hey everyone....
it's been a long time since I wrote...but I'm sitting on an hotel bed tired enough to sleep quite yet but a bit too tired to be social. There are 3 of us in the room and one more coming....we're chilling out and watching TV after meeting tonight at a great restaurant in town. It's Hilary's wedding weekend and after rehearsal dinner fun we are all a bit tired. But it's still fun to get to know each other and compiling blackmail on Hilary to be used down through the ages....
It's been a ridiculously hard week...I had a couple tests, a couple papers, and a couple of hum-dingers in the way of IV issues. But God is good and we got through it. This morning getting out of bed was a bit like pulling a mule through a paper towel roll...but a little caffeine and we are good to go.
Tonight driving up was so beautiful...the fields are all turning brown and yellow and red, and the sun was setting and fall was in the air like never before. I had a great talk with Laura, left a bunch of messages of other phones, and enjoyed the Caedmon's call title album about 3 times. For some reason I'm totally obsessed with them.
anyhoo, I'm headed to the wedding early tomorrow to press dresses and do hair for the bridesmaids. then tomorrow afternoon I'll head north to find Matt's high schoolers marching band competition. Then we are headed to DeKalb for a night to hang out and attend the 5th Annual DeKalb Kite Festival. hehe....it will be awesome.
well, we're getting tired here so I'll call it a night....
Friday, October 03, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Visual Evidence
I've been waiting to get pictures up here for more than a month now...and I'll wait no more!! Here's a few of my favorite shots and a slide show that I made of my experiences. Come and see me in another month or so and hopefully I'll have a book with prints in it. :)
This is Maggie, the owner of the bed and breakfast that we stayed in. She's a colorful Belgian woman who's late husband was a missionary to this area for 30 years. Dr. Matt (our internal med Doc) is with her.
Our accommodations at "Blue Sky" bed and breakfast...2 people to a room with real beds, electricity, and a privative version of running water...we were in the RITZ
View of the Indian ocean from the porch of my cottage. Try not to drool. God gave us a wonderful gift when He put us in such a comfortable and refreshing location.
Sorting medicines on our first morning in Kikumbala...we brought 10 suitcases of meds, supplies, and toys to give away. All the supplies were divided into 4 piles for the 4 different clinic sites we visited.
One of the many pharmacies that can be found in Kikumbala area...there is no shortage of quantity or types of medicines, and you can buy them without a prescription. But even at fractions of the cost of medicine in America, most people can't afford even simple pain killers.
Arriving to our clinic sites each morning was often overwhelming...anywhere from 50-200 people would be already waiting when we pulled up to the church. A few of our site days we had to close the doors immediately when we arrived, knowing that we would not be able to see more than the patients already in the building.
First Station in the clinic: vital signs and triage
Next stop: provider care stations. 2 doctors and 2 nurses worked individually and on teams to see patients at up to 4 stations. Here our team leader, Dr. Leanne sees a patient while educating Andrew (a med student in Kansas) about how to perform a basic "well child" physical
Many of our patients required de-worming medicines or one-time oral antibiotics. Here we administer oral parasite medicine to a 14 month old baby.
A vast majority of our patients had some form of wound that needed to be cleaned, removed, disinfected, or bandaged. Here, nurse Nancy cleanses and debreeds a diabetic ulcer on a woman's foot. Diabetes can be detrimental to the circulation of the outer extremities, so even minor infections can cause great trouble and even self-amputation, as seen in this woman's big toe.
Our oral ear-wash station. Many patients had impacted ears which increase the chance for infections and hearing loss.
After visiting providers and wound care, patients dropped their "prescriptions" at our pharmacy, where we sorted medicines and reduced large bottles into appropriate doses.
While patients waited for their prescriptions to be filled, each one was prayed with and counseled by pastors and elders of the church. Many of these conversations became gospel presentations and conversion experiences. We were thrilled to be able to provide a venue for these talks to take place and make way for lasting relationships between people and the Church.
Julia is a native from Mombassa who just finished pharmacy school in Kenya. She was an absolute Godsend, who helped to explain medication dosage and purposes to all of our patients.
This is hard work!! Taking some time off to play with children at Wema Center orphanage, where we held one of our clinic sites.
The four students (and the partners in crime) on the trip. From left to right, Rebecca (22, student from Los Angeles, anticipating Medical school in Summer 09), Lisa (21, Senior Nursing Major from South Dakota) , Me, and Andrew (21, entering medical school at KS university this August)
Our team with some of our ground crew after our clinic days in Rabbai. We were served coconut milk right out of the fruit in thanks for our work there.
This is Maggie, the owner of the bed and breakfast that we stayed in. She's a colorful Belgian woman who's late husband was a missionary to this area for 30 years. Dr. Matt (our internal med Doc) is with her.
