new light on an old lesson...

I know this is one of the most well known verses in the bilble...but it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday...thought some of you might appreciate it... "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance...will come from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come...for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14 God's plan will not be stopped by our unwilliness to surrender to it. Instead, it is our job to decide whether we will be the ones to carry his great loving plan. ....carry on...

update from scovil hall...

so I'm sitting here in the new business school, taking advantage of the wireless access and digesting the sandwich I just had (first nourishment all day...feels good!!). I started classes this morning, which was really good...I was well ready to get out of "summer camp" mode and into a routine, however rigorous it may turn out to be. I'm excited about the teachers I've had so far...one is older, totally off the wall, and a really fun person (she wears shorts and hawaiian shirts and often dramatically gestures or hops around the room). The other is a petite, younger woman, who seems to be very intelligent, kind, and interesting...and not a bit pathetic either. She may be about 5"1' but she won't let anyone slide. my enter key, I just discovered, doesn't want to work, so bear with the long paragraph. Anyway, I'm a bit overwhelmed after looking at the syllabuses (is that a word??) but excited about the depth of the class, and my classmates. My honors seminar is going to be great. Tomorrow I have both of my science classes, which should be interesting. And I'm in the process of being put into a choir...which I can't wait for. I'm enjoying this so far...good stuff. well, it's time to head out and do some more reading. Hope that your day is great!! later

a praise....

i met a girl.
her name is Lauren
and last night during a really crass movie we started talking...
turns out she's a christian
just recently recomitted her life to christ and started reading the bible
and is looking for a church

needless to say, Riverside will have it's first visitor on Sunday
and I am jazzed beyond all belief
thanks for the prayers
there must be more seekers out there

love to you all...

The little things...

It's the little things in life that make it the best

*babysitting for 6 kids on a great summer night...helping the littlest boy on his art skills via the magnetized drawing board, keeping the baby in the grass and away from the older kid's bikes, and judging the driveway races from the sidelines (and giving a talk on "winning isn't everything" to the middle siblings)

*getting your teeth cleaned (especially when they squirt that little thin stream of water over your teeth right after they are polished. I like that part the best)

*listening to your little brother sleeping over with a friend in a tent on the deck

*watching the sun rise through the hospital window...and knowing it's the last time I'll do it, perhaps for a very long time. :)

*Listening from the hallway to the little old men that were my patients on Monday talking about my "future plans." I especially liked the part where the 85 year old declared that I will never get to do what I planned because I will meet a boy and "that will change everything."

I enjoyed these and other "little somethings" this week and maybe that's what made today seem so BIG!! I went to Millikin for the first time tonight...it was move in day but we went for dinner tonight and met a few people there...then had a motivational speaker of sorts who talked us through time management and internships (I didn't quite understand the last part). That was OK I guess. Mary and Angie came here during dorm floor meetings and we played with my new technology, which has me a little confused. (tonight I locked my phone and couldn't get it undone...not to mention the fact that the password I thought I entered for my voice mail doesn't work. Guess I'd better call them tomorrow...tee hee!) Then we went back to the Student Union for Karaoke and pizza...that was really loud and crowded, but we met a few more people and I got to talk to my small group leader, which was good. she's a bio major and very helpful.

It's weird to have a class that is 6 times the size of my whole high school and has so many different kinds of people. Tonight I got a kick out of just sitting and watching everyone. The athletes are interesting, there are punks, there are clean cut guys, there are girls who have never been taught the difference between underwear and a shirt. poor things. there are outgoing people who made it a point to introduce themselves to everyone. There are shy ones that stand in little groups in the corner (we met several of them...they are easier to approach than the others somehow) and there are people that look pretty normal. Funny how I say normal, when there really isn't such thing. I guess that's what struck me the most tonight. Individuality and uniqueness has never seemed so obvious...and something that I don't notice very often. Perhaps that's a fault of christians, that we surround ourselves with people that are exactly the same as us. just a thought.... It's cool...and exciting...and scary. My only regret is that I'm afraid it will be a little difficult to break in since I don't have a dorm floor to call home on campus...but we'll be doing lots of activities in the next few days to get us aquainted, so hopefully we'll get to spend some time with lots of new people. In the meantime I aim to find some little things on campus to enjoy....and hopefully some new friends who can enjoy them too.

