taichung
We were entirely unsure of what to expect on our first day there...jet lagged and awed by the sights we were seeing (from hundreds of mopeds at every intersection to characters as far as the eye could see) we clambered out of the bus to yet another meal fit for kings and an incredible welcome party. We spent the afternoon at our sister campus and sang that night for a packed house in a room that must have been 90 degrees and 85% humidity. They received us so well, and cried with us at the end of the concert. Music knows no barriers.
2. Sheldon
Sheldon was our tour guide for the first 4 or 5 days of our trip. He is a business man from Hong Kong who owns 3 houses and his own business, is a retired gemologist, and is incredibly knowledgeable about politics and history in both China and the US. But instead of looking like an impressive figure, he is a man who is small in stature and speaks only when it is needed. He believes in doing things like tour guiding to educate and draw people into the culture and people of his country. He spoke graciously about all sides of the Taiwan/China/Hong Kong confusion (ask me...it's fascinating) and was able to illustrate both the strengths and weaknesses of the country's history and present with exceptional grace and skill. He was also so personable, asking us about our lives, planting gems of wisdom everywhere he went. He helped us navigate street markets, learn about some of the characters and the language (again...ask me), find the best deals in pearl stores, and above all come to love his country. When we said goodbye to him on the 5th afternoon of our trip, we gathered around him in the airport and began to sing the doxology. Then he began to cry. And after that, there was not a dry eye around the circle. He has left an incredible impression on us all.
3. Hiking up Victoria Peak in Hong Kong
Before we entered mainland china, we spent two days in Taiwan and almost a day in Hong Kong. This little collection of 240some islands is one of the most beautiful areas I have ever seen. To me, it looks like what I imagine New Zealand to be: overly green islands covered in rain forest, with dense humidity causing clouds to pass low around the mountains. But in Hong Kong, the rainforrest is not the only inhabitant. There are 40 million people who live in this 132km square piece of property, and due to such limited space, most of them live in high rise appartment buildings. This means that the mountains flow along with forest, and are then suddenly cut through with skyscrapers. The effect is stunning and beautiful. Our only morning in Hong Kong, we took a ferry from the island we sayed on onto Hong Kong island, the main industrial district of the region. The bus climbed a steep set of switchbacks until we reached the top of Victoria Peak, which overlooks the hugely important Victoria Harbor. We hiked around and took pictures, marveling at the fact that we felt that we were in a rainforest at one minute and in New York City the next. Ask to see picutres...they are awesome.
4. Shenzen girls choir
About our 5th day on the trip, we had our second concert, which was actually a "make-up" concert thrown together with a high school girls choir. We went in hoping to inspire them to keep singing and better their skills. We came out wishing that we had sung a little better. These girls (mostly 13 and 14 years old) were absolutely stunning in tone, performance skills, musicality, vocal range, and smiles. They charmed us with tight harmonies, resonnant tone, and incredibly beautiful faces. The exchange between us certainly showed some cultural differences in music selection, but also inspired on both sides to keep looking for what different things the human voice can accomplish. After the show, our boys went backstage to change, and we girls blended with them, speaking in broken Amerineese about whatever we could find in common. One of the girls pressed close to me suddenly asked "do you guys know high school musical??" and within seconds, we were all singing, dancing, grabbing hands, and turning around the stage. Freestyle dancing broke out in the middle of the circle as they pulled us into it and we laughed and entered a sureal space together. Suddenly the corny musical songs like, "we're all in this together" seemed ultimately appropriate. When the song ended someone started singing "Sia Hamba" the african spiritual. Then another broke out "Hey Jude" and "I will Follow Him". 10 mintues later we were all still dancing and singing and completely exhausted. ...and we were all believing in the power of music to break down walls like never before. We got to share dinner with the girls and they gave us presents, took pictures, and shared their dreams with us. Two close to me wanted to be a doctor and a Chinese ambassador respectively. They are bright minds and beautiful people...I'm sure they will go far. The chance to connect with girls like this who are real people and love their country and what lies beyond it was truely a remarkable experience.