Our accommodations at "Blue Sky" bed and breakfast...2 people to a room with real beds, electricity, and a privative version of running water...we were in the RITZ
View of the Indian ocean from the porch of my cottage. Try not to drool. God gave us a wonderful gift when He put us in such a comfortable and refreshing location. 
Sorting medicines on our first morning in Kikumbala...we brought 10 suitcases of meds, supplies, and toys to give away. All the supplies were divided into 4 piles for the 4 different clinic sites we visited. 
One of the many pharmacies that can be found in Kikumbala area...there is no shortage of quantity or types of medicines, and you can buy them without a prescription. But even at fractions of the cost of medicine in America, most people can't afford even simple pain killers.
Arriving to our clinic sites each morning was often overwhelming...anywhere from 50-200 people would be already waiting when we pulled up to the church. A few of our site days we had to close the doors immediately when we arrived, knowing that we would not be able to see more than the patients already in the building.
First Station in the clinic: vital signs and triage
Next stop: provider care stations. 2 doctors and 2 nurses worked individually and on teams to see patients at up to 4 stations. Here our team leader, Dr. Leanne sees a patient while educating Andrew (a med student in Kansas) about how to perform a basic "well child" physical
Many of our patients required de-worming medicines or one-time oral antibiotics. Here we administer oral parasite medicine to a 14 month old baby. 
A vast majority of our patients had some form of wound that needed to be cleaned, removed, disinfected, or bandaged. Here, nurse Nancy cleanses and debreeds a diabetic ulcer on a woman's foot. Diabetes can be detrimental to the circulation of the outer extremities, so even minor infections can cause great trouble and even self-amputation, as seen in this woman's big toe. 
Our oral ear-wash station. Many patients had impacted ears which increase the chance for infections and hearing loss. 
After visiting providers and wound care, patients dropped their "prescriptions" at our pharmacy, where we sorted medicines and reduced large bottles into appropriate doses. 
While patients waited for their prescriptions to be filled, each one was prayed with and counseled by pastors and elders of the church. Many of these conversations became gospel presentations and conversion experiences. We were thrilled to be able to provide a venue for these talks to take place and make way for lasting relationships between people and the Church. 
Julia is a native from Mombassa who just finished pharmacy school in Kenya. She was an absolute Godsend, who helped to explain medication dosage and purposes to all of our patients. 
This is hard work!! Taking some time off to play with children at Wema Center orphanage, where we held one of our clinic sites.
The four students (and the partners in crime) on the trip. From left to right, Rebecca (22, student from Los Angeles, anticipating Medical school in Summer 09), Lisa (21, Senior Nursing Major from South Dakota) , Me, and Andrew (21, entering medical school at KS university this August)
Our team with some of our ground crew after our clinic days in Rabbai. We were served coconut milk right out of the fruit in thanks for our work there.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
appraising
for two weeks I've been home and I still haven't written my final update.
two weeks of catching up on sleep.
two weeks of patiently waiting for my intestines to stop doing the "hate the USA" dance.
two weeks of editing pictures in awe of what I saw.
two weeks of staring at pieces of notebook paper and writing nothing.
Being a girl who normally thrives on busyness and activity, I've been strangely reclusive and quiet of late. I find myself sitting around and just being...leaving voice mails (which I usually listen to at the first avaliable moment) for hours and even days without listening to them. I'm so happy to be home. Glad to see familiar faces and hear the stories of what life was while I was gone. Glad to get back to a hot shower and water pressure. Glad to hand out trinkets and souvineirs from my trip, telling stories of the strange places I found them.
But something in me is certainly not yet settled. The culture shock has been more subtle than I expected but it's definitely there. So much of everything around me seems foreign and in little ways it wears me down. Driving for the first week was very strange, and I found myself subconciously driving 10 or 15 miles under the speed limit across large stretches of highway. All the rooms are sealed from the outdoors completely...no wind blowing in under the eaves, no sound of trees and ocean coming into my bedroom. The food comes in packages and the fruit doesn't fall off of the trees. My phone keeps ringing and I can't seem to really TALK to anyone...not because they aren't listening but just because I can't seem to put a full sentance together and still have it mean anything.
I've had happy reunions with many good friends over the last few days, and the smiles and hugs and questions are all welcome and warm...but I'm still learning how to respond and trying to push myself to engage the fellowship to be had around me.
My heart is still there.
Looking back on the trip there's no way, really, to appraise its value. No way to sum up in a few words what it did for me. No way to truly know what it did for others. I want to be able to say that what we did there had real value...lasting meaning...an impact that will have eternal consequences. But I don't know.