Peace...

t-3 seconds and counting

Greetings all-

Well...it's the last weekend before school starts and so I thought I should write something...not sure what yet, but it will evolve as always I hope.

Gosh, the last week has totally flown by...my schedule became so packed that I'm lucky that in all the time I didn't drive to the wrong city, lock my keys in my car, or fall asleep in the middle of some random building (I did leave by gas cap at the station...but that's not TOTALLY eccentric, is it??). Craziness! I had a great time though, seeing everyone off...getting in on 4 different packing sessions with my friends (family dynamics are always heightened during these times...it can be pretty funny...), and lots of parties to say goodbye for "the last time." We spent more time recording, went to Kim's for a night, went out on the boat for the last time, had a church picnic, and generally made the most of every waking second. Thursday night we had a few of the church families over to our house for some ice cream and a goodbye for Jackie and Andrew. I felt that it was a little unfair that I had to say goodbye to both of them in the same night. They have made this year so fun in so many different ways...it's hard to imagine school without them. However, if we are going to introduce the rest of the world to our craziness (which we spent the last 4 years perfecting) we will have to split up some time I suppose. Love you guys tons.

I've been doing a lot of reading and shopping trying to get all ready for school myself. Last night I went to spend some time with Zach and Tina before Zach left this morning, which was fun. And tonight and tomorrow I work again for the last time (no more 12 hour night shifts!!)

This time next week I will be fully emersed in the "college world" and trying to keep my head above water and perhaps even make a difference there. Prayers are appreciated...peace to you all!

The Good Times....

wow...there have been so many of them lately. Cramming in every last minute with my friends has caused me to resemble a chicken with no head lately...but that's not a problem. We had a great family night with the Costerisans on Friday...the WHOLE family, including Annie, which was odd but so much fun. She's about the only girl in the world who could sweeten that barrel any more. Aaron, you did good. :)

Saturday we practiced for our quartet...which was fun cause only 3 of us could make it. No problem though, Andrew can play the drum, pluck out a bass part, and sing all at the same time! Saturday night I headed to Texas Roadhouse with Matt, Zach, and Tina...we had fun eating way to many rolls with cinnamon honey butter and steaks. Yeah fun! Then we went to vernons were a whole slew of people were waiting for Matt...to wish him well and give him some goofy presents. We had a blast, a good time of prayer for the departing college students, some great food, and a long game of mafia. Once the gang had fizzled slightly the foursome sat back down because Zach and Matt decided that this once they could beat tina and I (the lengendary, telepathic team) in spades. They put up a good fight but they both suffer from ADD I think and we ended up beating them in the latest game of spades I've ever played. In fact, once we prayed once more I just beat 2 am home. Yikes! It was tough to say goodbye to my good buddy Matt and realize that he is just the first of several tough farewells this week. But then again, he's jazzed, and I know that he won't completely change before I see him again.

Sunday morning the quartet worked hard to pull the song together and we had fun singing it on Jackie and Andrew's last sunday before they depart. Good times...we've spent so much of this year singing together, it was a fitting way to end...and an awesome song too! I also got to chat with Jessica from RBC who is going to be a sophmore at Millikin about how we can draw some students to the church. Her attitude got me excited about the possibilities...and about the potential friend I have in her. After evening service we went to DQ with Jacks, the Bosticks, the Costerisans, and their missionary cousins (very cool people) ...that was fun. Then we had a movie night and helped Jackie keep her head on straight during her packing. This morning my mom woke me at noon to remind me that I had an 11 am lunch date with Heather. Sorry sweetie!! We had a good time with what we had left though. Then tonight TJ, my (amazingly!) 11 year old brother, had a birthday party at the bowling alley. Right now he and his best friend are camped in a tent on the deck and probably having more fun that I can imagine. I love that kid...he is so cute. ...and I hope he'll keep his air soft gun away from me! :)

The rest of this week is already almost booked with recording, church stuff, get togethers, sorting out finances, buying books, and more cleaning. ...that last one is probably my favorite.

