Reflection on Beauty

The following is a response paper that I wrote for my global studies literature class. It is a study of feminist rhetoric, and one of our first readings was of "Diotima"...a woman quoted by socrates in the days of ancient greece. She left not record of her work personally, but her teaching on the essences of love and beatuy were quite inspiring to me. This response took on "blog tone" about half way through so I thought I'd post it here...enjoy.

It’s maybe one of the biggest problems in our society. And yet it’s one of the things that makes the world go round. Beauty is something that is valued but also abused. It is sought after but also scorned. It is desired and sometimes counterfeited. It is defined so differently by people in the world that often something called “beautiful” can look downright ugly to a person just across the street.

And perhaps, it is this defining of beauty that makes something truly beautiful so hard to find or hard to appreciate. The way that we search for beauty is sometimes in direct conflict with the way to find something or someone that is truly beautiful.
Is beauty a sensation or an emotion?
Can it be seen or must it be thought?
Is it natural or is it produced?
Is it a physical form or a spiritual condition?

Beauty is the reason that people put billions of dollars every year into the fashion industry. Yet it is also the reason that people like the Amish return to the simplest lifestyle imaginable in order to find it again. It can be seen in the face of a baby and in the eye of a storm. It is dangerous, because it can seduce us—sometimes beyond our own understanding, but it is also fulfilling and healing and sweet. Sometimes beauty is not seen at all; it jumps out at us from a page of text or it sweeps through us during a conversation with a person we esteem. But beauty always calls out more than a affirmation and demands a response; sometimes an emotion, sometimes an exclamation of praise, sometimes an interaction with the beautiful thing itself, sometimes a longing for something that we can’t even put a finger on. True beauty calls something out of us and desires a greater emotion than simple pleasure or happiness.

Sometimes a beautiful thing may be dull or shabby. Sometimes something that is very physically pleasing may not be beautiful at all. How do we tell? We can sense it. We know.

For some reason, we each have a deep seeded appreciation for beauty. I see beauty in simple things…and when these things come before my eyes or into my mind I am often caught off guard by a deep emotional connection to something much larger than myself. But sometimes when I see a very beautiful, done up, put together woman or a rich and elegant looking jewel the response is very different. I may see a pleasing image, but I don’t feel the same emotional draw and connection. My step is not lightened and my spirit is not quickened. The draw is tough to explain but it is unavoidably clear.

I love what Diotima says about seeing beauty in all different places. She says very clearly that if men spend all their time looking for a physically beautiful woman they will be very disappointed. After all, there are many beautiful people in the world, and they will soon see that she is only one of the many. She will lose her allure not because she is no longer beautiful but because she is not the only thing in the world that carries beauty with her.

So what’s the alternative?? Seek ugly people? Maybe. Maybe ugly people are more beautiful sometimes. Not because they are more pleasing to the eyes but because they bear a beauty that has nothing to do with physical appearance. We can be drawn to them without the fear of missing Beauty because we are too busy looking at a “shell.” The same goes with the beauty of logic and the beauty of community and the beauty of nature.

Diotima calls beauty, “a connection between the mortal and the spiritual.” She describes it as an overarching entity that has much more to do with a relationship between God and his people than with seeing or appreciating a beautiful article. This is a fascinating definition because it is so simple yet so easy to miss. And it tells me that beauty has nothing to do with seeing a pleasing image. It is a thing that God gave us because he wanted to tell us something about himself. He wanted to draw our spirits and show us a very small piece of his beautiful plan and purpose. He wanted to show us how much he cherishes and longs for us.

I could not agree more with Diotima’s final conclusion:
“It is only when [man] discerns beauty itself through what makes it visible that a man will be quickened with the true, and not the seeming, virtue—for it is virtue’s self that quickens him, not virtue’s semblance.”

As humans, we try so hard sometimes to find a beautiful thing that we lose perspective of the fact that beauty is its own entity. God created many beautiful people, beautiful flowers, beautiful landscapes, and beautiful animals. Humans can create beautiful art, beautiful ideas, beautiful behaviors or actions. But all of these are merely vehicles to show us a small piece of the essence of Beauty. They are meant to be enjoyed and experienced but they themselves are not the soul of beauty. I resonate with Diotima’s claim that the very soul of Beauty is the God of all, who uses its allure and pleasure to call all men to Himself. She says that if we can find this essence we will never again be completely transfixed by the vehicle of the beauty but by the beloved that is ever behind the beauty.

