Birthday bashes, potlucks, wimps, and construction...

Well well well, lookie here...it's almost February! What?? February?

Indeed the days seem to fly right now. It's midnight and I have 3 other things I should be doing right now...but I had a few random events I wanted to chronicle before I get into the Word and then hit the hay. I know if I don't write them down now, they will slip through my fingers like so many poppyseeds...

Let's see...events recently include a surprise 50th birthday party for my dad, a not surprise 16th birthday party for Casey (license to follow in about 4 weeks...), work, school, a church potluck (and a hillarious convo involving boogered meat and spoons...), and an afternoon with my friend Cristina from Millikin. She is an absolute sweetie...I hope you all get to meet her some day. We frequented Culver's and had some very uplifting conversation...I anticipate a lasting and meaningful friendship with her!

School is in full swing and after just a week and a half I must admit I'm a little overwhelmed. Yet I love my classes, and I'm facinated with all that I'm finding there is to learn. I secretly laughed when my critter teacher told us the other day that "the more you know, the more you know"...but as I've pondered that phrase I've begun to wonder about what does happen when you know more. I got so curious that I wasted about 45 min the other day looking it up...here's some that I found:

"the more you know, the less you understand"
"the more you know, the more you sell"
"the more you know, the more you see, the more you percieve"
"the more you know, the more you know there's more to know"
"the more you know, the more options you have"
"the more you know, the harder it will be to make decisive choices"

...I could go on, but you get the point...and I'll let you decide which one is the most true or applicable. There's a point where I think all of us wonder, "where is this going?"...and yet I have been very convicted of late that God's purposes are not held outside of academia, though my friend Millikin would love for me to believe that. The God of all who fasioned our human minds in a way that we still don't comprehend surely wants us to put them to good use. There's something quickening and exciting about that truth...about the possiblity that all of this "know" could cause us to do some growing...and, Lord willing, some "doing" too.

Speaking of doing, I saw the movie "End of the Spear" twice this weekend...once with Cristina and again with my family and the Costerisans. As we walked out of the theater, my friend turned to me and said, "man, I feel like a wimp..." ...ditto...

If you haven't heard about it, it's the true story of the group of missionaries who were speared to death preaching to the native people of Equador. Jim Elliot, one of the 5 men killed, has had his story told often, but this movie was told from the perspective of the son of another missionary. His story is one of incredible courage, intense pain, and the battle for forgiveness and sacrifice in his own adult life. Although the message of the gospel is not as blatant as I would have liked, for those of us who know Christ's calling to "Preach the word," the challenge is as clear as it is frightening and breathtaking. I won't talk any more about it, but if you haven't seen it, I would give it a shot.

God has been doing some pretty tough chiseling on my heart in recent weeks...if you think of it, please pray for me. I guess you'd say I'm going through a little bit of a personal construction project...one whose end is not in sight but whose improvements I hope to see soon. Its funny how I never notice how big of a problem I have until I start trying to change it...thanks Lord for speaking clearly.

Well, tomorrow I have classes and/or babysitting from 8am to 9:30 pm straight...so it's really time I hit the hay...may he continue to bless you as you give your hearts to him...goodnight

Things I've done since friday (besides showers, sleep, and talking to myself)

Hey all...here's the story

It was more than a week ago that Dad and TJ left for choir tour in Florida (they spent the day in Disney yesterday...yeah, feel sorry for them), and on Friday afternoon Casey left to go to Snow Trip in WI (ok...now feel sorry for me...). The long and the short of it is that Mom and I are home alone and enjoying some amazingly kicked back time. It's fun to see mom cut loose and totally relax...she needed it! Here's what we did...

-Made puppy chow for the kiddies on Snow trip...yay for bus rides
-Went to see the kiddies off (in the middle of the biggest freezing rain storm I've ever seen)...the usual hour of chaos trying to get the vans loaded and decided how to "fairly" divide up the kids.
-Went to the mall...shopping for Dad's B-day and coffee with Mrs. Bostick and Mrs. Cos
-Got a pizza and watched tons of West Wing...the dog started barking a lot and we got spooked and called the Bosticks to come over...the dog barked more and we called the police. Nothing there...my dog is officially psyco...
-Watched the first Pink Panther...which I had never seen
-Went to lunch with Cheryl and Heather Cos...Heather and I got in a good chat which we rarely get to do...good times
-Started a quilting project for mom...More west wing...more Pink Panther...no more police
-Worked on my application for leadership team for Intervaristy
-More quilting
-More West Wing
-Church
-Work...finally something productive!!