5. Visit to the Beijing silk factory
This was a very touristy thing to do, but it really was remarkable. We saw how each cuckoon from each silk moth was made of a single thread, less that 1/10th the width of a human hair. 10 of these threads are twisted together to form a single thread to use in silk garments and sheets. We also saw how mattresses are made from double cuckoons whose threads cannot be isolated. What a hugely tedious and amazing process! They had a fasion show for us to highlight some of the best clothing. It was a fun event. And when the show was finished, they asked us to get up on the runway and sing for them!! Dad chalked one up for the "wierd venues" column as we sang through some of our lighter music for a very enthusiastic group of factory workers. That's a concert I'm not likely to forget!! :)
6. Bartering for gifts at the "Silk Street" market
One of my favorite parts about China is the fact that you get to barter wherever you go. There is something truely fascinating about the fact that the buyer gets to determine the value of what he or she wants that is not only economical but fun. Especially in market places, where much of the same merchandise can be found from kiosk to kiosk, it is interesting to be in the position of authority when you are buying, and to negotiate a price that is lower than what the person next door will offer. Ironically, I think there is little else that shows capitalism more clearly than buying things in this sociallistic country. I met up with Katie Kok while we were in Beijing, and she was with me on our biggest shopping day. We made quite a team and got some great gifts to bring home.
7. Peking Duck Dinner
On our second evening in Beijing, we experienced a local "must"...the peking duck dinner. This is perhaps the most incredible meal I have ever eaten. It began as usual with spinache and celery appetizers, rice, and a few cold dishes (including duck liver) to whet our appetites. Then came some hot dishes, a bit closer to what you would think of "chinese stir fry" looking like. And finally, whole ducks were brought out between the tables and sliced quickly. The skin is kept on and is very crispy and flavorful. Upon receiving the duck on your table, very thin rice "tortillas" are used to collect a cooked sprout/duck/greens mixture as well as the duck and a special sauce that I can only describe as a sesame vinegar barbeque sauce. This is rolled together and eaten...enjoy!! We ate until we could not eat more and reveled in the flavors. I'd love to take each of you there some day for this experience!!
9. Visiting Tien Am Men square and the Forbidden City
I'm ashamed to say that I don't know nearly enough history to be prepared for a trip like this, but on this day we were able to emerse ourselves in the history of the square and the forbidden city. Everywhere in this region is covered with pictures of Mao, and his tomb sits in the middle of the square, avaliable for viewing by anyone who walks by. Vendors sell Mao watches (the second hand causes him to wave at you) and red books of Mao's wise words. The square is packed with children carrying the flag of communist china. Moving across the street into the forbidden city was even more surreal. Here, for thousands of years, the emperors were kept in quarters completely isolated from the rest of the world, in order that their authority might be highlighted for all to see. But this place also became a prison, and one that so far removed the person of power from the people, that the dynasties were ultimately overthrown by cultural revolution. Amidst incredible archetecture and beautiful courtyards, there is an ominous undertone and a warning, which I cannot do justice.
10. The Great Wall
On our final day in Beijing, we drove up out of the city to climb the great wall. It was a truely remarkable experience and one that is not for the faint of heart. We climbed for about 50 minutes to reach the top...sometimes walking, sometimes scrambling to reach high enough for the next "step" and all the time wondering, how on earth did they build this thing a couple thousand years ago??? The sights of both the surrounding mountains and the wall itself (which stretches for over 5,000 miles) is truely amazing. We enjoyed the feeling of excercise, fresh air, and conquest over such a great piece of construction extremely, and took more pictures than really should ever be allowed.
So, that gives you an idea of what we did at least. Check facebook in the next few days for at least some favorites of my pictures. There are about 800 currently, so I'm trying to narrow them down. :)
Love to you all...and come visit me if you want more story time!!
Morgs
I'm finally back from China, over jet lag, and getting into the swing of summer (with all of it's work, social outings, and humidity...). We've been quite busy the last week or so getting Casey's graduation party up and going and putting together all the details of the summer months. Grandma and Grandpa were here for a few days after our return (they got to see Casey graduate, which dad and I missed) and it was lovely to see them for a few days.
I realized yesterday that I have not written here for a rediculous amount of time. So sorry to be such a slacker! There is so much to write about China, I could not possibly ever write it all down...so if you want newsy stories and lots of pictures you'll have to come talk to me in person. But I wanted to give you a flavor for the trip by giving you my "top 10" list (in order of occurance) of u-choir tour 2008.