Do I believe this? Can I see that my spirit and my soul are enlivened by the beauty around me? Yes. Undoubtably. And yet there are days when I wonder whether I trap myself by seeking beautiful things above beauty itself. Believing that there is someone greater behind the beauty is one thing, but training my soul to yearn for the maker of the beauty instead of the portrayal of it is something I’m still learning to do.

Yet I have to believe that despite my ability to completely miss the point, God places beauty in my day to day path anyway. He knows I might end up worshiping it rather than Him, but He is willing to place it there anyway because He is so ready to show me Himself.

If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

Round 3

I'm 3 and 1/2 weeks into school...and I'm already on round three. It is still SEPTEMBER, and I've had three rounds of sickness already. Amidst 70-90 degree weather and blue skies I've been carrying cold medicine and having to take naps. Weird. Round 1 consisted of a virulent head cold complete with sinus pressure, fever, and headache. 3 days after recovery, round 2 popped up, bringing some hefty coughing and overactive mucous membranes. "Recovered" again for 4 days this time, and today I contracted a very sore throat and body aches. Perhaps it was really all just one big "sick" bug...but either way it sucks. Bleh. No doubt about it, I've been thankful on logrithmic scales of late for ramen noodle soup, chai tea, and puffs with lotion.

My household is not fairing much better...between the 6 of us we had several colds, a sinus infection, bronchitus, and the flu in the past week. Campus also has a minimal number of strep cases already. What is going on??

All in all I'm frustrated but not too sick to function. Good thing too, cause the work load has been picking up the pace rapidly. For the first time in my college experience I am forced to stay completely on top of ALL of the reading for two of my science classes. No skimming suffices, and no cliff notes are avaliable (that I know of). My highlighters are getting good use, and the notecard stacks are inches thick already.

On the brighter side, I am thrilled to be learning things that are directly applicable to my medical future. Elated. Overjoyed!! So much fun to be seeing (finally) how chemical rules and interactions create clinical situations. My biochem class is eating my lunch when it comes to grades and the pending research paper...but in subject matter I couldn't be more facinated. This is where the terror that is Organic chemistry finally makes a few connections to what actually goes on in cells, DNA, and protiens. I still say that I didn't need 2 semesters of Organic to get a basis for all this, but maybe time will prove me wrong. Microbiology (that's the study of bacteria for you laymen out there) is a bit easy at the moment outside of some memorization of basic strains and shapes, but I'm sure it will pick up here soon. Physics is requiring some nearly painful scrapes of memory back to junior year of high school (and some dreaming about those days when we could "circle up" to do homework together). A chilled out and not-terribly-socially-akward teacher should make getting understanding not too difficult. :)

Out of the science building I'm in a global studies class called "Reclaiming Rhetorica...Feminist Rhetoric through the ages". It's a lesson in patience every time I walk in the room...I find it so hard to communicate with the professor because we aren't even in the same ballpark of understanding. Her entire premise is of complete equality for all types of people everwhere...including but not limited to gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. Not a bad premise I suppose from the point of view that God created all men and women in his image. But when we say that everyone is the same we are missing the point....and minimizing the beauty of individual, cultural, and gender diversity to an embarassing level. It's not that women shouldn't be given rights as human beings...it's that women were CREATED to be different...and we are robbing them of the ability to see the beauty in their differences. Good stuff for me to process...but I swear, if I hear that professor say the word "liberation" one more time I might have to start throwing my shoes or something. = )

I'm also taking voice lessons (my teacher is thrilled with all my illness as you can imagine...oh for the day when my voice will be normal again) and elbows deep into a new choir year...soo much fun to be back with all these fine musicians and anticipating a GREAT year which will end in a 12 day trip to China and Taiwan (which I have to learn to refer to as the same country before I go over there...) in May. Lots to learn and do before then, but a fun goal to look towards.

With "upperclassmen" thrust upon me like some "made in china" label, I am working through the new meanings of growing up. Lots of leadership in Intervarsity and an increased level of need for a more detail oriented personality. Also taking some leadership in choir and responsible for getting every girl some amount of fabric (preferably that covers her ankles) on her body before our first concert Saturday. This next month will also bring me to my first grad school interview/visit. I'm also being pushed towards chosing a senior research project and advisor for my honors thesis. Crazy times.

Loving the house, and enjoying having the family close enough to grab dinner with occasionally or have Casey over for a sleepover. Praise God for his insight in taking me out but leaving me close enough to help out and be helped occasionally.

