"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot
...it's a quote I found on her Facebook wall that speaks volumes not just to her life but to her death. Betsy Smith is with her savior. There's nothing to say at this point...no words can express the feelings.
In this tough time I pray for faith like Job to say: "The Lord gives and the Lord has taken away...BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD" Our God is awesome, but it is easy to forget in times like this. I choose to praise you Lord for reminding me that your sovereignty is so much bigger than any "control" that I feel like I posess or deserve. Forgive me for my failure recognize your authority until something like this happens.
I'm praying, praying hard...and trusting God to bring this family back together soon.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Amen
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Alive and Kicking....
Ok...so I don't have long (try not to make that sigh of relief audible...) but I wanted to check in and let you know about my awesome weekend. Easter is so cool, and I had a great time with everyone.
Thursday afternoon I spent some time at Mrs. Pinkley's. Her husband died in October, and after the initial rush of helpful people, I think she's a bit lonely. So mom and I kept her company for a bit and then invited her to have Easter with us. She is such a dear.
We got in a great game of Frisbee Friday afternoon...ended by some rocking Uno and a nacho cheese war with Matt...hehe...never a dull moment. It was a BEAUTIFUL weekend for the most part, although we had some very brief but severe storms as well. When I came home from work Thursday night there was a huge lightning storm...no rain...just electricity lighting up the whole world in an eerie gray light. It was incredible...I sat on the deck into the wee hours of the morning marveling at the power of God as shown in creation...that is until the tornado sirens drove me indoors.
Friday night was our good friday service at riverside. This type of service, very solemn and reflective was different for this congregation...but I love a dark service to reflect on the death before the joy of ressurection morning. How can we appreciate the joy fully without first contemplating the death?? Later that evening, we experienced a new game at Walmart...my super competitive friends and I spent the better part of 2 hours running around and looking for obscure items...ask if you want the details...it was awesome fun! We enjoyed a good girls morning on Saturday at a shower for Andrea Kneezel...it was wonderfully fun. She is amazing. Sunday was good as always...great service, amazing food at Kneezels, and time to hang with my college buddies as well as several additions from Cedarville. I also got to do an egg hunt for the first time since I was in like junior high. Why did we let that tradition go?
In short...I'm still here...still alive and kicking. But more than that, I've experienced a renewal of the promise for EVERLASTING life. That's a term I've grown up with...one that I have memorized, quoted, and glued to my forehead since I was a kid. And sure enough...I've lost it's meaning somewhere in the mix. That's why I love Easter so much. It's a powerful reminder of the most basic principles of our faith...it's a joy fest, the most tangible expression of perfect love, and a chance to praise God for his victory over sin and death.
Thursday afternoon I spent some time at Mrs. Pinkley's. Her husband died in October, and after the initial rush of helpful people, I think she's a bit lonely. So mom and I kept her company for a bit and then invited her to have Easter with us. She is such a dear.
We got in a great game of Frisbee Friday afternoon...ended by some rocking Uno and a nacho cheese war with Matt...hehe...never a dull moment. It was a BEAUTIFUL weekend for the most part, although we had some very brief but severe storms as well. When I came home from work Thursday night there was a huge lightning storm...no rain...just electricity lighting up the whole world in an eerie gray light. It was incredible...I sat on the deck into the wee hours of the morning marveling at the power of God as shown in creation...that is until the tornado sirens drove me indoors.
Friday night was our good friday service at riverside. This type of service, very solemn and reflective was different for this congregation...but I love a dark service to reflect on the death before the joy of ressurection morning. How can we appreciate the joy fully without first contemplating the death?? Later that evening, we experienced a new game at Walmart...my super competitive friends and I spent the better part of 2 hours running around and looking for obscure items...ask if you want the details...it was awesome fun! We enjoyed a good girls morning on Saturday at a shower for Andrea Kneezel...it was wonderfully fun. She is amazing. Sunday was good as always...great service, amazing food at Kneezels, and time to hang with my college buddies as well as several additions from Cedarville. I also got to do an egg hunt for the first time since I was in like junior high. Why did we let that tradition go?
In short...I'm still here...still alive and kicking. But more than that, I've experienced a renewal of the promise for EVERLASTING life. That's a term I've grown up with...one that I have memorized, quoted, and glued to my forehead since I was a kid. And sure enough...I've lost it's meaning somewhere in the mix. That's why I love Easter so much. It's a powerful reminder of the most basic principles of our faith...it's a joy fest, the most tangible expression of perfect love, and a chance to praise God for his victory over sin and death.
Christ the Lord is Risen Today, Alleluiah
Sons of men and angels say "Alleluiah"
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluiah
Sing ye heavens and earth reply, Alleluiah
Lives again our glorious king, alleluiah
Where oh death is now thy sting? Alleluiah!
Once he died our souls to save Alleluiah
Where's thy victory oh grave? Alleluiah!
Soar we now where christ has lead, Alleluiah
Following our exaulted head, Alleluiah
Made like Him, like Him we rise Alleluiah
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, alleluiah!!!
Today campus is alive with spring energy, the trees are flowering white and purple, and the whole place is covered with lush green grass. A little reflection, a lasting reminder of the blessing and gift of life!! I'm off to class...have a good one...
Friday, April 07, 2006
head in the clouds...(and I don't mean ditzy)
Hi all,
Holy cow, it's April, it's Friday, it's sunny, Easter is a week away, and I've got nothing to do for an hour...sounds like a great time to post!
Coming back from spring break has been hard but good...I can hardly believe how fast time is starting to fly. It has been so easy to be apathetic recently, with beautiful weather coming and fun stuff happening on campus. But I must focus!! So much stuff staring me in the face to do in the next five weeks. Two big research papers are underway, and I'm slowly climbing through source after source hoping that I'll come up with some good arguments. We present for our main research project to a board and group of students on April 28th...aka...I'd better get a good idea of what this thing is really gonna read like ASAP. Our Bio lab is picking up again...papers are done but now we're ready to memorize a huge number of bones and muscles...good stuff...applicable stuff...now I just have to convince my brain cells to keep absorbing for a little while longer! I'm also really enjoying my vocal jazz group...we've got a concert coming up and we're starting to make good sounds. I have learned so much from the experience and love the girls I'm singing with too!
We've had some nasty weather around here lately, which is good because I love thunderstorms but bad because tornados are not helpful people around here...there's been storms all over the country so keep those people in your prayers. We take the "little things" like a roof and cars with no dents for granted.
Ryan and Heather Jackson are now officially in a new house...I'm so excited for them. We have put in a lot of work re-painting and getting everything moved. Soon the re-modeling will be finished and hopefully some of the chaos will subside. I'm also hoping that then they will get to rest for a while...they work so hard to keep us all motivated and encouraged.
Let's see...what else? Oh...Intervarsity hosted a great outreach night the other night called "Stump the Chump." It was basically a chance for a non-threatening discussion environment. We inivted kids to drop questions about christianity in a box all week long, and then come for food and a discussion. Our two insanely smart "chumps" (one is a history buff, the other working on his doctorate in astrophysics) fielded questions about everything from predestination to grace versus justice. We had about 15 kids there that I had never seen before, many of whom I think were challenged a little by what was said. I continute to pray that God will take the seeds sown and cause them to grow. I also pray that we, his instruments, would be effective in reflecting a positive image of Christ on campus. Last night, one of the girls who I met at Stump the Chump showed up for prayer. I have no clue where she stands spiritually, but when we paired off I went over to pray with her and get to know her a little better. Turns out that a good friend of hers from high school had been killed in a car wreck this week. She openly shared her heart...the pain that no one can understand, the fact that the even rocked her world even though she didn't know the girl super well, the inspirational figure that this girl and her family had been. It was an awesome time of sharing, and I hope that she found even a little comfort within our group. I hope that she comes back. Please pray for her...I think God may have brought her across our path at a critical moment. Lord use me....
I found a quote about prayer that I thought was pretty good. The author is heading up a prayer team for the release of "The DaVinci Code" this summer (by the way, another great discussion starter...) I thought his words were pretty good...
"Prayer always works. (It probably won’t surprise you to discover that the head of a prayer ministry believes that.) Of course, a skeptic would reasonably counter my claim – planes crash, patients die, ill-prepared students still flunk. And while it’s hard to prove the effects of prayer on others, there’s one person on whom prayer always works…the person doing the praying. Prayer gets us in the right frame of mind. It puts things in perspective. Most importantly, it takes our struggles and doubts and worries out of our frustrated, feeble hands, and puts them in their proper place – in God’s tender, resilient and purposeful hands."