All told we saw 2,003 patients. Who knows how many prescriptions we wrote or how many hours we spent in the matatu. When we ran out of medicines, many of us gave away all the advil and tums that we had brought along for ourselves. We left clothing, gifts, and e-mails there. We brought gifts and pictures and some body weight back. But none of that means anything. It's just numbers and calculations.
As feelings of insufficiency and questions of value creep in around me I wonder if I somehow missed my purpose there. I feel in some ways like I never really got to KNOW my roommate...like I didn't ask all the right questions and didn't give the right kind of support. I feel like I should have been able to give more to the patients. More time...more love...more hope. I feel like I should have been able to give more than band-aids and hugs. I feel like I spent so much time analyzing God that at some times I may have missed his presence there.
And I have to keep reminding myself that all of the frustration that I feel--for the work "undone" and the surface only faintly scratched--is really because of a greater feeling that something DID happen there. It wasn't just a trip...it wasn't just a life experience...it wasn't just a chance to learn a new language and hang out with people who have darker skin. Something was working there under the surface. Something that I thought I understood but really had never fully seen. And while we were there, somewhere along the line, I saw deep in the ocean a small part of a shadow...a vast, dark, beautiful shadow moving through the water. And the glimpse was enough to convince me that I might never be able to view even the shadow in full. It was scary and depressing and awe inspiring and joyous all at once. And through the days as I caught little hints of the shadow here and there I began to believe in it more and more.
There were days that I could not explain the joy that I felt. There were days that my fatigue seemed to be the only thing to occupy my mind. There were days that my heart was so broken for the people we turned away at the door that I almost resented the people who had made it to the doctors. So much of my trip was learning that my heart is not aware of where the shadow is going...how or why it moves...how it guides me. And while the logistics and specifics of this trip could not have run more smoothly, the mental and emotional side of it was messy and unpredictable. Nothing about the way that my heart was stirred or my mind was confused could have been expained to me beforehand. Even now, I can't quite explain it to myself.
My team leader, Leanne, who has become something of a hero to me, was careful to show us a key scipture during our last few days on site. It comes from Paul's final letter to the Corinthians.
"Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others...for Christ's love compells us. Since we believe that Christ died for all we also believe that we have died to our old life. He died of everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...theis means that anyone who beliongs to Christ has become a new person. The Old life is gone, and a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him. For God was in Chist, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And He gave US this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ's ambassadors."
(II Corinthians 5)
Our leader was careful to emphasize that the success or excitement or fulfillment of a medical mission is not about how much we love people or about how much we love God, but about how much God loves us. About how He sent His son into the world so that we could be taken over by his love and beomce the face of His fogiveness to the world. what and incredible privillege and what a great mystery...that a soft thing like love could control and compell us--causing me to finally become significant. But first I must be dead...completely willing to be controlled...a living sacrifice.
As we shared communion in the pitch dark out on the beach, Leanne brought us a loaf of bread and some shot glasses full of apple juice. "This is Christ's Body...broken for YOU for the forgiveness of sins" ...for the sharing of the message of reconciliation. For the giving of the joy of freedom. For the invitation to a life on an altar. For the preparing of a place in heaven. For the experience of a compelled life on earth.
Oh God, forgive me for my pride as I headed into my trip expecting and praying to change and impact people as a result of my great love for them and for Him. There is NOTHING that my love can do for others. But oh...to be compelled. To be a part of that message. To be swept away by the beauty of the story so often that my life has to follow. That is a life worth living...worth sharing...worth dying for every day.
My heart aches and my eyes fill up again as a piece of the shadow once again becomes visible. I will no longer ask for miracles, or ask to see how my life fits into the greater scene. I'll only ask to keep seeing glimpses of His love...and to keep seeing my value in the way that he compells me to love. I pray that somehow I will keep this mystery fresh every day...keep seeking out that great love that gave up everything for me.
In the next few days I'll put some pictures up and perhaps post a copy of the presentation I'm giving to my church. Until then please pray for clarity and peace as I continue to re-adjust to life here. Thank you all for your unending prayers and support.
May the God of love compell you...
two weeks of catching up on sleep.
two weeks of patiently waiting for my intestines to stop doing the "hate the USA" dance.
two weeks of editing pictures in awe of what I saw.
two weeks of staring at pieces of notebook paper and writing nothing.
Being a girl who normally thrives on busyness and activity, I've been strangely reclusive and quiet of late. I find myself sitting around and just being...leaving voice mails (which I usually listen to at the first avaliable moment) for hours and even days without listening to them. I'm so happy to be home. Glad to see familiar faces and hear the stories of what life was while I was gone. Glad to get back to a hot shower and water pressure. Glad to hand out trinkets and souvineirs from my trip, telling stories of the strange places I found them.