I watched a toon on homestarruner called "bug in mouth disease" on saturday night. Homestar swallows a bug and runs around, frantically dramatic, yelling "THE GOOD TIMES ARE OVER STRONGBAD!!" for the whole show. When he finally rids himself of the problem he goes back to normal life like nothing ever happens. I realized between Matt's laughter that I may have had some of the same behavior lately...frantically grasping at each "last time" and dreading the day when I have to say goodbye to the awesome highschool years I had. I'm sorry for being so annoying, for anyone who happens to read this. ...I'm going to try harder. God's really been working on me to see the potential he has for me to fill in the FUTURE, not the past. Tough lesson to learn for me, but there are people who need me, people who I need, and work to be done around that corner that I can't see. Faith...I need some. the good news is that despite the hard times that will come, the good times are far from over.

To those of you who have or will be moving on this week...I love you all and will miss you dearly. Let me know about your times, good or otherwise, so that we can make more when you come back. Blessings on you as you embark on new journeys.

"We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers; fondly remembering your work prompted by faith, your labor produced by love, and your perseverance inspired by hope in our lord Jesus Christ, and in the sight of God the Father"
1 Thes. 1:2-3

Revolt Against Full Sentances...1st draft

Cleaning
recording for Andrew's new album
reading "Diary of a Wombat" (a new favorite soon to be a classic)
getting to know sarah riemer
listening to her song for the above mentioned book
playing with blow pens
seeing the Muni production of "Beauty and the Beast"
eating chocolate
listening to Nickel Creek's new album
praying hard
cleaning again
cooking
dreading the "week of goodbyes" that starts sunday
practicing for a special in church
boating
skiing
tubing with my sis
screaming loudly during the above mentioned
falling
playing games
eating awesome food
hearing great music

sleeping...

Back in the cornfield...man it feels good!

Greetings from cloudy florida where it rains every day and is clear in the nights! That's about the only "Darn Tootin'" that I can summon from the last ten days. It was an AWESOME trip, even if I didn't get enough of a tan to share with all of you like I promised. :)

We saw two of my cousins and my aunt and uncle for the first time in 9 years...this meant that one of the cousins is now pregant and married (the other two are well on their way...) anyway, that was neat. We saw wedding pictures and caught up on all the news. My two oldest cousins are brothers (26 and 23) and the funniest guys around. One is bald and in the navy and as boisterous as they come. The other is into martial arts, totally a people person, and can recite any word backwards in about a second. He unleashed this phenomenon during dinner one night and had all 14 of us rolling on the floor. we were shooting words out right and left, and he returned all of them without difficulty. He also recited the alphabet backwards in about 3 seconds. Darn photographic memories. When the laughter subsided my dad said "that's incredible!" Without skipping a beat, Ian said "elbidercni?" Both of them were total gentlemen...the type that seem to live to serve. Casey and I agree that we are totally spoiled for the rest of our lives. My youngest cousin Bryan is 13 and a hoot. He had fun learning street fighting from Ian and then trying it on me. :)

We also had a great night to celebrate Grandma and Grandpa's 60th wedding anniversary. (that's so many years to live with a person!!) ...it was so cool...casey and bryan dressed up in the hat and navy uniform that they were married in and we had cake and did swing dancing and looked at old pictures and let them reminice. We were really glad to have the week to spend investing...and they did some investing in us. We had our own service were my grandfather blessed us all, wrote out our strengths and encouraged us with a scripture. It was cool.

Somewhere in the midst of one of the 15 hour trips we realized that we had been in the car for 12 straight hours 3 days out of the past week. YIKES!! it is time to be home for a while.

When we got back yesterday, we decided that vacation didn't need to be over quite yet, so we went boating with Costerisans, re-taught mom how to water ski, and then went to dinner with them. Lastly we went to check out the decatur celebration, which was cool because I have never been in town for it. Anyway, we are hoping to head back there tonight to see Jars of Clay. Yay fun. My only regret is that I didn't get to see Chris before he left today. There were just a few too many people at that concert last night!!

I'm eating up the prospect of the last two weeks with minimal schedule issues...blessings on you all.

I need you

an encouraging message brought to me by a random turn of events...and a song that I think I will learn a little better in the next few days. Our redemption is a source of indescribable joy and hope.