I'm really excited because I get to be on the IV leadership team next semester. A whole bunch of people from our chapter are going up to Wisconsin right after school gets out for a week of training camp with some other IV teams. I'm getting really excited about this and praying that what I experience up there will both equip me to serve here and draw the people in our group closer to each other. We are going to need all the three, four, and 15 cord strands we can get!
Still working at the hospital occasionally, still singing in church and school choir, still loving being close to my family (yeah, it gets frustrating at times, but much more often its so great to be in on their daily lives). Easter (my favorite holiday of all time) is only 8 days away...praise the Lord!!
The heavens declare you are God
And the Mountains rejoice
The oceans cry halleluiah
As we workship you Lord!!!
Holy cow, it's April, it's Friday, it's sunny, Easter is a week away, and I've got nothing to do for an hour...sounds like a great time to post!
Coming back from spring break has been hard but good...I can hardly believe how fast time is starting to fly. It has been so easy to be apathetic recently, with beautiful weather coming and fun stuff happening on campus. But I must focus!! So much stuff staring me in the face to do in the next five weeks. Two big research papers are underway, and I'm slowly climbing through source after source hoping that I'll come up with some good arguments. We present for our main research project to a board and group of students on April 28th...aka...I'd better get a good idea of what this thing is really gonna read like ASAP. Our Bio lab is picking up again...papers are done but now we're ready to memorize a huge number of bones and muscles...good stuff...applicable stuff...now I just have to convince my brain cells to keep absorbing for a little while longer! I'm also really enjoying my vocal jazz group...we've got a concert coming up and we're starting to make good sounds. I have learned so much from the experience and love the girls I'm singing with too!
We've had some nasty weather around here lately, which is good because I love thunderstorms but bad because tornados are not helpful people around here...there's been storms all over the country so keep those people in your prayers. We take the "little things" like a roof and cars with no dents for granted.
Ryan and Heather Jackson are now officially in a new house...I'm so excited for them. We have put in a lot of work re-painting and getting everything moved. Soon the re-modeling will be finished and hopefully some of the chaos will subside. I'm also hoping that then they will get to rest for a while...they work so hard to keep us all motivated and encouraged.
Let's see...what else? Oh...Intervarsity hosted a great outreach night the other night called "Stump the Chump." It was basically a chance for a non-threatening discussion environment. We inivted kids to drop questions about christianity in a box all week long, and then come for food and a discussion. Our two insanely smart "chumps" (one is a history buff, the other working on his doctorate in astrophysics) fielded questions about everything from predestination to grace versus justice. We had about 15 kids there that I had never seen before, many of whom I think were challenged a little by what was said. I continute to pray that God will take the seeds sown and cause them to grow. I also pray that we, his instruments, would be effective in reflecting a positive image of Christ on campus. Last night, one of the girls who I met at Stump the Chump showed up for prayer. I have no clue where she stands spiritually, but when we paired off I went over to pray with her and get to know her a little better. Turns out that a good friend of hers from high school had been killed in a car wreck this week. She openly shared her heart...the pain that no one can understand, the fact that the even rocked her world even though she didn't know the girl super well, the inspirational figure that this girl and her family had been. It was an awesome time of sharing, and I hope that she found even a little comfort within our group. I hope that she comes back. Please pray for her...I think God may have brought her across our path at a critical moment. Lord use me....
I found a quote about prayer that I thought was pretty good. The author is heading up a prayer team for the release of "The DaVinci Code" this summer (by the way, another great discussion starter...) I thought his words were pretty good...
"Prayer always works. (It probably won’t surprise you to discover that the head of a prayer ministry believes that.) Of course, a skeptic would reasonably counter my claim – planes crash, patients die, ill-prepared students still flunk. And while it’s hard to prove the effects of prayer on others, there’s one person on whom prayer always works…the person doing the praying. Prayer gets us in the right frame of mind. It puts things in perspective. Most importantly, it takes our struggles and doubts and worries out of our frustrated, feeble hands, and puts them in their proper place – in God’s tender, resilient and purposeful hands."
I'm really excited because I get to be on the IV leadership team next semester. A whole bunch of people from our chapter are going up to Wisconsin right after school gets out for a week of training camp with some other IV teams. I'm getting really excited about this and praying that what I experience up there will both equip me to serve here and draw the people in our group closer to each other. We are going to need all the three, four, and 15 cord strands we can get!
Still working at the hospital occasionally, still singing in church and school choir, still loving being close to my family (yeah, it gets frustrating at times, but much more often its so great to be in on their daily lives). Easter (my favorite holiday of all time) is only 8 days away...praise the Lord!!
The heavens declare you are GodAnd the Mountains rejoice
The oceans cry halleluiah
As we workship you Lord!!!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Beware the Ides of March~
I still don't know what an Ide is, but I thought you should be warned...
Greetings and salutations all,
I'm 3 days away from spring break and holding out quite well actually (we'll see how I feel about it after my tests on Friday). I had a bunch of papers due this week originally, but they got postponed. This means that I'll be writing papers all break, but at least I'm breathing normally this week. Good enough....
I spent a lot of last week hanging out with people who were home on spring break...Jacks and Andrew were back in town...it's always great to let that trio re-unite and hash things out thouroughly. We had a great talk about everything from churches to the love lives of all the people we know. Great talk, good coffee, amazing friends...what more could I ask for?
Friday night I had a clash of my worlds...had a ton of people over for ice cream and fun...some MU people, some high school buddies, even a few church friends....it was kinda fun to introduce them to each other and then make them have fun. :) No, actually we had a blast...even when the basement flooded and put about 7 of us in our bare feet mopping up water and moving furniture. Fun times.
Sat. AM the Costerisans made a waffle breakfast for a bunch of the college kids...that was a great time of relaxation. Some of the MU girls sang in church on Sunday too...that's something I'd definitely like to do again, we had a blast. After church some of us went to stuff ourselves with Chinese food at Sakura. Believe it or not, squid is not too bad. We also had a massive spit wad war. I saw a quote this week that said, "you can only be young once, but immaturity lasts for a lifetime" ...hehe
Monday was my 19th birthday...crazy to think I could possibly be that old!! I had lunch with the girl who sits next to me in choir since we are birthday twins. Got a lot of cool stuff (including a frisbee, clothes, a CD, and a cigar...) and had mom's amazing peanut butter ice cream pie. Who needs a cake? I thought my birthday was done but at 11:15 my doorbell rang and my friends from IV were there and ready to kidnap me. They whisked me away to steak N shake, despite the fact that I was in my PJ's. They had compiled a binder of embarassing photos, birthday quotes, things people had said about me, etc. They also made me cards and etc...it was so sweet! Thanks guys!
Last night I went to a Ben Folds concert here at MU...that was pretty amazing. He is a GREAT musician...so talented, but unpolished and fun and relaxed. His lyrics are interesting, his style is so broad, and his voice is great. But man, I had trouble getting past his language and the way he flippantly used the name of Christ. One of his songs must have been submitted in a competition to see how many cuss words would fit in one song. Unfortunately that's the song he had the audience sing along to. As my classmates and hundreds of others lifted their voices I was greatly saddened. So I'm thankful for the musical element but reminded once again of how easily the devil takes the good in this life (like music) and twists it all around. hmmm....
My birthday got an unexpected extension today when I got to have breakfast with Laura Cos...always a treat and a half dearest! Anyhoo, much fun and celebration...now back to real life and tests and papers! That's all for now, gonna head out and hit those books.
Blessings on you all...keep on keeping on, and keep an eye out for those Ides...
Greetings and salutations all,
I'm 3 days away from spring break and holding out quite well actually (we'll see how I feel about it after my tests on Friday). I had a bunch of papers due this week originally, but they got postponed. This means that I'll be writing papers all break, but at least I'm breathing normally this week. Good enough....
I spent a lot of last week hanging out with people who were home on spring break...Jacks and Andrew were back in town...it's always great to let that trio re-unite and hash things out thouroughly. We had a great talk about everything from churches to the love lives of all the people we know. Great talk, good coffee, amazing friends...what more could I ask for?
Friday night I had a clash of my worlds...had a ton of people over for ice cream and fun...some MU people, some high school buddies, even a few church friends....it was kinda fun to introduce them to each other and then make them have fun. :) No, actually we had a blast...even when the basement flooded and put about 7 of us in our bare feet mopping up water and moving furniture. Fun times.