1. Opening concert in Taichung
We were entirely unsure of what to expect on our first day there...jet lagged and awed by the sights we were seeing (from hundreds of mopeds at every intersection to characters as far as the eye could see) we clambered out of the bus to yet another meal fit for kings and an incredible welcome party. We spent the afternoon at our sister campus and sang that night for a packed house in a room that must have been 90 degrees and 85% humidity. They received us so well, and cried with us at the end of the concert. Music knows no barriers.
2. Sheldon
Sheldon was our tour guide for the first 4 or 5 days of our trip. He is a business man from Hong Kong who owns 3 houses and his own business, is a retired gemologist, and is incredibly knowledgeable about politics and history in both China and the US. But instead of looking like an impressive figure, he is a man who is small in stature and speaks only when it is needed. He believes in doing things like tour guiding to educate and draw people into the culture and people of his country. He spoke graciously about all sides of the Taiwan/China/Hong Kong confusion (ask me...it's fascinating) and was able to illustrate both the strengths and weaknesses of the country's history and present with exceptional grace and skill. He was also so personable, asking us about our lives, planting gems of wisdom everywhere he went. He helped us navigate street markets, learn about some of the characters and the language (again...ask me), find the best deals in pearl stores, and above all come to love his country. When we said goodbye to him on the 5th afternoon of our trip, we gathered around him in the airport and began to sing the doxology. Then he began to cry. And after that, there was not a dry eye around the circle. He has left an incredible impression on us all.
3. Hiking up Victoria Peak in Hong Kong
Before we entered mainland china, we spent two days in Taiwan and almost a day in Hong Kong. This little collection of 240some islands is one of the most beautiful areas I have ever seen. To me, it looks like what I imagine New Zealand to be: overly green islands covered in rain forest, with dense humidity causing clouds to pass low around the mountains. But in Hong Kong, the rainforrest is not the only inhabitant. There are 40 million people who live in this 132km square piece of property, and due to such limited space, most of them live in high rise appartment buildings. This means that the mountains flow along with forest, and are then suddenly cut through with skyscrapers. The effect is stunning and beautiful. Our only morning in Hong Kong, we took a ferry from the island we sayed on onto Hong Kong island, the main industrial district of the region. The bus climbed a steep set of switchbacks until we reached the top of Victoria Peak, which overlooks the hugely important Victoria Harbor. We hiked around and took pictures, marveling at the fact that we felt that we were in a rainforest at one minute and in New York City the next. Ask to see picutres...they are awesome.
4. Shenzen girls choir
About our 5th day on the trip, we had our second concert, which was actually a "make-up" concert thrown together with a high school girls choir. We went in hoping to inspire them to keep singing and better their skills. We came out wishing that we had sung a little better. These girls (mostly 13 and 14 years old) were absolutely stunning in tone, performance skills, musicality, vocal range, and smiles. They charmed us with tight harmonies, resonnant tone, and incredibly beautiful faces. The exchange between us certainly showed some cultural differences in music selection, but also inspired on both sides to keep looking for what different things the human voice can accomplish. After the show, our boys went backstage to change, and we girls blended with them, speaking in broken Amerineese about whatever we could find in common. One of the girls pressed close to me suddenly asked "do you guys know high school musical??" and within seconds, we were all singing, dancing, grabbing hands, and turning around the stage. Freestyle dancing broke out in the middle of the circle as they pulled us into it and we laughed and entered a sureal space together. Suddenly the corny musical songs like, "we're all in this together" seemed ultimately appropriate. When the song ended someone started singing "Sia Hamba" the african spiritual. Then another broke out "Hey Jude" and "I will Follow Him". 10 mintues later we were all still dancing and singing and completely exhausted. ...and we were all believing in the power of music to break down walls like never before. We got to share dinner with the girls and they gave us presents, took pictures, and shared their dreams with us. Two close to me wanted to be a doctor and a Chinese ambassador respectively. They are bright minds and beautiful people...I'm sure they will go far. The chance to connect with girls like this who are real people and love their country and what lies beyond it was truely a remarkable experience.