My heart is restless in me/ my wings are all worn out/ I’m walking in the wilderness/ and I cannot get out/ I need You oh I need you/ blessed savior come/ I need you oh I need you/ you’re the every longing of my soul/

(*)Oh how I need you Lord/ I need your perfect word/ With tearful eyes to see/ the sin that I afford/ I need to weep and pray/ for O the thousand ways/ that I have failed you just today/

My bed is soaked with sadness/ my sadness has no end/ A downward spiral of despair/ and I keep falling in/ I need you oh I need You/ to You my soul shall fly/ I need You oh I need You/ YWHW how I love You more than life/

(*)

Your silence is like death to me/ so won’t you hear my desperate plea/

Today my soul is soaring/ way over mountains high/ and though I can see the valleys/ they’re all just passing by/ It’s not that I am stronger/ look at my feeble wings/ but I’ve been lifted higher/ YWHW’s lifted me in His own strength/

Oh how I love you Lord/ I love your perfect word/ with tearful eyes to see/ the God who always will endure/ Now I will celebrate/ for O the thousand ways/ that you have shown me grace/ and made my heart, in grace, to stay/ you’ve made my heart in grace to stay/

I need you~ Josh Bales

72 hours and counting

Those of you who know my family know that we don't sit around too much. Schedules, planning, and long vacations usually come in abundance this time of year. We got back from this place in Minnesota that you see here...I hope(technology isn't my thing)...tonight at about 10 and ASAP thursday morning we will leave for Florida. ...I'm starting to think maybe we should just get a private jet so we wouldn't have to spend so much time in the car...and we'd probably get complimentary peanuts to boot. While we're at it we should also probably get a jet ski and a lakeside cottage. My family discussed dreaming big this weekend, can you tell??

When we set off on Friday morning (just an hour after I got off work) we didn't really know why we were going to drive 22 hours round trip for 36 hours at a camp we'd never been to before. It ended up that we sang for 3 families who homeschool during the day in a few sessions. This was a challeng because they brought their children, a fact we only recognized about an hour before they were to arrive. This was interesting because always before we had watched mom and dad talk about how they raised us so that we could sing (scary really...we didn't know there was a system...). Now all of the sudden Casey and I were doing the teaching...and not just to the well meaning parents, Oh NO! we were teaching the guinea pigs themselves....their kids.

Needless to say we spent an amusing afternoon, especially since 5 of the kids were boys between the ages of 10 and 12. We covered the essentials of voice exploration, rounds, and partner songs, as well as jumping jacks and telephone. Thank goodness that we kids make a good team.

That night we sang for a good crowd of long time camp attenders and some staff. It was an enjoyable although long and hot concert (no AC). About half way through it though I realized that I was not up there singing just for "those people" out there. The songs and their lyrics started hitting ME in the forhead just as hard as I wanted them to hit the audience. As the family shared testimonies the obvious theme of trusting God through change, especially when we feel weak became incredibly apparent. ...and of course, just what I needed to hear. On top of the blessing this weekend was for me, we received very positive feedback and lots of greatful thanks. Also invitations to Dallas and Michigan...just in case we have extra time during the rest of the summer. :)

Now that we're home I have 72 hours to get things ready again and enjoy some time with my friends, some of whom have been over seas for the better part of this month. Guess I'd better go get some sleep. See y'all later.

22,998

So Dennis Dare, my adopted family member moved in with my family for the next 6 weeks or so until his job moves him to St. Louis. Along with him comes his play station 2 (I'll take any of y'all on at tetris), Bryer's chocolate ice cream, and a healthy supply of Dennis' breakfast food which he has eaten every morning for the past ten years: diet coke and a reese's cups. He wore a shirt yesterday with a hershey's bar on it and the phrase "unconditional love." That made me a happy girl. So has having him around.

Technology hasn't treated me very well lately. After bugging my eyes out on tetris a few nights ago I for some reason got on the computer to order a whole bunch of photos from Walmart online. It too me forever to get it all going, then I pushed "check out" and it put up a projected upload time of 22,998 min and 7 seconds.

I believe from now on I'll just make the drive.