Sat. AM the Costerisans made a waffle breakfast for a bunch of the college kids...that was a great time of relaxation. Some of the MU girls sang in church on Sunday too...that's something I'd definitely like to do again, we had a blast. After church some of us went to stuff ourselves with Chinese food at Sakura. Believe it or not, squid is not too bad. We also had a massive spit wad war. I saw a quote this week that said, "you can only be young once, but immaturity lasts for a lifetime" ...hehe
Monday was my 19th birthday...crazy to think I could possibly be that old!! I had lunch with the girl who sits next to me in choir since we are birthday twins. Got a lot of cool stuff (including a frisbee, clothes, a CD, and a cigar...) and had mom's amazing peanut butter ice cream pie. Who needs a cake? I thought my birthday was done but at 11:15 my doorbell rang and my friends from IV were there and ready to kidnap me. They whisked me away to steak N shake, despite the fact that I was in my PJ's. They had compiled a binder of embarassing photos, birthday quotes, things people had said about me, etc. They also made me cards and etc...it was so sweet! Thanks guys!
Last night I went to a Ben Folds concert here at MU...that was pretty amazing. He is a GREAT musician...so talented, but unpolished and fun and relaxed. His lyrics are interesting, his style is so broad, and his voice is great. But man, I had trouble getting past his language and the way he flippantly used the name of Christ. One of his songs must have been submitted in a competition to see how many cuss words would fit in one song. Unfortunately that's the song he had the audience sing along to. As my classmates and hundreds of others lifted their voices I was greatly saddened. So I'm thankful for the musical element but reminded once again of how easily the devil takes the good in this life (like music) and twists it all around. hmmm....
My birthday got an unexpected extension today when I got to have breakfast with Laura Cos...always a treat and a half dearest! Anyhoo, much fun and celebration...now back to real life and tests and papers! That's all for now, gonna head out and hit those books.
Blessings on you all...keep on keeping on, and keep an eye out for those Ides...
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
seeking...
you are the potter, I am the clay
mold me and make me...this is what I pray
Change my heart oh God
Make it ever true...
Change my heart oh God
may I be like you
"Then you will call to me, and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"
Jeremiah 29:12-13
mold me and make me...this is what I pray
Change my heart oh God
Make it ever true...
Change my heart oh God
may I be like you
"Then you will call to me, and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"
Jeremiah 29:12-13
Monday, February 27, 2006
Psssst........hey!!....over here!
we've got to whisper for a while...cause you know as well as I do that it's perfectly illegal to do anything for yourself while you're in college...sorry it's taken us so long to rendevous...this college thing is sucking me in like so many dust bunnies in a vacuume cleaner...
I considered about appologizing ahead of time for the length that is about to insue, but while reading a journal entry of Andrew Peterson's the other day (which itself was quite lengthy), I realized that that is not needed. Read if you want...don't if you've got something better to do, but in the meantime I'm going to try to document the highs and lows of my last few weeks.
School is school...going fine but very time consuming. I just made it through my first round of tests which feels good...but midterms are also aproaching with scary movie music begining to sound in the distance. Our bio labs have been FACINATING of recent weeks...we're studying basically every phylum in the universe...and memorizing them all for my test thursday Lord willing...it has been great to finally learn to use microscopes and get a handle on such a large knowledge base.
I've been getting really involved with some of the IV kids recently...going to prayer in the evenings almost every night ( a great time of reflection on the day and supporting each other), going to large group meetings when I can, and attending training sessions for next year's leadership team, which I hope to be a part of. This has been really good for me...a great chance for being challenged and staying accountable.
This past weekend was vocal jazz fest at MU, when a bunch of high school jazz groups came to perform and spent a half hour with a clinician for some tips. I helped chaperone a group around for a while and then my jazz group sang at the end of the day. It was fun...and a great experience for our young group of singers. May I say that kirkland stage feels huge when there are only 9 of you and the microphones up there...
Had some of my music buddies over to the house the other night for games and a movie...that was a blast. I think it scared a few of them to knock on the door and have "DR HOLMES" answer. :) hehe...it really does crack me up some times to be the daughter of my dad...I hope he doesn't mind having his students in his refrigerator one minute and in his class the next.
Speaking of music, next Saturday we'll be performing a major work...a requiem by Verdi with full orchestra and soloists from Chicago. Composers for hundreds of years have been using the same texts to set their works to...a requiem is just a specific set of latin texts which many different composers set their own music to. Most of the work is spent singing about "Dies Irae"...the day of judgement. The requiem was typically a funeral mass, and in some lights you could see this concert as and hour and 15 min of singing about hell fire and brimstone in Latin...but if you could hear these choirs...the HUGE sound, the orchestra, and the pleading texts "Deliver me, O Lord, from eternal death, on that fearful day when the heavens are moved and the earth when thou shalt come to judge the world through fire. Rest eternal grant your children, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine on them. Lord have mercy...Christ have mercy" ...wow...I get shivers just thinking about it. So while this concert means four extra rehersals this week, I'm very excited about it...
I've been reading through the gospels in the last couple of weeks...trying to get through them before easter as a precursor. I haven't ever just sat down and read these books as a whole so I'm really excited about it. A few days ago I finished the sermon on the mount in Matthew. Took me a while to look at it all slowly and carefully...some facinating lessons there. I'm amazed over and over about how Christ takes the state of the religious people there and attempts to show them how much they have missed the heart of the matter. "You have heard it said that you should not murder, but I tell you that he that is angry with his brother is guilty of the same sin." "You have heard it said 'and eye for and eye' but I tell you do not resist the evil person...when your enemy strikes you, turn the other cheek" "You have heard that you should not commit adultery with another man's wife, but I tell you that he who even looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already committed lust in his heart." Why is it that I get so tied up on the rules...the things I have to do in order to "pass the test" and totally miss the motives of my own heart? It's a challenge that I can't overlook and one that I know will be a life long struggle. Somehow I pray that I can learn to live a life of freedom by the spirit and yet use that freedom to surrender myself...my whole self...
Ok wow...so I have class in 3 minutes and I really have to run. If you're reading this, thanks for listening...if not...that's Ok too...
Blessings on your new week....
I considered about appologizing ahead of time for the length that is about to insue, but while reading a journal entry of Andrew Peterson's the other day (which itself was quite lengthy), I realized that that is not needed. Read if you want...don't if you've got something better to do, but in the meantime I'm going to try to document the highs and lows of my last few weeks.
School is school...going fine but very time consuming. I just made it through my first round of tests which feels good...but midterms are also aproaching with scary movie music begining to sound in the distance. Our bio labs have been FACINATING of recent weeks...we're studying basically every phylum in the universe...and memorizing them all for my test thursday Lord willing...it has been great to finally learn to use microscopes and get a handle on such a large knowledge base.
I've been getting really involved with some of the IV kids recently...going to prayer in the evenings almost every night ( a great time of reflection on the day and supporting each other), going to large group meetings when I can, and attending training sessions for next year's leadership team, which I hope to be a part of. This has been really good for me...a great chance for being challenged and staying accountable.
This past weekend was vocal jazz fest at MU, when a bunch of high school jazz groups came to perform and spent a half hour with a clinician for some tips. I helped chaperone a group around for a while and then my jazz group sang at the end of the day. It was fun...and a great experience for our young group of singers. May I say that kirkland stage feels huge when there are only 9 of you and the microphones up there...
Had some of my music buddies over to the house the other night for games and a movie...that was a blast. I think it scared a few of them to knock on the door and have "DR HOLMES" answer. :) hehe...it really does crack me up some times to be the daughter of my dad...I hope he doesn't mind having his students in his refrigerator one minute and in his class the next.
Speaking of music, next Saturday we'll be performing a major work...a requiem by Verdi with full orchestra and soloists from Chicago. Composers for hundreds of years have been using the same texts to set their works to...a requiem is just a specific set of latin texts which many different composers set their own music to. Most of the work is spent singing about "Dies Irae"...the day of judgement. The requiem was typically a funeral mass, and in some lights you could see this concert as and hour and 15 min of singing about hell fire and brimstone in Latin...but if you could hear these choirs...the HUGE sound, the orchestra, and the pleading texts "Deliver me, O Lord, from eternal death, on that fearful day when the heavens are moved and the earth when thou shalt come to judge the world through fire. Rest eternal grant your children, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine on them. Lord have mercy...Christ have mercy" ...wow...I get shivers just thinking about it. So while this concert means four extra rehersals this week, I'm very excited about it...