5. Visit to the Beijing silk factory
This was a very touristy thing to do, but it really was remarkable. We saw how each cuckoon from each silk moth was made of a single thread, less that 1/10th the width of a human hair. 10 of these threads are twisted together to form a single thread to use in silk garments and sheets. We also saw how mattresses are made from double cuckoons whose threads cannot be isolated. What a hugely tedious and amazing process! They had a fasion show for us to highlight some of the best clothing. It was a fun event. And when the show was finished, they asked us to get up on the runway and sing for them!! Dad chalked one up for the "wierd venues" column as we sang through some of our lighter music for a very enthusiastic group of factory workers. That's a concert I'm not likely to forget!! :)
6. Bartering for gifts at the "Silk Street" market
One of my favorite parts about China is the fact that you get to barter wherever you go. There is something truely fascinating about the fact that the buyer gets to determine the value of what he or she wants that is not only economical but fun. Especially in market places, where much of the same merchandise can be found from kiosk to kiosk, it is interesting to be in the position of authority when you are buying, and to negotiate a price that is lower than what the person next door will offer. Ironically, I think there is little else that shows capitalism more clearly than buying things in this sociallistic country. I met up with Katie Kok while we were in Beijing, and she was with me on our biggest shopping day. We made quite a team and got some great gifts to bring home.
7. Peking Duck Dinner
On our second evening in Beijing, we experienced a local "must"...the peking duck dinner. This is perhaps the most incredible meal I have ever eaten. It began as usual with spinache and celery appetizers, rice, and a few cold dishes (including duck liver) to whet our appetites. Then came some hot dishes, a bit closer to what you would think of "chinese stir fry" looking like. And finally, whole ducks were brought out between the tables and sliced quickly. The skin is kept on and is very crispy and flavorful. Upon receiving the duck on your table, very thin rice "tortillas" are used to collect a cooked sprout/duck/greens mixture as well as the duck and a special sauce that I can only describe as a sesame vinegar barbeque sauce. This is rolled together and eaten...enjoy!! We ate until we could not eat more and reveled in the flavors. I'd love to take each of you there some day for this experience!!
9. Visiting Tien Am Men square and the Forbidden City
I'm ashamed to say that I don't know nearly enough history to be prepared for a trip like this, but on this day we were able to emerse ourselves in the history of the square and the forbidden city. Everywhere in this region is covered with pictures of Mao, and his tomb sits in the middle of the square, avaliable for viewing by anyone who walks by. Vendors sell Mao watches (the second hand causes him to wave at you) and red books of Mao's wise words. The square is packed with children carrying the flag of communist china. Moving across the street into the forbidden city was even more surreal. Here, for thousands of years, the emperors were kept in quarters completely isolated from the rest of the world, in order that their authority might be highlighted for all to see. But this place also became a prison, and one that so far removed the person of power from the people, that the dynasties were ultimately overthrown by cultural revolution. Amidst incredible archetecture and beautiful courtyards, there is an ominous undertone and a warning, which I cannot do justice.
10. The Great Wall
On our final day in Beijing, we drove up out of the city to climb the great wall. It was a truely remarkable experience and one that is not for the faint of heart. We climbed for about 50 minutes to reach the top...sometimes walking, sometimes scrambling to reach high enough for the next "step" and all the time wondering, how on earth did they build this thing a couple thousand years ago??? The sights of both the surrounding mountains and the wall itself (which stretches for over 5,000 miles) is truely amazing. We enjoyed the feeling of excercise, fresh air, and conquest over such a great piece of construction extremely, and took more pictures than really should ever be allowed.
So, that gives you an idea of what we did at least. Check facebook in the next few days for at least some favorites of my pictures. There are about 800 currently, so I'm trying to narrow them down. :)
Love to you all...and come visit me if you want more story time!!
Morgs
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
HIV +
A rare chance to breathe tonight...
Faith and I are both sitting on the living room couch together, computers in our laps and random comments bouncing back and forth. SVU law and order was on until about 10 minutes ago, when good old WAND news blared on and caused a quick flick of the remote to silence it. It's a rare opportunity for us both to be sitting together, and strangely enough this is about as close as I get to social interaction with my roommates. Sad...very sad. But I take what I can get.
I'm exhausted and relishing chance to sit in one place...just for a few minutes. I haven't done that in a while.