Today the car broke down in Target and leaked a healthy amount of fluid to the pavement and smoked enough that Casey jumped from the car, sure that it was going to blow up. It's still in one piece and still in the shop (for the second time this week)

Tonight I work, and tomorrow morning early we head for 3 days in Minnesota where the family is going to sing. We have been practicing a lot lately since it's been a while and our voices have changed. Taking coaching from two of the most musical people I know, trying to match up with my musical genius of a sister, and surviving TJ's well placed funnies (some ants toot!) has made practice sessions interesting and so much like our family. Wow. That's all I can say. Getting to re-learn songs and lessons that I've been singing since I was 7 is really a fun thing. Our favorite of the pieces we will close with on our concert.

Lord make us instruments of your peace
where there is hatred let your love increase
Lord make us instruments of your peace
Walls of pride and prejudice shall cease
When we are your instruments of peace

That's what we are praying into our own family and the lives of the families we will touch this weekend. Well, I have to go...duty calls. Blessings on you all, hold down the fort, can't wait to see you! Blessings~

Things I've learned recently

~Paul's Confectionary (across the street from Paul's putting place) has the biggest chocolate milkshakes in town (and some of the greasiest food)
~There are muscles on the underside of your chin. If you would like to feel them go skiing and crash a few times
~Every adventure starts with a change, and every adventurer must stare fear in the face and walk through it.
~Puppy dogs are cutest when they are wet and standing in the rain outside the door
~Everyone has days when things seem impossible and drama is so high that it's tough to see reality
~Sticking with people who need help doesn't get any easier, but it also doesn't fail to be increasingly rewarding
~Music is one of God's greatest gifts...good for putting you to sleep or hyping you up, for teaching you a lesson or giving you something to jam to. I love it.
~God is good and His grace is unfailing

Blessings~

wong pants, wong pants, I'm a wong pants man!

Ok...let's see.

Basically my life goes on as normal...I'm working some, although this week is different because I'm taking a class for all of the DMH employees. Kind of a cross between self help books, meditaions, and a motivational speaker...all with a presenter who eerily resembles Josh McDowell. Yeah...wierd. Actually, there is some good truth being said I think...unfortunately I have a hard time deliniating between that and New Age backdrops. And as we learned in bible class this year, evil isn't separate from truth, it is twisted truth. Or as my dad says, evil often comes packaged with truth. This is probably good for me to have to sort through and learn what to accept and what to leave. Very interesting...prayers welcome.

My cousin Gabe was here for two days en route to Florida where he's gonna work at Disney. He is one fun guy, obsessed with Homestarrunner and an amazing sponge for random information. He gave us a tour of washington DC through our pictures...that was fun...and we went running and he had to laugh at the amount of humidity. Albuquerque doesn't have so much of that.

Since Gabe was so much like a bunch of my other friends we had the Faith gang over last night to give him something to do and sat and talked, ate food, played tiddly winks with pistachio kernales....kernels....kernles...those one things...., watched Ryan and Matt try and shoot and catch a pingpong ball with their mouths (grosser than gross), played cards, and watched the Muppets. Oh...and found some new favorite quotes...I realized last night that this too has to do with pants, as so many of our jokes seem to. ("wewh, dat's juss simpwy not twuu!") So much fun! I've missed you guys tremendously. Frisbee next time!

I think that about raps up my week so far...oh, except for I learned the definition of rain which I must share with you....

Rain-
1. water falling to earth in drops larger than .5 mm (0.02 in) that have been condensed from the moisture in the atmosphere

....I'll leave you with only that definition...it's the funniest...please adopt the mental picture of someone in australia standing in the rain with a .02 inch stick measuring drops as they fall. "Nope, that one's not legit...must just be mist..."

short and sweet (and not too many cool descriptions)

wow...what a week...I'll hit the highlights

did the rummage sale, and it went pretty well I think. To be honest I slept through most of it, yet another thing to prove that my sister rocks my world.