I've been reading through the gospels in the last couple of weeks...trying to get through them before easter as a precursor. I haven't ever just sat down and read these books as a whole so I'm really excited about it. A few days ago I finished the sermon on the mount in Matthew. Took me a while to look at it all slowly and carefully...some facinating lessons there. I'm amazed over and over about how Christ takes the state of the religious people there and attempts to show them how much they have missed the heart of the matter. "You have heard it said that you should not murder, but I tell you that he that is angry with his brother is guilty of the same sin." "You have heard it said 'and eye for and eye' but I tell you do not resist the evil person...when your enemy strikes you, turn the other cheek" "You have heard that you should not commit adultery with another man's wife, but I tell you that he who even looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already committed lust in his heart." Why is it that I get so tied up on the rules...the things I have to do in order to "pass the test" and totally miss the motives of my own heart? It's a challenge that I can't overlook and one that I know will be a life long struggle. Somehow I pray that I can learn to live a life of freedom by the spirit and yet use that freedom to surrender myself...my whole self...
Ok wow...so I have class in 3 minutes and I really have to run. If you're reading this, thanks for listening...if not...that's Ok too...
Blessings on your new week....
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Yeah...it had better be Friday...
Hi all,
It's been a while and I'm amazed at how fast time is starting to fly. Perhaps because of the heavy class load, perhaps because of the crazy happenings in the rest of life it feels like I'm spinning more plates than ever before. It's a good feeling too though...it's gonna be spring break before we know it!
I just got home from a fun part-ay with some of my IV buddies...we watched a countdown of the top 100 teen stars of the 80's and 90's...it was pretty good times. Then we chowed down on pizza during "Anchorman" and "Drop dead gorgeous"...I can't probably recommend either of them...but I sure laughed a lot tonight.
Tomorrow a bunch of the same kids are going up to Champaign for a concert by the acapella group "the Extention Chords"...I hope to go with them and so get in my party quotient for the weekend.
This week in school I learned how to create a powerpoint presentation (it's not done yet but the fact that I haven't blown anything up with the technology so far is re-assuring) and in my Visual Rhetoric (the persuasion of visual images) class we are learning some awesome stuff about how images, colors, and even shapes shape how we think. It's facinating and scary at the same time. We'll be doing a research project in this class, which is a bit daunting...but we'll take it as it comes.
Bio is overwhelming at best, but I am being exposed to an amazing amount of knowledge and our labs are really cool. well...I think so. ...I'm pretty sure that I really grossed my dad out when I told him about the fungus growth that we are observing on horse dung. hehe...I've decided that it is a biology major's fate to take whatever the world thinks is disgusting or "untouchable" and stick it under a microscope for a closer look. But hey, I can definitely see the connection between a cure for cancer and cutting apart a flatworm to see if it will regenerate a head...yeah...no problem...
I'm amazed ever day at how much God has provided great friends for me here. Somehow I am meeting scads of them all the sudden, and I think it's because I've finally realized that I need to be in the music building more often. I am having some great times with the girls in my choir and jazz group, the freshman boys in an acapella group called "remedy," and the kids in my dad's choir who keep me updated on his sanity. There is a warmth and closeness around people who make music together...I'm eating it up. While in the science building Mary and I are sticking close but also finally meeting some fun study buddies if nothing else.
In many ways, this past week has been one of the toughest I remember in a long time...and yet God has been faithful...I only wish that I could be faithful in return. I ache to show these kids a love that is far bigger than me or any of us...yet I balk in the face of the unknown and the seemingly self-sufficient people I meet.
I've been yearning for Friday for a good week now...and suddenly it's Saturday. Crap. That means study day...ok...time for bed!! :)
Blessing and sweet dreams~
"He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the lord is the Rock eternal."
~Isaiah 26:3-4
It's been a while and I'm amazed at how fast time is starting to fly. Perhaps because of the heavy class load, perhaps because of the crazy happenings in the rest of life it feels like I'm spinning more plates than ever before. It's a good feeling too though...it's gonna be spring break before we know it!
I just got home from a fun part-ay with some of my IV buddies...we watched a countdown of the top 100 teen stars of the 80's and 90's...it was pretty good times. Then we chowed down on pizza during "Anchorman" and "Drop dead gorgeous"...I can't probably recommend either of them...but I sure laughed a lot tonight.
Tomorrow a bunch of the same kids are going up to Champaign for a concert by the acapella group "the Extention Chords"...I hope to go with them and so get in my party quotient for the weekend.
This week in school I learned how to create a powerpoint presentation (it's not done yet but the fact that I haven't blown anything up with the technology so far is re-assuring) and in my Visual Rhetoric (the persuasion of visual images) class we are learning some awesome stuff about how images, colors, and even shapes shape how we think. It's facinating and scary at the same time. We'll be doing a research project in this class, which is a bit daunting...but we'll take it as it comes.
Bio is overwhelming at best, but I am being exposed to an amazing amount of knowledge and our labs are really cool. well...I think so. ...I'm pretty sure that I really grossed my dad out when I told him about the fungus growth that we are observing on horse dung. hehe...I've decided that it is a biology major's fate to take whatever the world thinks is disgusting or "untouchable" and stick it under a microscope for a closer look. But hey, I can definitely see the connection between a cure for cancer and cutting apart a flatworm to see if it will regenerate a head...yeah...no problem...
I'm amazed ever day at how much God has provided great friends for me here. Somehow I am meeting scads of them all the sudden, and I think it's because I've finally realized that I need to be in the music building more often. I am having some great times with the girls in my choir and jazz group, the freshman boys in an acapella group called "remedy," and the kids in my dad's choir who keep me updated on his sanity. There is a warmth and closeness around people who make music together...I'm eating it up. While in the science building Mary and I are sticking close but also finally meeting some fun study buddies if nothing else.
In many ways, this past week has been one of the toughest I remember in a long time...and yet God has been faithful...I only wish that I could be faithful in return. I ache to show these kids a love that is far bigger than me or any of us...yet I balk in the face of the unknown and the seemingly self-sufficient people I meet.
I've been yearning for Friday for a good week now...and suddenly it's Saturday. Crap. That means study day...ok...time for bed!! :)
Blessing and sweet dreams~
"He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the lord is the Rock eternal."
~Isaiah 26:3-4
Friday, February 03, 2006
me of little faith...
What will be left when I’ve drawn my last breath,
besides the folks I’ve met and the folks who know me?
Will I discover a soul saving love or just the dirt above and below me?
I’m a doubting Thomas, I took a promise, but I do not feel safe.
Oh me of little faith.
Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face,
Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face,
then I beg to be spared cause I’m a coward.
If there's a master of death, I bet he's holding his breath
as I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power.
I'm a doubting Thomas...I can't keep my promises, cause I don't know what's safe...
Oh me of little faith.
Can I be used to help others find truth when I’m scared I’ll find proof that it’s a lie?
Can I be lead down a trail dropping breadcrumbs that prove I’m not ready to die?
Please give me time to decipher the signs,
Please give me time to decipher the signs,
please forgive me for time that I've wasted.
I'm a doubting Thomas, I take your promises though I know nothing's "safe."
Oh me of little faith.
Nickel Creek
"In this you gratly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire,--may be proven genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith...the salvation of your souls"
1 Peter 1:6-9
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Birthday bashes, potlucks, wimps, and construction...
Well well well, lookie here...it's almost February! What?? February?
Indeed the days seem to fly right now. It's midnight and I have 3 other things I should be doing right now...but I had a few random events I wanted to chronicle before I get into the Word and then hit the hay. I know if I don't write them down now, they will slip through my fingers like so many poppyseeds...
Let's see...events recently include a surprise 50th birthday party for my dad, a not surprise 16th birthday party for Casey (license to follow in about 4 weeks...), work, school, a church potluck (and a hillarious convo involving boogered meat and spoons...), and an afternoon with my friend Cristina from Millikin. She is an absolute sweetie...I hope you all get to meet her some day. We frequented Culver's and had some very uplifting conversation...I anticipate a lasting and meaningful friendship with her!