But something in me is certainly not yet settled. The culture shock has been more subtle than I expected but it's definitely there. So much of everything around me seems foreign and in little ways it wears me down. Driving for the first week was very strange, and I found myself subconciously driving 10 or 15 miles under the speed limit across large stretches of highway. All the rooms are sealed from the outdoors completely...no wind blowing in under the eaves, no sound of trees and ocean coming into my bedroom. The food comes in packages and the fruit doesn't fall off of the trees. My phone keeps ringing and I can't seem to really TALK to anyone...not because they aren't listening but just because I can't seem to put a full sentance together and still have it mean anything.
I've had happy reunions with many good friends over the last few days, and the smiles and hugs and questions are all welcome and warm...but I'm still learning how to respond and trying to push myself to engage the fellowship to be had around me.
My heart is still there.
Looking back on the trip there's no way, really, to appraise its value. No way to sum up in a few words what it did for me. No way to truly know what it did for others. I want to be able to say that what we did there had real value...lasting meaning...an impact that will have eternal consequences. But I don't know.
All told we saw 2,003 patients. Who knows how many prescriptions we wrote or how many hours we spent in the matatu. When we ran out of medicines, many of us gave away all the advil and tums that we had brought along for ourselves. We left clothing, gifts, and e-mails there. We brought gifts and pictures and some body weight back. But none of that means anything. It's just numbers and calculations.
As feelings of insufficiency and questions of value creep in around me I wonder if I somehow missed my purpose there. I feel in some ways like I never really got to KNOW my roommate...like I didn't ask all the right questions and didn't give the right kind of support. I feel like I should have been able to give more to the patients. More time...more love...more hope. I feel like I should have been able to give more than band-aids and hugs. I feel like I spent so much time analyzing God that at some times I may have missed his presence there.
And I have to keep reminding myself that all of the frustration that I feel--for the work "undone" and the surface only faintly scratched--is really because of a greater feeling that something DID happen there. It wasn't just a trip...it wasn't just a life experience...it wasn't just a chance to learn a new language and hang out with people who have darker skin. Something was working there under the surface. Something that I thought I understood but really had never fully seen. And while we were there, somewhere along the line, I saw deep in the ocean a small part of a shadow...a vast, dark, beautiful shadow moving through the water. And the glimpse was enough to convince me that I might never be able to view even the shadow in full. It was scary and depressing and awe inspiring and joyous all at once. And through the days as I caught little hints of the shadow here and there I began to believe in it more and more.
There were days that I could not explain the joy that I felt. There were days that my fatigue seemed to be the only thing to occupy my mind. There were days that my heart was so broken for the people we turned away at the door that I almost resented the people who had made it to the doctors. So much of my trip was learning that my heart is not aware of where the shadow is going...how or why it moves...how it guides me. And while the logistics and specifics of this trip could not have run more smoothly, the mental and emotional side of it was messy and unpredictable. Nothing about the way that my heart was stirred or my mind was confused could have been expained to me beforehand. Even now, I can't quite explain it to myself.
My team leader, Leanne, who has become something of a hero to me, was careful to show us a key scipture during our last few days on site. It comes from Paul's final letter to the Corinthians.
"Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others...for Christ's love compells us. Since we believe that Christ died for all we also believe that we have died to our old life. He died of everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...theis means that anyone who beliongs to Christ has become a new person. The Old life is gone, and a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him. For God was in Chist, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And He gave US this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ's ambassadors."
(II Corinthians 5)
Our leader was careful to emphasize that the success or excitement or fulfillment of a medical mission is not about how much we love people or about how much we love God, but about how much God loves us. About how He sent His son into the world so that we could be taken over by his love and beomce the face of His fogiveness to the world. what and incredible privillege and what a great mystery...that a soft thing like love could control and compell us--causing me to finally become significant. But first I must be dead...completely willing to be controlled...a living sacrifice.
As we shared communion in the pitch dark out on the beach, Leanne brought us a loaf of bread and some shot glasses full of apple juice. "This is Christ's Body...broken for YOU for the forgiveness of sins" ...for the sharing of the message of reconciliation. For the giving of the joy of freedom. For the invitation to a life on an altar. For the preparing of a place in heaven. For the experience of a compelled life on earth.
Oh God, forgive me for my pride as I headed into my trip expecting and praying to change and impact people as a result of my great love for them and for Him. There is NOTHING that my love can do for others. But oh...to be compelled. To be a part of that message. To be swept away by the beauty of the story so often that my life has to follow. That is a life worth living...worth sharing...worth dying for every day.