Had dinner with Joni...Ruby Tuesday's isn't open yet

Watched more fire works last night...I've decided that Mt. Zion easily tops Decatur

Heather Cos broke her wrist or arm or something close in there and has been through two surgeries...I sent Lloyd, my get well penguin, to stay for a few days...sure hope he behaves

A bunch of my friends were in London for the terrorist attacks...crazy, but none of them were hurt

Tonight we had a hymn sing at church...very high on the good times scale

Then I went to walmart...plummet on the above mentioned

Then I saw a rockin' sunset...spike to above original level

And right now I'm eating rice and soy sauce...got to love it.

All in all I'm bushed but loving the summer and packing as much in as I can. That about sums it up. Hope to see you all soon...all 2 of you. Ahh well, someday this "journal" will be for my benefit, not yours. Well, I'm off to bed...see ya later.

we rummaged that sale

Today and yesterday we spent a lot of time at the Dare's house setting up a garage sale for Saturday. It was pretty fun...Heather Cos came over and helped Casey and I out. We are ready for the huddled masses that have been yearning for the junk that's been in that garage for 20 years. Bring it on all you people...we're ready! :)

If any of you have a hankering for oddities and a little extra cash, come on over!

Well, I'm off to work...wish me luck

"it's a little bitty tiny one!"

For those of you who don't know, my sister is amazing. And as such, she has already documented, in much better grammarical structure than I ever could, our family vacation in all it's glory. ...and, chances are, most of you have already read it. However, I feel compelled to write something here since it was pretty cool.

hahaha....and MY enter key works...take that! :)

Umm...I got off my shift at the hospital at 6:30 and the family pulled out of the driveway around 10...just enough time to get to the deep sleep, not enough time to sleep off my exaustion. Oh well, I surrendered myself to the back seat and tried, unvictoriously, to get some shut eye. We arrived in Ohio about 5 and had an AWESOME night at the house of our good friends, the Yurchaks, who we haven't seen in 2 years. We sayed up till 4, made torches with spray deodorant and matches, raided the kitchen for icecream, made movies, laughed, cried...didn't sleep. We pulled reluctantly out of the driveway at 7, wishing we could stay to enjoy another day of the irreplaceable joy that is found in old friends. Luckily that morning I was able to sleep about an hour in the car. hehehe...fun times.

Williamsburg was tough to break into, but so cool in the end. My favorite things were the afternoon presentations of guys dressed in the period clothing, one as Patrick Henry and one as Thomas Jefferson. They were amazing, they knew so much, and had everything in their head, even the language of the day and the answers to politically slanted questions that they were asked. I learned a lot about early dreams for the country and it was amazing to see how their views on issues of their day corresponded with the same issues we have now. I wish that their logic and principles would be used a bit more in the current day. We saw DC in 6 hours...fun, but never do that. We are crazy and our feet prove it. YIKES! It was pretty neat to see all the great monuments right before the 4th of July. That's good stuff. We also spent a day on the beach and one in a water park which was great fun for all of us, but especially TJ...he had endured enough educational "adventures" for one week, poor kid. :)

along the way I learned a few things. First, digital cameras do things to people. All the sudden my fear is not taking too few pictures, it's having the time to get all the ones I want. I returned with 234 pictures of the week and 3 sets of dead batteries. Another thing I learned is that I have an obcession with barns. Not the kind you would want to put things in...the old kind that have peeling paint and a whole bunch of hay in front of them, and a sagging roof, and a cow or two out front. I have no idea where this came from but Pennsylvania has the best ones. I took many pictures. I also learned that I stink at shuffleboard, but that wasn't really a surprise.

Anyway, now we're back, and after a day of recovery and a great night of mt. zion fire works last night I am more than ready to enjoy the day and celebrate the great things our country stands for. I love fireworks...especially the weeping willow ones that boom really loud. I like the ones you can feel. I like the shimering, popping, crackling sounds. I like the celebration of victory...not in absence of trouble and conflict but in spite of it. So enjoy...light those sparklers and wave them...sing the national anthem with gusto...and praise God for preserving this nation and what it stands for.

and remember: the best fireworks are the "little bitty tiny ones!!" :)
Blessings and peace-

a message for me from me

Just a quick check in...I very well may not see you all for a while...on thursday morning we head for the east coast to see Williamsburg and Washington DC. Very excited about that...please pray for strength as I still haven't caught up on all my sleep. I will miss you, e-mail me a little, OK?