School is in full swing and after just a week and a half I must admit I'm a little overwhelmed. Yet I love my classes, and I'm facinated with all that I'm finding there is to learn. I secretly laughed when my critter teacher told us the other day that "the more you know, the more you know"...but as I've pondered that phrase I've begun to wonder about what does happen when you know more. I got so curious that I wasted about 45 min the other day looking it up...here's some that I found:
"the more you know, the less you understand"
"the more you know, the more you sell"
"the more you know, the more you see, the more you percieve"
"the more you know, the more you know there's more to know"
"the more you know, the more options you have"
"the more you know, the harder it will be to make decisive choices"
...I could go on, but you get the point...and I'll let you decide which one is the most true or applicable. There's a point where I think all of us wonder, "where is this going?"...and yet I have been very convicted of late that God's purposes are not held outside of academia, though my friend Millikin would love for me to believe that. The God of all who fasioned our human minds in a way that we still don't comprehend surely wants us to put them to good use. There's something quickening and exciting about that truth...about the possiblity that all of this "know" could cause us to do some growing...and, Lord willing, some "doing" too.
Speaking of doing, I saw the movie "End of the Spear" twice this weekend...once with Cristina and again with my family and the Costerisans. As we walked out of the theater, my friend turned to me and said, "man, I feel like a wimp..." ...ditto...
If you haven't heard about it, it's the true story of the group of missionaries who were speared to death preaching to the native people of Equador. Jim Elliot, one of the 5 men killed, has had his story told often, but this movie was told from the perspective of the son of another missionary. His story is one of incredible courage, intense pain, and the battle for forgiveness and sacrifice in his own adult life. Although the message of the gospel is not as blatant as I would have liked, for those of us who know Christ's calling to "Preach the word," the challenge is as clear as it is frightening and breathtaking. I won't talk any more about it, but if you haven't seen it, I would give it a shot.
God has been doing some pretty tough chiseling on my heart in recent weeks...if you think of it, please pray for me. I guess you'd say I'm going through a little bit of a personal construction project...one whose end is not in sight but whose improvements I hope to see soon. Its funny how I never notice how big of a problem I have until I start trying to change it...thanks Lord for speaking clearly.
Well, tomorrow I have classes and/or babysitting from 8am to 9:30 pm straight...so it's really time I hit the hay...may he continue to bless you as you give your hearts to him...goodnight
Indeed the days seem to fly right now. It's midnight and I have 3 other things I should be doing right now...but I had a few random events I wanted to chronicle before I get into the Word and then hit the hay. I know if I don't write them down now, they will slip through my fingers like so many poppyseeds...
Let's see...events recently include a surprise 50th birthday party for my dad, a not surprise 16th birthday party for Casey (license to follow in about 4 weeks...), work, school, a church potluck (and a hillarious convo involving boogered meat and spoons...), and an afternoon with my friend Cristina from Millikin. She is an absolute sweetie...I hope you all get to meet her some day. We frequented Culver's and had some very uplifting conversation...I anticipate a lasting and meaningful friendship with her!
School is in full swing and after just a week and a half I must admit I'm a little overwhelmed. Yet I love my classes, and I'm facinated with all that I'm finding there is to learn. I secretly laughed when my critter teacher told us the other day that "the more you know, the more you know"...but as I've pondered that phrase I've begun to wonder about what does happen when you know more. I got so curious that I wasted about 45 min the other day looking it up...here's some that I found:
"the more you know, the less you understand"
"the more you know, the more you sell"
"the more you know, the more you see, the more you percieve"
"the more you know, the more you know there's more to know"
"the more you know, the more options you have"
"the more you know, the harder it will be to make decisive choices"
...I could go on, but you get the point...and I'll let you decide which one is the most true or applicable. There's a point where I think all of us wonder, "where is this going?"...and yet I have been very convicted of late that God's purposes are not held outside of academia, though my friend Millikin would love for me to believe that. The God of all who fasioned our human minds in a way that we still don't comprehend surely wants us to put them to good use. There's something quickening and exciting about that truth...about the possiblity that all of this "know" could cause us to do some growing...and, Lord willing, some "doing" too.
Speaking of doing, I saw the movie "End of the Spear" twice this weekend...once with Cristina and again with my family and the Costerisans. As we walked out of the theater, my friend turned to me and said, "man, I feel like a wimp..." ...ditto...
If you haven't heard about it, it's the true story of the group of missionaries who were speared to death preaching to the native people of Equador. Jim Elliot, one of the 5 men killed, has had his story told often, but this movie was told from the perspective of the son of another missionary. His story is one of incredible courage, intense pain, and the battle for forgiveness and sacrifice in his own adult life. Although the message of the gospel is not as blatant as I would have liked, for those of us who know Christ's calling to "Preach the word," the challenge is as clear as it is frightening and breathtaking. I won't talk any more about it, but if you haven't seen it, I would give it a shot.
God has been doing some pretty tough chiseling on my heart in recent weeks...if you think of it, please pray for me. I guess you'd say I'm going through a little bit of a personal construction project...one whose end is not in sight but whose improvements I hope to see soon. Its funny how I never notice how big of a problem I have until I start trying to change it...thanks Lord for speaking clearly.
Well, tomorrow I have classes and/or babysitting from 8am to 9:30 pm straight...so it's really time I hit the hay...may he continue to bless you as you give your hearts to him...goodnight
Monday, January 16, 2006
Things I've done since friday (besides showers, sleep, and talking to myself)
Hey all...here's the story
It was more than a week ago that Dad and TJ left for choir tour in Florida (they spent the day in Disney yesterday...yeah, feel sorry for them), and on Friday afternoon Casey left to go to Snow Trip in WI (ok...now feel sorry for me...). The long and the short of it is that Mom and I are home alone and enjoying some amazingly kicked back time. It's fun to see mom cut loose and totally relax...she needed it! Here's what we did...
-Made puppy chow for the kiddies on Snow trip...yay for bus rides
-Went to see the kiddies off (in the middle of the biggest freezing rain storm I've ever seen)...the usual hour of chaos trying to get the vans loaded and decided how to "fairly" divide up the kids.
-Went to the mall...shopping for Dad's B-day and coffee with Mrs. Bostick and Mrs. Cos
-Got a pizza and watched tons of West Wing...the dog started barking a lot and we got spooked and called the Bosticks to come over...the dog barked more and we called the police. Nothing there...my dog is officially psyco...
-Watched the first Pink Panther...which I had never seen
-Went to lunch with Cheryl and Heather Cos...Heather and I got in a good chat which we rarely get to do...good times
-Started a quilting project for mom...More west wing...more Pink Panther...no more police
-Worked on my application for leadership team for Intervaristy
-More quilting
-More West Wing
-Church
-Work...finally something productive!!
Rumor has it that I might acutally have to start working hard again soon...they keep sending me text books in the mail...alright...I'll take the hint. I'm ready to start thowing myself into it again. I know that it's gonna be a tough semester...I have a very heavy load...but I'm ready for the challenge. A lot of my buddies from school come back today...yay for friends!!
If you're looking ahead and the future is cloudy or daunting, take comfort in Lamentations 3:21-23:
"This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!!"
Love, Peace, and Blessings to you all...
Me
It was more than a week ago that Dad and TJ left for choir tour in Florida (they spent the day in Disney yesterday...yeah, feel sorry for them), and on Friday afternoon Casey left to go to Snow Trip in WI (ok...now feel sorry for me...). The long and the short of it is that Mom and I are home alone and enjoying some amazingly kicked back time. It's fun to see mom cut loose and totally relax...she needed it! Here's what we did...
-Made puppy chow for the kiddies on Snow trip...yay for bus rides
-Went to see the kiddies off (in the middle of the biggest freezing rain storm I've ever seen)...the usual hour of chaos trying to get the vans loaded and decided how to "fairly" divide up the kids.
-Went to the mall...shopping for Dad's B-day and coffee with Mrs. Bostick and Mrs. Cos
-Got a pizza and watched tons of West Wing...the dog started barking a lot and we got spooked and called the Bosticks to come over...the dog barked more and we called the police. Nothing there...my dog is officially psyco...
-Watched the first Pink Panther...which I had never seen
-Went to lunch with Cheryl and Heather Cos...Heather and I got in a good chat which we rarely get to do...good times
-Started a quilting project for mom...More west wing...more Pink Panther...no more police
-Worked on my application for leadership team for Intervaristy
-More quilting
-More West Wing
-Church
-Work...finally something productive!!
Rumor has it that I might acutally have to start working hard again soon...they keep sending me text books in the mail...alright...I'll take the hint. I'm ready to start thowing myself into it again. I know that it's gonna be a tough semester...I have a very heavy load...but I'm ready for the challenge. A lot of my buddies from school come back today...yay for friends!!
If you're looking ahead and the future is cloudy or daunting, take comfort in Lamentations 3:21-23:
"This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!!"
Love, Peace, and Blessings to you all...