My heart aches and my eyes fill up again as a piece of the shadow once again becomes visible. I will no longer ask for miracles, or ask to see how my life fits into the greater scene. I'll only ask to keep seeing glimpses of His love...and to keep seeing my value in the way that he compells me to love. I pray that somehow I will keep this mystery fresh every day...keep seeking out that great love that gave up everything for me.
In the next few days I'll put some pictures up and perhaps post a copy of the presentation I'm giving to my church. Until then please pray for clarity and peace as I continue to re-adjust to life here. Thank you all for your unending prayers and support.
May the God of love compell you...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
appreciating
today appreciation is the thing that stands out...
appreciation that the 80 year old mother of our team leader who fell in a store the other day broke only her arm and not her hip.
appreciation that today we sat in a service of a house church...it meets in an open air shack and has about 8 people in membership thus far (they are a little less than a year old). They preach the gospel face forward and are strong in both spirit and truth. Their worship lasted 30 minutes and ended with a bi-lingual version of "Amazing Grace" and "How great thou art" that reduced me to tears.
appreciation that I have had some time to kick back, read, and catch up on sleep the past two days...which have both refreshed me and renewed a fresh energy and passion for the coming days.
After our grueling days in Rabai (where we saw 310 patients on the last day alone) we were ready for a few days at the orphanage. These work days were shorter, the patients smaller, and the population generally healthier. It was wonderful to return to our housing before dark and have some energy for a card game or a devotional or a chat in the evening after dinner.
A few nights ago I found myself on the beach very late at night with my teammates Matt (a internal med doctor) and Andrew (a med student from Kansas city). We watched the stars in awe, admiring a completely new hemisphere that blended perfectly with some familiar constalations usually on the opposite horizon in the northern hemisphere. Matt is a buff and pointed out Scorpio and the southern cross (stop drooling, Dad...) and we also saw a meteor shower. As we walked along to get away from the lights, the moon began to rise over the Indian Ocean...as sight that definitely made my top 5 "life beauty moments"...it was absolutely breathtaking. We stood in silence and watched if for a full 30 minutes, and finally, after feeling our human frailty in full form, returned to the cabins for sleep.
Tonight our host is throwing a big party with authentic African food and lots of decorations. It will be open to the public but we will be honored guests. The people here are the warmest and kindest I've ever met. We can't deserve their hospitality.
The bus is leaving in 3 minutes, so I must scoot...more soon.
Please pray for us this week as we have 5 straight days of work in 2 different sights, both of which will have high populations and pretty sick people. I'm looking forward to another report next week!!
Love and miss you all,
morgs
appreciation that the 80 year old mother of our team leader who fell in a store the other day broke only her arm and not her hip.
appreciation that today we sat in a service of a house church...it meets in an open air shack and has about 8 people in membership thus far (they are a little less than a year old). They preach the gospel face forward and are strong in both spirit and truth. Their worship lasted 30 minutes and ended with a bi-lingual version of "Amazing Grace" and "How great thou art" that reduced me to tears.
appreciation that I have had some time to kick back, read, and catch up on sleep the past two days...which have both refreshed me and renewed a fresh energy and passion for the coming days.
After our grueling days in Rabai (where we saw 310 patients on the last day alone) we were ready for a few days at the orphanage. These work days were shorter, the patients smaller, and the population generally healthier. It was wonderful to return to our housing before dark and have some energy for a card game or a devotional or a chat in the evening after dinner.
A few nights ago I found myself on the beach very late at night with my teammates Matt (a internal med doctor) and Andrew (a med student from Kansas city). We watched the stars in awe, admiring a completely new hemisphere that blended perfectly with some familiar constalations usually on the opposite horizon in the northern hemisphere. Matt is a buff and pointed out Scorpio and the southern cross (stop drooling, Dad...) and we also saw a meteor shower. As we walked along to get away from the lights, the moon began to rise over the Indian Ocean...as sight that definitely made my top 5 "life beauty moments"...it was absolutely breathtaking. We stood in silence and watched if for a full 30 minutes, and finally, after feeling our human frailty in full form, returned to the cabins for sleep.
Tonight our host is throwing a big party with authentic African food and lots of decorations. It will be open to the public but we will be honored guests. The people here are the warmest and kindest I've ever met. We can't deserve their hospitality.
The bus is leaving in 3 minutes, so I must scoot...more soon.
Please pray for us this week as we have 5 straight days of work in 2 different sights, both of which will have high populations and pretty sick people. I'm looking forward to another report next week!!
Love and miss you all,
morgs
Thursday, June 26, 2008
adjusting
Greetings from Kikumbala.
It is Thursday afternoon here and we are taking a free day today to recover from all of the chaos and bustle the past three days. It is a much needed break...and I enjoyed the chance to sleep in till 8:15 this morning immensely.