For those of you who feel like you are fighting an uphill battle lately, be encouraged by these verses that I was given this morning. Paul understood the fact that our walk as Christians was not meant to be a temporary battle followed by a "good streak"...we are soldiers for Christ fighting not just battles but a war. My own battles have been overwhelming lately, leaving me confused, frustrated, confronted with truths about myself (always the hardest to hear), and worn out. But this is the Christian's job description...the conflict that is...my prayer for myself is that I learn to rid my mind of the frustration and allow myself to face trouble with lifted spirits. I know that my attonement is made and working...it is not just a future promise. As you continue to follow Him, take heart in his promise to never forsake us when we fail. Blessings on you all.

"You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus...Endure hardship wiht us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer...Remember Jesus, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. Therefore I endure every hardship for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory. Here is a trustworthy saying:

'If we died with him, we will also live with him
If we endure, we will also reign with him
if we disown him, he will disown us
if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself'"

2 Tim. 2:1-13

Boy...maybe I'd better send this again...

read it if you dare...

Hey y'all...so, I'm back

Before I start I must write a disclaimer...any lack of coherancy in the following is not my fault. I've just made it back from a very long but awesome week of World Changers mission in East St. Louis. We headed out on Saturday and just returned this morning and man, I feel like I got hit by a truck.

This is a super cool week, if any of you ever get the chance, go...it's amazing. Not only do you get the regular christian camp experience with a good speaker and worship times, but you get an awesome chance to serve. As you know, east st. louis isn't exactly the greatest neighborhood, but throw 220+ youth in there with about 40 adults and a few construction people who know what their doing and you never know what you might come up with. We had 12 different houses in the area getting new siding, paint jobs, porches, windows, roofs, and so much more. It was great.

When I got there I was assigned to the "challenge house"...the one with the most work needed and the oldest kids put on the crews. Our team of 20 or so worked very long days all 5 days to complete our task for the sweetest home owner you could ever meet. Mrs. Moblie was a 78 year old woman with a leak over her stove, no AC, 7 layers of shingles on her decaying roof, and a heart of gold. We took one look at her house and were ready to go.

Determined to conquer my fear of heights to some degree I climbed to the top of the steepest pitched roof I've ever imagined and sat on the ridge all morning hacking away at old shingles to get to the "skeleton" of the roof. Scary, but I so didn't die! Actually, after you got used to it, being up there was a lot of fun. We proceeded over the next 4 days to put up plywood, tar paper, and shingles. I learned a lot...even how to weild a nail gun!! (yeah, scary, I know....try not to run from the room in terror, I only killed like 3 people) :) In the midst of that whole project, people were tearing down and re-constructing her porch, replacing all her windows, and covering her walls with new siding. I came back from the work site covered in roof soot every day...black is a good color for me I think...and yesterday I had some quality time with tar caulking, the remains of which are on my elbows still, even after my half hour battle with paint thinner and goo gone. I decided that being grungy is awesome...our society doesn't allow enough of it!!

Our crew was amazing. They were fun and hard working...I met a girl named Hannah who rocks my world...she was loud and silly and a great worker, we clicked almost instantly and kept eachother going all week. Made lots of other friends...actually, one of our supervisors could have been Ryan Jackson's twin, not as much in looks but in personality. That was fun...

We worked really hard all week, but by Thursday night the whole porch still had to be sided and finished, the porch needed a roof, and the siding wasn't complete on the house. The roof also needed to be capped and the whole place cleaned up. As we circled up to pray and close the day our crew chief shared some more needs. Mrs. Moblie desperately needed a new ceiling fan and light fixtures for her porch and blinds for her windows, but World Changers couldn't fund it. Once again our crew pitched in and collected enough money to do all of it. By God's grace, a lot of sweat, and the help of other crews cheifs as they finished thier houses, we were able to put in a 13 hour work day on Friday and finish the job. Mrs. Moblie's appreciation made it all worth it. She has so little...being able to help her was awesome. We also learned that she was a Christian, which makes the effort even sweeter.