AIDS awareness week was a huge success last week. We raised more than $800 with our small group of people to send overseas, but also to go to a summer camp for kids with AIDS up in Minnesota. Spent a lot of time during the week talking with people about needs. Needs of AIDS patients who are often in poverty and hopelessness. Needs of all people who feel the same holes in their innermost parts and can't fill them try as they may. Our chapter did some straight out evangelism in conjunction with the week, and saw a real window opening to proclaim Jesus as a relevant answer to the struggles that we all find ourselves in the middle of. But we also saw a window opening in our own hearts as we pondered Jesus' interactions with the poor, the oppressed, and the diseased. As a christian, you can't learn about an AIDS patient, who experiences so much physical pain, emotional hunger, and social rejection, without relating their struggles to those of the leapers in bible days. And where was Jesus during those times?? Right beside them. Seeing their needs as people rather than their faults and brokenness...identifying in them the areas that he could fill and giving them new life and hope and direction.
We heard a speaker on a video talking about the many coffin bearers that the AIDS epidemic has trained. In Africa where the conditions are most severe, coffin makers are the wealthiest people in the villages, and family members carry their relatives one by one to the grave. The man in the video talked about the importance of developing palate bearers, who will bring the sick and the hurting to the foot of the cross...who will point to the only one that can fill, heal, and truly love. When you look at the human heart, the truth is that we are all diseased. What the AIDS patient cannot hide many of us can and do. But Jesus longs to reach out and touch those needs...to expose what we have learned to hide away to avoid social rejection...to heal what we are afraid to show those in our churches and families. We cannot preach that an AIDS patient will be healed if they choose to follow Jesus, but we can proclaim that the soul of every man born on earth is diseased, and that those wounds are ones that Jesus will heal.
We had several people on campus make decisions to follow that healer, that filler of needs, that giver of unconditional love this week. It is amazing to take steps of faith and open spiritual dialogs only to find that rather than doing the work, you can sit down in front row seats to watch what God is already at work doing. We pray that the openness that God has brought in the few hearts we got to know will continue and that we all might be changed internally to follow this great love which cares so deeply for every human need.
With the week over, I focussed once more on my millipede testing project, and finally completed phase 1 on Sunday night. Wondrous to have two HUGE projects over in the same weekend!! Last night's near-all-nighter put me over the edge sleep wise, but did help me finish my Neurobiology research paper, which I finally turned in this morning.
I suddenly feel like I have time to breathe again. Time to look at lightning as it flashes through the windows tonight and to get some basic "life maintenance" things done around the house (which I have been ignoring for far too long). My "list" for now is as follows:
~ SLEEP (my brain has been extremely slow moving these last few hours)
~ clean my room (it's desperate folks)
~ get back on a regular eating, working out, and quiet time schedule
~ vacuum my room
~ clean the kitchen floor and my bathroom in the house
~ do this weeks laundry (oh...and last week's laundry too I guess)
~ catch up with Casey who seems to have lots of stories of senioritis that I haven't listened well to in a while
~ call the hospital to see if I still have a job this summer
~ listen to TJ's speech (i missed the competition but I still need to hear it)
~ start getting details ironed out for my China trip
~ catch up on my class work
~ balance my checkbook
~ keep praising God for all He's brought me through these past few weeks
At the end of our AIDS week big event last week all of the Intervarsity kids gathered in a circle as the crowd dispursed and prayed joyously in thanksgiving for all that we had been a part of. A spontaneous version of the doxology broke out...and the words which are so simple have been in my head ever since.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him, All creatures here below
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Amen
As we take the time to praise Him, we must never forget that those on high are already singing praises around his throne day and night, crying "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb who sits upon the throne!!"
May our hearts beckon us to participate in the joyous chorus more often...
Praise the Lord!!!!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
let there be GREEN!!!
It surprises me every spring how somewhere in the surry of the days of late march I forget to look around me....and then one day, all of the sudden, the green begins to jump out at me from everywhere...as thought God had just flipped on a light switch that allowed our eyes to see a brand new color.
Today was that day for me.
I'm not sure why, but the grass suddenly looked alive...a brilliant color of green. It's not as tall as it will be soon, but its height is just enought to overcome the drab browns that have dominated the landscape for the last 4 months...
amazing!!
The brilliant blue sky doesn't hurt either...
spring time just might be here....
:)
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