Me
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Life is Beautiful
~I got called off work tonight
~I'm headed to see Pride and Prejudice in a few minutes with my sis and mom instead
~It's mid January and it's like 60 degrees and sunny out
~The doctors haven't found any cysts on me...yet
~I get to go to summit this summer
~I only have one more semester of my Freshman year in college
~I don't have to go back to school for 10 more days
~I've got a roof over my head right now...I'm typing on a laptop...
~my family hasn't kicked me out yet, even though there are days that I'm an impossible grouch
~I've eaten at Panera twice today
~There were two little kids at lunch...one sleeping in her carseat and one wide awake, standing in her mother's lap...who made me thankful to be alive today. Kids are facinating to watch
Man...life is sweet
Casey wrote a song (actually, she wrote a bunch but she won't let me hear them...) that she sang in church this morning. It's cool that I have a sister who is able to make beautiful music out of thoughts and feelings that seem to come out of my heart rather than hers...cool and scary how that works. Got to love being sisters!! :) I thought you might enjoy the lyrics...
Casey Holmes...future awesome composer of the year...and my sister...who doesn't want this one here....hehe....she says it's copywrited...so don't steal it...
Blessings on your week...on a new semester and a new life. When we put our lives in his hands we can be confident that his mercies and grace are new EVERY MORNING...now THAT is truely beautiful. Peace
~I'm headed to see Pride and Prejudice in a few minutes with my sis and mom instead
~It's mid January and it's like 60 degrees and sunny out
~The doctors haven't found any cysts on me...yet
~I get to go to summit this summer
~I only have one more semester of my Freshman year in college
~I don't have to go back to school for 10 more days
~I've got a roof over my head right now...I'm typing on a laptop...
~my family hasn't kicked me out yet, even though there are days that I'm an impossible grouch
~I've eaten at Panera twice today
~There were two little kids at lunch...one sleeping in her carseat and one wide awake, standing in her mother's lap...who made me thankful to be alive today. Kids are facinating to watch
Man...life is sweet
Casey wrote a song (actually, she wrote a bunch but she won't let me hear them...) that she sang in church this morning. It's cool that I have a sister who is able to make beautiful music out of thoughts and feelings that seem to come out of my heart rather than hers...cool and scary how that works. Got to love being sisters!! :) I thought you might enjoy the lyrics...
Once again I come before you broken and afraid
Once again I feel my heart has given itself away
and I confess that I forgot whos life this was
And I want you to be the only thing to capture my heart with love
I've betrayed you Lord and maker over and over again
For useless gain with selfish thoughts I constantly trade you in
But if there's one who can forgive it's you alone
can you take back this rugged life I call my own?
So I turn again to you
And I remember that you are the one I've given myself to
And I pledge my love...again
Cause in this book of life I've promised you the pen
So here's my heart again
Casey Holmes...future awesome composer of the year...and my sister...who doesn't want this one here....hehe....she says it's copywrited...so don't steal it...
Blessings on your week...on a new semester and a new life. When we put our lives in his hands we can be confident that his mercies and grace are new EVERY MORNING...now THAT is truely beautiful. Peace
Sunday, January 01, 2006
another year, another blog, another random ramble...
Hey y'all,
One year ago yesterday I started this blog. Its hard to believe it's been that long...even harder to believe how much things have changed since then. More and more I sense that life is kind of carrying me along with it, rather than allowing me to more or less have control. Perhaps that's just Gods way of trying to teach me some surrender and dependence right now. Then again perhaps that's just life.
We had a great Christmas...the day we spent alone (a wonderful contrast to our usual habit of either driving for 20+ hours to get somewhere or having a houseful of people for a week), but we had lots of parties with friends and family before, and so we enjoyed the peace. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved going to church that morning. Somehow the season just seemed weird to me this year. Fun, restful, but different. I had trouble getting into the christmas mood...singing and baking and seeing friends was a blast as always, but at times they lacked personal meaning. Anyway, something hit me like a major holiday wake up call that Christmas morning and by the time we hit the presents my heart was right and my spirit refreshed by the arrival of the tiny babe who is still chipping away at my heart.
We also got to visit our good friends Dennis and Donna in St. Louis this past week, we went shopping and saw their new house. It was awesome to re-connect and sit around a play games. We also ate at the best Italian restaraunt on the plannet, but that's another story.
Since today is also a sunday and our usual routine of staying up till all hours on new year's eve would not cut it for a saturday night, we held the annual new year's party at the Kneezels a night early. This not only totally threw off my calendar skills but made the party a few hours LONGER (if that was even possible) since we still stayed till midnight yesterday to count down and enjoy bubbly and fireworks on the deck. The families in our church are something very special...being with them is the safest feeling in the world. Jackie and I had a long talk about what it will be like in a few years when we all are married and have kids. Will we drag them along, raving about "what good friends these people are"...and will our children connect or sit and stare akwardly at each other while the parents talk? Idealy we will all live on the same street, our kids will be best friends, and yet another generation will grow up together...sharing everything from school homework to afternoon chores. But we all know that there may be a few hiccups in that plan. I hope though, that as we spread out and begin to make our own lives we will take the seasoning of this group with us. I hope that we can come close to building similar communities of believers wherever we are planted. I hope that with God's help, my own children will be supported and loved by so many wonderful people.
Well, there I go again, rambing as normal. The point is, Happy New Year everyone. See that horizon? Can you see past it? No, of course not...that's the point. It was extremely fitting that this morning our pastor preached a sermon on patience...trusting friends is the only way to live, to face that mountain range ahead, to enjoy the passing days without regretting their exit.
Blessings on your new year...praise him for his plans to use all of us to accomplish his purpose!!
One year ago yesterday I started this blog. Its hard to believe it's been that long...even harder to believe how much things have changed since then. More and more I sense that life is kind of carrying me along with it, rather than allowing me to more or less have control. Perhaps that's just Gods way of trying to teach me some surrender and dependence right now. Then again perhaps that's just life.
We had a great Christmas...the day we spent alone (a wonderful contrast to our usual habit of either driving for 20+ hours to get somewhere or having a houseful of people for a week), but we had lots of parties with friends and family before, and so we enjoyed the peace. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved going to church that morning. Somehow the season just seemed weird to me this year. Fun, restful, but different. I had trouble getting into the christmas mood...singing and baking and seeing friends was a blast as always, but at times they lacked personal meaning. Anyway, something hit me like a major holiday wake up call that Christmas morning and by the time we hit the presents my heart was right and my spirit refreshed by the arrival of the tiny babe who is still chipping away at my heart.
We also got to visit our good friends Dennis and Donna in St. Louis this past week, we went shopping and saw their new house. It was awesome to re-connect and sit around a play games. We also ate at the best Italian restaraunt on the plannet, but that's another story.
Since today is also a sunday and our usual routine of staying up till all hours on new year's eve would not cut it for a saturday night, we held the annual new year's party at the Kneezels a night early. This not only totally threw off my calendar skills but made the party a few hours LONGER (if that was even possible) since we still stayed till midnight yesterday to count down and enjoy bubbly and fireworks on the deck. The families in our church are something very special...being with them is the safest feeling in the world. Jackie and I had a long talk about what it will be like in a few years when we all are married and have kids. Will we drag them along, raving about "what good friends these people are"...and will our children connect or sit and stare akwardly at each other while the parents talk? Idealy we will all live on the same street, our kids will be best friends, and yet another generation will grow up together...sharing everything from school homework to afternoon chores. But we all know that there may be a few hiccups in that plan. I hope though, that as we spread out and begin to make our own lives we will take the seasoning of this group with us. I hope that we can come close to building similar communities of believers wherever we are planted. I hope that with God's help, my own children will be supported and loved by so many wonderful people.
Well, there I go again, rambing as normal. The point is, Happy New Year everyone. See that horizon? Can you see past it? No, of course not...that's the point. It was extremely fitting that this morning our pastor preached a sermon on patience...trusting friends is the only way to live, to face that mountain range ahead, to enjoy the passing days without regretting their exit.
Blessings on your new year...praise him for his plans to use all of us to accomplish his purpose!!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
If you're reading this, you're invited
Hey y'all...here's how it's going down...On Jan. 2 our buddy Chris (if you don't know him leave this blog...) is going to be in town and I'm having a party at my house. Please come!! By the way, for those of you who have siblings that are Jordans age or just know these cool kids and want to come and hang out...bring them all...anyone's invited. We'll make tacos and nachos...I'd appreciate it if guys could bring some soda and girls some snacks or desserts...also if you need directions just let me know! I hope you all can come...Later!