On top of all the great work that happened I really did have a spritually refreshing week as well. From long talks with a couple of the girls to good worship to some spiritual "re-alignment" it was a fantastic week. God "hit the nail on the head" with me a few times early on in the week and I was forced to wake up a little bit and realize what was going on inside me. I was challenged to submit, to focus my mindset on daily mission work, and to give more of myself to whole heartedly seek God...not just in the tough times, not just when I want something...at all points and for every reason. Why in my pig headded independence do I forget that I am smaller than a pin-point? Only He can take my world that has seemed so out of control lately and make sense of it all...and He wants to do it face to face with me, not at a distance.

I realize that all of the above probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense...I just tried to re-read it and I can' t make heads or tails of what it says. Guess it's time to leave you. Hope everyone's doing well...more later...blessings

The splendor of the king
clothed in majesty
let all the earth rejoice
let all the earth rejoice

he wraps himself in light
and darkness tries to hide
and trembles at his voice
and trembles at his voice

how great is our God

jet lagged? ...all nightered? ...confused as normal?

Well good morning! How's everyone doing? Gee...it's pretty dark outside...and doesn't it usually storm in the evenings here? OH man, maybe today was when the eclipse was supposed to happen. Well, I guess I just got home too late last night. ...no wait, that was this morning! morning? afternoon? lunchtime? midnight?

Welcome to "summer Morgan"--the person I am destined to be for the rest of the season. Then again, I did survive back to back night shifts...so that's something! No actually, the last 48 hours have been craziness but great to...let me tell you about it all.

Wednesday night was hard because I just wasn't used to it, but we had a great time. The floor was SUPER busy...and frankly I like it that way...there's always something to do. You would be surprised about how much...in fact, we really don't let these people sleep! I asked an RN about it the other night and he just laughed...."no way, this isn't the Holiday Inn...we're on a schedule here!!" never mind that people are sick and just need rest, never mind that normal people don't enjoy giving shots at 3:30 am...vitals every 4 hours! empty urine at 11 and 5! admit patients at all times! draw blood at 3! and get those EKG's (really annoying though painless) started by 4:30! Oh, and could you get 51 bed 2 up at 5am to be weighed? I need to ask a doctor somewhere about whether it's healthy...seems a little crazy to me. It's funny all you hear though as patients are coming out of sleep and to see them just stick their arm up for blood pressure and open thier mouths when you walk in the room...they know the drill!

I'm learning a whole ton...how to measure intake and outtake and chart it carefully, how to assist patients into and out of bed, how to give EKG's, how to keep the nurses happy, how to build up a repore with the patients, how to ease frustration and fear, and to always ask a lot of questions. We've encountered a few fiesty patients (always those little 65 lb old ladies who survived the depression...they are firey!)...that's been interesting to handle but I'm learning a lot by watching my supervisors there.

There are boring times, there are times when you have to do three things at once, but all in all things are pretty laid back. Sometime around about 3 last night I was getting someone water when I realized that I was really enjoying myself...it was great. Sure, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, but for now it's the closest I can get to what I want to do...I am so excited. So, keep praying for energy and that I don't go show up to church at 4 in the afternoon some day. My clock is so messed up...it's funny :)

Tomorrow I head for St. Louis for a missions trip there...I am so excited to go work on some roofs or something cool, and have some time for evangelism and fellowship in the evenings. Again pray for energy!

much love to you all as you celebrate this Christmas season...I'll see you at the fireworks!

...a few of my favorite things

I like monicals pizza
and making cookies with my sis
and grinding brown sugar into her hair
and getting flour ground into mine

I like long runs with plenty of time to stretch out, think, and pray
and reading a scary novel in the middle of the afternoon
and taking time to sort through photos of the past month
and writing thank you notes (yes, still)

I like having a brother that still hugs me goodnight of his own free will
and getting to spend a night just with the kids
and watching little league baseball(even though I can't spell it)
and staying up late even though I have to get up early

I like long hot days, and sitting on the deck in the cool after them
and grilling out
and the promise that with all this humidity it will have to storm soon
and the time to digest a little bit more of CS Lewis several times this week

Sure, I don't like 12 hour shifts
and I'm not too keen on anchovies
and I might like a 36 hour day
and registering for college is WIERD
and saying goodbye to friends is tough

...but all in all, I've got it pretty good

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit." Romans 15:13