Everything about this culture is different and fascinating. I cannot begin to describe all the things that there are to learn and adjust to. I've picked up enough Swahili to make it through the day...though we all rely heavily on our translators. I'm also adjusting to the hygiene here. We are blessed to have running water in our 4X5 foot bathroom...a shower head that protrudes from the wall spills a very cold, very narrow stream of water almost directly over the toilet seat...which makes showering an activity better suited for a contortionist than a medical student. But, we are coming to appreciate our digs more and more as we see what this country considers "normal".
The past three days we have been in Rabai doing medical clinics. Rabai is about 40 miles from Kikumbala, where we are staying, but due to traffic and bad road ways, it usually takes us about 1.5 to 2.5 hours to get there. We make this trip in a Matatu or taxi, which is about 4 feet longer than a mini van and maybe 1.5 feet wider. Into this vehicle we cram our 10 team members, 3 interpreters, the site coordinator, and our driver...as well as water, medicine, and supplies for the day. All told, the trip is one of the more challenging forms of transport I've ever encountered. I will never complain about inadequate leg room in the states again. :)
Our days at Rabai were taxing but very good. We did the clinics in an anglican church there (which was actually the first anglican church ever established in east africa...built in 1876). On our arrival each morning there were typically 80-150 people sitting in line. They were registered by locals of the village, had blood pressures taken, and then triaged as they waited to see the doctors and nurses. Our pharmacy then filled prescriptions as rapidly as possible..bagging, labeling, and pouring medications into anything that would hold them. We are giving primarily pain meds, stomach meds, antibiotics, antifungals, and de-worming or parasite treatments...but we have seen a large variety of cases. One of our doctors is an internal med guy, and the other, our team leader, is a family practice doctor. We also have an orthopaedic, an emergency, and a OR nurse (1 each) so we feel that there is a good spread of "specialty" to match the patients we are seeing.
But however prepared we come with medicines or knowledge base, I am learning that nothing ever feels like enough. And with limited supplies we often have the heartbreaking task of handing 20 multivitamins and 15 aspirin to a man who probably as chronic heart disease and a tumor. There is such immense need here and only so much that a temporary team of 10 can do. I have wrestled with this quite a bit in the past few days, especially as I hear people telling me that there is a perception among these people that those with white skin (the same as the first missionaries to the area) have the power to heal in very dramatic ways. We know that we cannot. It hurts me to feel so insufficient around these people...and to turn them away by the hundreds on the last day of the camp because supplies and time have simply run out. In a country with so much need, generosity will never be undesired, and the gift of health is a currency most cannot afford.
It has struck me often the past few days that I have always heard about the medical needs here and felt saddened that I could do nothing about it from 8,000 miles away. And yet, after our second day of clinic it struck me that I feel the same way. Here I am, right in the middle of all this need...and I still feel helpless in many ways. This, of course, is probably the point of taking a trip like this...to realize how powerless I am, and how quickly my generosity and kindess becomes stretched amongst so much need. I am praying desperately that God strips me of my own sense of sufficiency and strength and shows me my own weaknesses. He is doing so on an hourly basis and with increasing intensity.
At the same time, I also am praying that he will show me a miracle. I need to see in the midst of so much poverty and sickness that God is working through us even if my work seems to be just a band aid or a temporary help. I am impressed by the thoughtfulness of this ministry in the way that they set up the clinics. There is a huge amount of intentionality about who does what, so that everything is centered around the church. There is very little time for us to build any relationships while we are here...but the clinic is designed to bring favor to the church body in the village, so that after we leave they can continue to minister and witness to these people. In small villages so isolated from modern society...the church has much more potential to be the epicenter of the village life...providing support physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After the doctors see the patients they bring their prescriptions to the pharmacy and then move to the "spiritual care" area. Here, members from the local church are waiting to pray over the sick and talk with the poor and downtrodden. They are encouraged not to press for a conversion experience, but to be open and inquisitive into the lives of the people they meet, developing a relationship with those who are in need and beginning to show them how the love of Christ can meet their needs, and is doing so before their eyes.
I wish that my Swahili was such that I could listen to these conversations...but while I'm in the pharmacy bagging my 700th bag of multivitamins of the day, I am praying for them as well.
The pharmacy has been my main job since I've been here...in fact I have sort of become the unspoken supervisor over 2-3 other students, a translator who is a pharmacist and helps with patient education of the drugs, and our team leader's mother. This has been a great learning experience. I've also been able to tag along and shadow the family practice doctor a lot. More on her later...she is an inspirational compassionate doctor and a strong and passionate woman of God. I am so blessed to get to know her over the next week and a half.