Friday, December 16, 2005
a thunk for your thinker
CS Lewis and I had a ramble last night after a whole day of studying and he hit me in the forhead as he began talking about how satan gets christians concerned about the wrong things. It seems that very often in the church we are put at odds with each other over trivial errors in the faith and its application. Lewis explains:
"I feel a strong desire to tell you-- and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me-- which of these two errors is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs--pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them."
Let your heart chew on that one for a minute, and realize the incredible love of God, who continues to pursue us even though our free will causes us to stray every day. ...Who follows us deep into those crevices, where by backing away from the cliff we are entering a deep, dark cave. He patiently watches us travel horizontally, piously avoiding the worst of two evils, and all the time He is calling us from above, and waiting for us to stop and listen.
Praise be to our Father, who gave his life for us and calls us only to put our feet in His hands.
Blessings,
"I feel a strong desire to tell you-- and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me-- which of these two errors is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs--pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them."
Let your heart chew on that one for a minute, and realize the incredible love of God, who continues to pursue us even though our free will causes us to stray every day. ...Who follows us deep into those crevices, where by backing away from the cliff we are entering a deep, dark cave. He patiently watches us travel horizontally, piously avoiding the worst of two evils, and all the time He is calling us from above, and waiting for us to stop and listen.
Praise be to our Father, who gave his life for us and calls us only to put our feet in His hands.
Blessings,
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
cliff notes....
VESPERS...amazing...totally surreal...one of those "everyone pull together or stand back and watch it collapse" experiences...ugly red dresses...crazy amounts of practice...draining and totally rewarding week...
PAPERS.....several of them....one about roly-polys that is gonna be about 14 pages long....who does that.....go figure....I'm pretty tired of making up homework that I should have done last week...
FRIENDS...vespers=awesome bonding for the choir kids....much fun and many late night practices and runs to steak and shake....finally found the group that I want to chill with for the rest of the year....mostly music majors...tons of fun....no alchohol needed....holy cow, what a concept...self proclaimed "Jesus people" rock my world....thanks lord....
FINALS....breathing down my neck but not quite here....got to enjoy my grandparents as much as possible before then....wishing that DCS had made me take one final in all of my time there....prayers would be nice.....
CHAPTER6......everytime I see those guys I'm amazed...such an awesome testimony...in your face...good stuff....new christmas songs and a fight with the circut breaker...lots of laughs...hot cocoa...
BED....you mean sleep....as in vertical rest...as in more than last night.....hmm...ok...you convinced me.....
PAPERS.....several of them....one about roly-polys that is gonna be about 14 pages long....who does that.....go figure....I'm pretty tired of making up homework that I should have done last week...
FRIENDS...vespers=awesome bonding for the choir kids....much fun and many late night practices and runs to steak and shake....finally found the group that I want to chill with for the rest of the year....mostly music majors...tons of fun....no alchohol needed....holy cow, what a concept...self proclaimed "Jesus people" rock my world....thanks lord....
FINALS....breathing down my neck but not quite here....got to enjoy my grandparents as much as possible before then....wishing that DCS had made me take one final in all of my time there....prayers would be nice.....
CHAPTER6......everytime I see those guys I'm amazed...such an awesome testimony...in your face...good stuff....new christmas songs and a fight with the circut breaker...lots of laughs...hot cocoa...
BED....you mean sleep....as in vertical rest...as in more than last night.....hmm...ok...you convinced me.....
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Be still...
Still is something I don't do too often. Stop...listen...sit...meditate...breathe...wonder... These are the things my independent and flurried nature often forget to allow. In the midst of a crazy service sunday, God caught me by the collar and whispered a few important words to me. "Be STILL...and KNOW that I am God. Come to me. Learn to trust by sitting in my lap instead of running ahead and wondering when I'll catch up. Stop inviting the frustration of spinning your wheels. Feel the healing of being effective again. Will you just WAIT??" Yet another beautiful hymn that I missed in my growing up years and have come to appreciate recently...dust off that hymnal if you don't know the tune:
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.
May we all learn to invite his peace and calm into our lives, which are not really ours at all. Blessings to you~
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.
May we all learn to invite his peace and calm into our lives, which are not really ours at all. Blessings to you~
Sunday, November 13, 2005
the ugly, the bad, and the just plain good...
Holy cow, and greetings all!!
It seems like yesterday that I was prattling away on here in my last entry, and yet somehow more than a week has slipped by. Guess I really am busy over here. Allow me to fill you in:
Let's see...I think I left you the night before our departure for the IV conference in Dekalb. We spent last weekend up there and it was really good. Hard...but good. It was a racial conference for white people. ...yeah, that's what I thought too...what in the world is this about?? But it turned out to be one of the most challenging weekends I've been through for a long time. We always recognize that different ethnicities have connotations projected by the color of their skin, but we very rarely stop to wonder what the connotations attached to ours are. Wow...it's sad guys....it's devestating...it makes me want to puke...puke and then go throw my heart and soul into changing things, one person at a time. We had an awesome 3 days of teaching, prayer, worship, and confession....and came home with a challenge to "stay in pain." There's an interesting thought for you...how are we to keep doing God's work if we are not kept in pain, and reminded thereby that there is a problem? Perhaps this is the whole reason for the suffering that we are promised on our straight and narrow journey.
In contrast to the heavy deep and real subjects we covered in the conference, God sent me a huge blessing...I got to visit with Matt H for a good while and we played some frisbee in the rain (frisbee withdrawl finally curbed...for now...) and an endless game of pool with some other kids from the group. It was so nice to see him again and be encouraged and laugh with an old pal. Thanks bud!! God also granted me a great time with the 3 other millikin girls who attended. These girls are awesome and will keep me focused, lifted up in prayer, and laughing too. :)
Sunday afternoon, after a stuff your face mexican feed (guac and salsa made right at the table...yeah budddy) we headed home and drove onto campus 10 minutes before our first vespers rehersal. That was quite possibly the weirdest experience I've had in a while...but so cool too. It's official...my dad is the best there is...
This week is really a blur that I'm having trouble sorting out at this point. Classes are good for the most part, but each day comes with it's new set of challenges. A discussion that I have to "stand up" in the midst of, an embarassing moment (or 5), a ruined chemistry lab (...oh, it's burnt alright...), a bad grade on a huge paper, a forboding feeling of loneliness that I can't shake. And yet in the midst of things, as classes heat up and the semester presses on I am finding more and more aquaintances that just may become good friends in the future. PATIENCE! ...not too good at that one.
This weekend I attended "The Baker's Wife," our theater department's latest production. I also babysat for 6 hours saturday afternoon and worked at the hospital saturday night. Today was church, lunch, shopping, church choir practice, and then vespers rehersal. aka...I have no voice now... :) We are singing some amazing pieces...and I'm just praying that the incredible message carried in each will somehow penetrate the faces sitting all around me. That's one cool thing about choir music...it's allowed to be blatantly sacred. This is one area where christians have done well in keeping up with the world and producing truth in a form that's both amazing and acccepted by the general public. Anyway, long ways to come...but the dream of finally being in this production during the first week in December just about has me giddy....
This week I'm doing a ton of random stuff...presentation of our roly poly project in bio...Vocal Jazz concert (I am jazzed...no pun intended) Tuesday, huge test Friday, vocal Jury on Saturday morning. ...and, praise the lord, life goes on.
I'd appreciate prayers for:
-my health...I'm stretched and I need good vocal chords this week especially!
-some personal jazz that's been challenging me...self control and peace needed
-strength to minister to those around me...and the determination to keep looking around and seeing the need.
May I leave you with a verse that we were challenged with last weekend. How quickly I forget that none of God's commandments or promises are on my terms. ...from Isaiah 58
For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right...they ask me for decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. "Why have we fasted," they say, " and you have not seen it?? Why have we humbled ourselves and you have not noticed??" Yet on the day fo your fasting, you do as you please, and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarrels and strife...you cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high....is this not the kind of fasting that I have chosen??...that you share your food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?? THEN your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear...THEN you will call and the Lord will answer, you willl cry for help, and he will say: here I am...