Rumor has it that I might acutally have to start working hard again soon...they keep sending me text books in the mail...alright...I'll take the hint. I'm ready to start thowing myself into it again. I know that it's gonna be a tough semester...I have a very heavy load...but I'm ready for the challenge. A lot of my buddies from school come back today...yay for friends!!

If you're looking ahead and the future is cloudy or daunting, take comfort in Lamentations 3:21-23:

"This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!!"

Love, Peace, and Blessings to you all...
Me

Life is Beautiful

~I got called off work tonight
~I'm headed to see Pride and Prejudice in a few minutes with my sis and mom instead
~It's mid January and it's like 60 degrees and sunny out
~The doctors haven't found any cysts on me...yet
~I get to go to summit this summer
~I only have one more semester of my Freshman year in college
~I don't have to go back to school for 10 more days
~I've got a roof over my head right now...I'm typing on a laptop...
~my family hasn't kicked me out yet, even though there are days that I'm an impossible grouch
~I've eaten at Panera twice today
~There were two little kids at lunch...one sleeping in her carseat and one wide awake, standing in her mother's lap...who made me thankful to be alive today. Kids are facinating to watch

Man...life is sweet

Casey wrote a song (actually, she wrote a bunch but she won't let me hear them...) that she sang in church this morning. It's cool that I have a sister who is able to make beautiful music out of thoughts and feelings that seem to come out of my heart rather than hers...cool and scary how that works. Got to love being sisters!! :) I thought you might enjoy the lyrics...

Once again I come before you broken and afraid

Once again I feel my heart has given itself away

and I confess that I forgot whos life this was

And I want you to be the only thing to capture my heart with love

I've betrayed you Lord and maker over and over again

For useless gain with selfish thoughts I constantly trade you in

But if there's one who can forgive it's you alone

can you take back this rugged life I call my own?

So I turn again to you

And I remember that you are the one I've given myself to

And I pledge my love...again

Cause in this book of life I've promised you the pen

So here's my heart again

Casey Holmes...future awesome composer of the year...and my sister...who doesn't want this one here....hehe....she says it's copywrited...so don't steal it...

Blessings on your week...on a new semester and a new life. When we put our lives in his hands we can be confident that his mercies and grace are new EVERY MORNING...now THAT is truely beautiful. Peace

another year, another blog, another random ramble...

Hey y'all,

One year ago yesterday I started this blog. Its hard to believe it's been that long...even harder to believe how much things have changed since then. More and more I sense that life is kind of carrying me along with it, rather than allowing me to more or less have control. Perhaps that's just Gods way of trying to teach me some surrender and dependence right now. Then again perhaps that's just life.

We had a great Christmas...the day we spent alone (a wonderful contrast to our usual habit of either driving for 20+ hours to get somewhere or having a houseful of people for a week), but we had lots of parties with friends and family before, and so we enjoyed the peace. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved going to church that morning. Somehow the season just seemed weird to me this year. Fun, restful, but different. I had trouble getting into the christmas mood...singing and baking and seeing friends was a blast as always, but at times they lacked personal meaning. Anyway, something hit me like a major holiday wake up call that Christmas morning and by the time we hit the presents my heart was right and my spirit refreshed by the arrival of the tiny babe who is still chipping away at my heart.

We also got to visit our good friends Dennis and Donna in St. Louis this past week, we went shopping and saw their new house. It was awesome to re-connect and sit around a play games. We also ate at the best Italian restaraunt on the plannet, but that's another story.

Since today is also a sunday and our usual routine of staying up till all hours on new year's eve would not cut it for a saturday night, we held the annual new year's party at the Kneezels a night early. This not only totally threw off my calendar skills but made the party a few hours LONGER (if that was even possible) since we still stayed till midnight yesterday to count down and enjoy bubbly and fireworks on the deck. The families in our church are something very special...being with them is the safest feeling in the world. Jackie and I had a long talk about what it will be like in a few years when we all are married and have kids. Will we drag them along, raving about "what good friends these people are"...and will our children connect or sit and stare akwardly at each other while the parents talk? Idealy we will all live on the same street, our kids will be best friends, and yet another generation will grow up together...sharing everything from school homework to afternoon chores. But we all know that there may be a few hiccups in that plan. I hope though, that as we spread out and begin to make our own lives we will take the seasoning of this group with us. I hope that we can come close to building similar communities of believers wherever we are planted. I hope that with God's help, my own children will be supported and loved by so many wonderful people.

Well, there I go again, rambing as normal. The point is, Happy New Year everyone. See that horizon? Can you see past it? No, of course not...that's the point. It was extremely fitting that this morning our pastor preached a sermon on patience...trusting friends is the only way to live, to face that mountain range ahead, to enjoy the passing days without regretting their exit.



Blessings on your new year...praise him for his plans to use all of us to accomplish his purpose!!