Well...my internet bill is running up and I must move along...my e-mail has not been working well here so this may be my main form of communication...check back next week for more.
Missing home but loving it here as well...blessings,
morgan
It is Thursday afternoon here and we are taking a free day today to recover from all of the chaos and bustle the past three days. It is a much needed break...and I enjoyed the chance to sleep in till 8:15 this morning immensely.
Everything about this culture is different and fascinating. I cannot begin to describe all the things that there are to learn and adjust to. I've picked up enough Swahili to make it through the day...though we all rely heavily on our translators. I'm also adjusting to the hygiene here. We are blessed to have running water in our 4X5 foot bathroom...a shower head that protrudes from the wall spills a very cold, very narrow stream of water almost directly over the toilet seat...which makes showering an activity better suited for a contortionist than a medical student. But, we are coming to appreciate our digs more and more as we see what this country considers "normal".
The past three days we have been in Rabai doing medical clinics. Rabai is about 40 miles from Kikumbala, where we are staying, but due to traffic and bad road ways, it usually takes us about 1.5 to 2.5 hours to get there. We make this trip in a Matatu or taxi, which is about 4 feet longer than a mini van and maybe 1.5 feet wider. Into this vehicle we cram our 10 team members, 3 interpreters, the site coordinator, and our driver...as well as water, medicine, and supplies for the day. All told, the trip is one of the more challenging forms of transport I've ever encountered. I will never complain about inadequate leg room in the states again. :)
Our days at Rabai were taxing but very good. We did the clinics in an anglican church there (which was actually the first anglican church ever established in east africa...built in 1876). On our arrival each morning there were typically 80-150 people sitting in line. They were registered by locals of the village, had blood pressures taken, and then triaged as they waited to see the doctors and nurses. Our pharmacy then filled prescriptions as rapidly as possible..bagging, labeling, and pouring medications into anything that would hold them. We are giving primarily pain meds, stomach meds, antibiotics, antifungals, and de-worming or parasite treatments...but we have seen a large variety of cases. One of our doctors is an internal med guy, and the other, our team leader, is a family practice doctor. We also have an orthopaedic, an emergency, and a OR nurse (1 each) so we feel that there is a good spread of "specialty" to match the patients we are seeing.
But however prepared we come with medicines or knowledge base, I am learning that nothing ever feels like enough. And with limited supplies we often have the heartbreaking task of handing 20 multivitamins and 15 aspirin to a man who probably as chronic heart disease and a tumor. There is such immense need here and only so much that a temporary team of 10 can do. I have wrestled with this quite a bit in the past few days, especially as I hear people telling me that there is a perception among these people that those with white skin (the same as the first missionaries to the area) have the power to heal in very dramatic ways. We know that we cannot. It hurts me to feel so insufficient around these people...and to turn them away by the hundreds on the last day of the camp because supplies and time have simply run out. In a country with so much need, generosity will never be undesired, and the gift of health is a currency most cannot afford.
It has struck me often the past few days that I have always heard about the medical needs here and felt saddened that I could do nothing about it from 8,000 miles away. And yet, after our second day of clinic it struck me that I feel the same way. Here I am, right in the middle of all this need...and I still feel helpless in many ways. This, of course, is probably the point of taking a trip like this...to realize how powerless I am, and how quickly my generosity and kindess becomes stretched amongst so much need. I am praying desperately that God strips me of my own sense of sufficiency and strength and shows me my own weaknesses. He is doing so on an hourly basis and with increasing intensity.
At the same time, I also am praying that he will show me a miracle. I need to see in the midst of so much poverty and sickness that God is working through us even if my work seems to be just a band aid or a temporary help. I am impressed by the thoughtfulness of this ministry in the way that they set up the clinics. There is a huge amount of intentionality about who does what, so that everything is centered around the church. There is very little time for us to build any relationships while we are here...but the clinic is designed to bring favor to the church body in the village, so that after we leave they can continue to minister and witness to these people. In small villages so isolated from modern society...the church has much more potential to be the epicenter of the village life...providing support physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After the doctors see the patients they bring their prescriptions to the pharmacy and then move to the "spiritual care" area. Here, members from the local church are waiting to pray over the sick and talk with the poor and downtrodden. They are encouraged not to press for a conversion experience, but to be open and inquisitive into the lives of the people they meet, developing a relationship with those who are in need and beginning to show them how the love of Christ can meet their needs, and is doing so before their eyes.
I wish that my Swahili was such that I could listen to these conversations...but while I'm in the pharmacy bagging my 700th bag of multivitamins of the day, I am praying for them as well.