I'm praying for you all...have an awesome week...I'm off to hit the hay hard!! :) Blessings and love~~
me
It seems like yesterday that I was prattling away on here in my last entry, and yet somehow more than a week has slipped by. Guess I really am busy over here. Allow me to fill you in:
Let's see...I think I left you the night before our departure for the IV conference in Dekalb. We spent last weekend up there and it was really good. Hard...but good. It was a racial conference for white people. ...yeah, that's what I thought too...what in the world is this about?? But it turned out to be one of the most challenging weekends I've been through for a long time. We always recognize that different ethnicities have connotations projected by the color of their skin, but we very rarely stop to wonder what the connotations attached to ours are. Wow...it's sad guys....it's devestating...it makes me want to puke...puke and then go throw my heart and soul into changing things, one person at a time. We had an awesome 3 days of teaching, prayer, worship, and confession....and came home with a challenge to "stay in pain." There's an interesting thought for you...how are we to keep doing God's work if we are not kept in pain, and reminded thereby that there is a problem? Perhaps this is the whole reason for the suffering that we are promised on our straight and narrow journey.
In contrast to the heavy deep and real subjects we covered in the conference, God sent me a huge blessing...I got to visit with Matt H for a good while and we played some frisbee in the rain (frisbee withdrawl finally curbed...for now...) and an endless game of pool with some other kids from the group. It was so nice to see him again and be encouraged and laugh with an old pal. Thanks bud!! God also granted me a great time with the 3 other millikin girls who attended. These girls are awesome and will keep me focused, lifted up in prayer, and laughing too. :)
Sunday afternoon, after a stuff your face mexican feed (guac and salsa made right at the table...yeah budddy) we headed home and drove onto campus 10 minutes before our first vespers rehersal. That was quite possibly the weirdest experience I've had in a while...but so cool too. It's official...my dad is the best there is...
This week is really a blur that I'm having trouble sorting out at this point. Classes are good for the most part, but each day comes with it's new set of challenges. A discussion that I have to "stand up" in the midst of, an embarassing moment (or 5), a ruined chemistry lab (...oh, it's burnt alright...), a bad grade on a huge paper, a forboding feeling of loneliness that I can't shake. And yet in the midst of things, as classes heat up and the semester presses on I am finding more and more aquaintances that just may become good friends in the future. PATIENCE! ...not too good at that one.
This weekend I attended "The Baker's Wife," our theater department's latest production. I also babysat for 6 hours saturday afternoon and worked at the hospital saturday night. Today was church, lunch, shopping, church choir practice, and then vespers rehersal. aka...I have no voice now... :) We are singing some amazing pieces...and I'm just praying that the incredible message carried in each will somehow penetrate the faces sitting all around me. That's one cool thing about choir music...it's allowed to be blatantly sacred. This is one area where christians have done well in keeping up with the world and producing truth in a form that's both amazing and acccepted by the general public. Anyway, long ways to come...but the dream of finally being in this production during the first week in December just about has me giddy....
This week I'm doing a ton of random stuff...presentation of our roly poly project in bio...Vocal Jazz concert (I am jazzed...no pun intended) Tuesday, huge test Friday, vocal Jury on Saturday morning. ...and, praise the lord, life goes on.
I'd appreciate prayers for:
-my health...I'm stretched and I need good vocal chords this week especially!
-some personal jazz that's been challenging me...self control and peace needed
-strength to minister to those around me...and the determination to keep looking around and seeing the need.
May I leave you with a verse that we were challenged with last weekend. How quickly I forget that none of God's commandments or promises are on my terms. ...from Isaiah 58
For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right...they ask me for decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. "Why have we fasted," they say, " and you have not seen it?? Why have we humbled ourselves and you have not noticed??" Yet on the day fo your fasting, you do as you please, and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarrels and strife...you cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high....is this not the kind of fasting that I have chosen??...that you share your food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?? THEN your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear...THEN you will call and the Lord will answer, you willl cry for help, and he will say: here I am...
I'm praying for you all...have an awesome week...I'm off to hit the hay hard!! :) Blessings and love~~
me
Thursday, November 03, 2005
a nutshell for you...
Hey y'all...
Not much time but I thought I'd drop a line for anyone who cares to read this. It's been a very busy week and time is simply flying. Vespers rehersals start on Sunday, Advising is next week, final projects, speeches, and group work are at their climax, and I'm getting tight with the roly polys here (ever spent 3 hours poking them and recording their behavior?? I have...) This morning was Ray Pinkley's funeral...a stunning tribute to a fantastic guy. I had never been to a millitary man's burial...it was very moving. Keep praying for Mrs. Pinkley...she was amazingly joyful but I know that she is hurting too.
This weekend I am going up to NIU for a Intervarsity retreat...not too many people going, but it should be a good chance to get to know the ones who are. I'm ready for the chance to get out of town and get a little rejuvinated.
Well, I'm off to another round of roly poly observation...bleh. I am tired...very tired...but I'm trusting God to give me strength. Prayers appreciated. Hope you all are having a great week. Love ya~
Love lifted me, love lifted me,
When nothing else could help love lifted me...
Not much time but I thought I'd drop a line for anyone who cares to read this. It's been a very busy week and time is simply flying. Vespers rehersals start on Sunday, Advising is next week, final projects, speeches, and group work are at their climax, and I'm getting tight with the roly polys here (ever spent 3 hours poking them and recording their behavior?? I have...) This morning was Ray Pinkley's funeral...a stunning tribute to a fantastic guy. I had never been to a millitary man's burial...it was very moving. Keep praying for Mrs. Pinkley...she was amazingly joyful but I know that she is hurting too.
This weekend I am going up to NIU for a Intervarsity retreat...not too many people going, but it should be a good chance to get to know the ones who are. I'm ready for the chance to get out of town and get a little rejuvinated.
Well, I'm off to another round of roly poly observation...bleh. I am tired...very tired...but I'm trusting God to give me strength. Prayers appreciated. Hope you all are having a great week. Love ya~
Love lifted me, love lifted me,
When nothing else could help love lifted me...
Monday, October 31, 2005
If these don't make your day, nothing will
Hey all...
So I wanted to share some pics of my most recent experiences. It seems that all the sudden my life is full of kids! Friday night we went to the Booseum and got to do science experiments and a costume contest with all the kids. These guys absolutely cracked me up...especially the little boy who freaked out when we showed him the "ooblick" aka monster slime. :)
And the prize goes to... well, he didn't get the real prize, but in my mind there was really no competition... Continuing with the theme, for the next day or two our old friends the Traums, with their 7, 2, and six month old daughters, are here. This makes our house the biggest anti study zone in the world, but it's all good. ....last night I was carving partner with the two year old. Together we created a pumpkin Piccasso would be proud of. So much fun. Hope these made you smile!
So I wanted to share some pics of my most recent experiences. It seems that all the sudden my life is full of kids! Friday night we went to the Booseum and got to do science experiments and a costume contest with all the kids. These guys absolutely cracked me up...especially the little boy who freaked out when we showed him the "ooblick" aka monster slime. :)
This power ranger really got into it...gotta love the fake muscles...
And many of them loved the volcano project...baking soda and vinegar were never put to better use!
awww!! I want one!! (just not for a little while...) :)
There has to be a witty caption for this somewhere...but I know I won't do it justice if I try...
And the prize goes to... well, he didn't get the real prize, but in my mind there was really no competition... Continuing with the theme, for the next day or two our old friends the Traums, with their 7, 2, and six month old daughters, are here. This makes our house the biggest anti study zone in the world, but it's all good. ....last night I was carving partner with the two year old. Together we created a pumpkin Piccasso would be proud of. So much fun. Hope these made you smile!
It's been a little while since I've done much babysitting, but the last time I did I for some reason had my camera. Since then these post card shots have made my day many times. 
Ever have one of those times in your life when you feel like you're really supposed to be getting the point because God keeps bringing the same thing to your attention. Well...it's happening to me through these little kidlets. Something about their innocence...their amazing joy...their facination with life...their honesty. Something about the way they put their trust in you when they run to you for a hug or to be held. Something about the way that they mimick and immitate your every move. Something about the fact that everything they have is little, but they give it all...and sometimes that is worth more than all the paritial, two faced, uninterested, bored "grown ups" in the world.
Little hands, little hearts, little smiles. For all of these and the lessons they have taught me recently...praise the Lord.
Ever have one of those times in your life when you feel like you're really supposed to be getting the point because God keeps bringing the same thing to your attention. Well...it's happening to me through these little kidlets. Something about their innocence...their amazing joy...their facination with life...their honesty. Something about the way they put their trust in you when they run to you for a hug or to be held. Something about the way that they mimick and immitate your every move. Something about the fact that everything they have is little, but they give it all...and sometimes that is worth more than all the paritial, two faced, uninterested, bored "grown ups" in the world.
Little hands, little hearts, little smiles. For all of these and the lessons they have taught me recently...praise the Lord.
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