Hoping that all of you are having a swimming semester...
Blessings~

Puddle day

It was one of those days

A bit overwhelming and a bit stressful. Lots of work on the horizon for the weekend and my first real look at calling up a grad school and saying "can I come visit?". Crazy. That part was the gloomy part...where the humidity was a bit too much (enough to drink) and the grey clouds seemed to swallow every ounce of vivid color in the world.

But a bit exhilerating too. A great choir rehersal, a breakthrough in biochem understanding, a good Intervarsity meeting, and a good chat with mother and sister both. That part was the puddles part. The parts of the day, and of life I would wager, which we happen upon a smooth pool of reflective particles. And at that point we have a choice. Do we wallow in the mundane and the distressing? Do we notice the undying grey that even the pool itself reflects? Or do we take half a second and enjoy the little bit of pleasure we feel with a satisfying splash??

It's not a coincidence that jumping in is the messier of the two options. Walking around the puddle keeps your pants cuffs drier and your hair more curled. And taking the time on "those days" to find the puddles and optimize them takes a bit more observation. And in the same way, giving energy to "extras" on grey days of life may seem a bit frustrating at first glance. But take a few seconds, or a few more words, or a bit more time, or an extra smile, and more often than not you leave feeling a bit more inspired and enthused than you came. And though you might be one minute late for class or have forgotten to eat breakfast, you'll be more ready to face the grey.

Someone asked me how my day was tonight and I had a tough time answering..."it was a puddle day" I said...and I think they might have taken that wrong. It wasn't a grey day as much as it was a day for makind decisions...and for being willing to put forth the skipping spring that could land me in a slurping, spitting, sparkling splash.

Settling in...

Still a few random posessions which haven't quite found a home
Still no pictures on the walls and too many hair products on my end table
Still trying to sort out how much "mess" will be acceptable in my new, smaller space

But it's getting close...

I moved in a little more than a week ago...I'm now living just off campus in "The Chateau"...a 3 story old house which has been well kept and has a big back yard, plenty of living space, a large kitchen, 6 bedrooms, and only 2 1/2 baths. My room overlooks the back yard on one side and the balcony (which I can access by climbing through the window) on the other. I'm also not facing any streets, which is very nice. I share the house with 5 other girls...all music majors of some kind or other and all very sweet. We've kept the place decently clean and have only struggled to find places to put all of our food.

Since I moved in I've learned:

-If the hamburger is already browned you can't put it in the skillet frozen and expect it not to burn
-Drinking a whole pot of coffee before bed really isn't a good idea
-Modesty is completely optional
-Brownies taste better when you put the eggs in
-The moon can be just as pretty in the city as out of it
-There comes a point in every laundry basket's life where the pleasure of putting it off one more day just doesn't help. On those days, like today, it's best to repeat the Nike mantra and "just do it"
-Money gets spent way faster than you realize it does
-Being a bit overly organized really does help things in the long run
-Having wireless internet is amazing...and an amazing distraction
-Eating more than 4 warm chocolate chunk cookies at a time is not a good plan
-It's easy to live in a house with 5 others and never see any of them...and it'll take intention to set this trend right

I've had lots of visitors in and out to see the house and hang out with the girls. We made cookies one night, made tacos another, watched a movie, chilled on the balcony, and even had a sleepover. It's been fun showing off my place and getting to invite people into my circle of friends. Matt came back this weekend after just a week away, which was fabulous. It was a long weekend so the house was busy and he got to be part of the chaos. Laura and her friend were also home from college for the weekend just in time for Heatherbug's 15th...we enjoyed an afternoon of boating with them and I will see them once more before they leave methinks.

Classes are going well...they will be more difficult but also much more applicable to "real life" (and by "real" I mean "more real" and by "life" I mean "grad school"). I'll have a lot of reading and a TON of study for my biochem class, but everything else looks quite manageable.

This week was NSO (new student outreach) for Intervarsity, which meant mostly that every night there was an event and follow up with new students to get to know them a bit better. We had about 65 people at our first Large Group worship service, which was phenomenal. More wonderful was the diversity of people that we met there who had very differing majors, backgrounds, and religious ideas. Exciting to see some "seekers" come and even hang out afterwards. Creating an inviting environment that isn't overwhelming but still speaks truth is difficult, and we are still working on the kinks. All in all I feel very positive about our first week and the other plans that we have coming up.

I've already contracted my first cold of the semester, leaving me achey and a bit stuffed up. Yet I'm doing my best to stay close to the tea pot and still get some stuff done. It's a beatiful fall day and I'm looking forward to enjoying some time outside. ...once I get that laundry done...

Hope all is well and that you are enjoying your new semester...Blessings,
Morgs