The pharmacy has been my main job since I've been here...in fact I have sort of become the unspoken supervisor over 2-3 other students, a translator who is a pharmacist and helps with patient education of the drugs, and our team leader's mother. This has been a great learning experience. I've also been able to tag along and shadow the family practice doctor a lot. More on her later...she is an inspirational compassionate doctor and a strong and passionate woman of God. I am so blessed to get to know her over the next week and a half.
Well...my internet bill is running up and I must move along...my e-mail has not been working well here so this may be my main form of communication...check back next week for more.
Missing home but loving it here as well...blessings,
morgan
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Awakening
Yes...its true...I'm still waking up from travel fog. This morning it took me a good 3 minutes to realize that the pounding on my door was from outside...that it was morning time...that the pounding was a knock from my team leader...and that I was supposed to get UP and answer it. :)
From beneath my mosquito netting and horizontal for the first time in 2 days, needless to say I was hard to arouse.
But beyond me awakening to my brain functions, I'm amazed again at how I'm awakening to the world, to myself, and to why God might have put me here as I drive around the streets of the village today. We have been taking some much needed rest...had a great team devotional this morning, dicussing God's purposes for us, then had some time to talk about how our clinics will run logistically. We then spent all morning and early afternoon sorting medicines into small packages to hand out at clinic sites. We've had a good chance to see much of what our team dynamics will be but in a more relaxed environment. On our trip there are 2 doctors, 3 nurses, a retired nurse, 4 students including me, and the mother of our team leader...who is just along to help where she can. The variety of ages (20-75??) and geographical locations in the states (California to Illinois) is really cool. I'm looking forward to knowing them better.
My roomate situation may prove to be interesting...she seems like a nice girl but has been quite stoic since we arrived...perhaps because she isn't feeling well. At any rate..pray for me on that one.
We've been well fed...the travel was quite smooth all things considered...and we've already done a lot of shopping this morning (for THE shoes...) We are happy to be here!!
Pray for us tomorrow as we connect with and worship the church that we are attending and as we prepare for our first clinic day Monday AM.
Love and miss you all...
Morgs
From beneath my mosquito netting and horizontal for the first time in 2 days, needless to say I was hard to arouse.
But beyond me awakening to my brain functions, I'm amazed again at how I'm awakening to the world, to myself, and to why God might have put me here as I drive around the streets of the village today. We have been taking some much needed rest...had a great team devotional this morning, dicussing God's purposes for us, then had some time to talk about how our clinics will run logistically. We then spent all morning and early afternoon sorting medicines into small packages to hand out at clinic sites. We've had a good chance to see much of what our team dynamics will be but in a more relaxed environment. On our trip there are 2 doctors, 3 nurses, a retired nurse, 4 students including me, and the mother of our team leader...who is just along to help where she can. The variety of ages (20-75??) and geographical locations in the states (California to Illinois) is really cool. I'm looking forward to knowing them better.
My roomate situation may prove to be interesting...she seems like a nice girl but has been quite stoic since we arrived...perhaps because she isn't feeling well. At any rate..pray for me on that one.
We've been well fed...the travel was quite smooth all things considered...and we've already done a lot of shopping this morning (for THE shoes...) We are happy to be here!!
Pray for us tomorrow as we connect with and worship the church that we are attending and as we prepare for our first clinic day Monday AM.
Love and miss you all...
Morgs
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Bon Voyage...
10 minutes or so and we'll be in the car driving...it's time to go to KENYA!
I have very little time, but wanted to pass along a bit of info while I can. I will hopefully be updating my blog a couple of times while I'm there via Internet cafe, and of course catching you up on everything on my return.
I'm a bit nervous this morning about the fact that I'm getting on a plane to go meet a bunch of strangers to do something medically related (I really don't know too many details)in a country I've never been to. This sounded fun 4 months ago...and I'm sure it will be fun in the end...but please pray for me today as I meet my team in Detroit and get to know them on the next three flights.
We will land in Mombasa sometime Mid-afternoon (US time) on Friday...then bus over to the compound where we are staying. Again, please pray for safe travel, smooth entry into the country, and a timely entrance. We are going to need our rest before we can be at all helpful to others!!
While I'm away I'm praying that God is mightily teaching me. Its always hard I think to learn while there are tons of people around...so the solitude of this trip might be exactly what He has in mind to get me alone with him and close to his heart.
Pray for the patients we encounter.
Pray for opportunities to share about our faith.
Pray for a good bond between team members.
Pray for good health for the team.
But most of all, pray that the name of God will be glorified in our work.
Love and will miss you all...
Morgan
Sunday, June 08, 2008
midsummer night's eve
ok...so the title is a little nuts...but it was all I could come up with.
It's been so long since I sat down to blog just because I didn't have anything better to do and wanted to clear my head a bit. Actually, I technically haven't unpacked from China yet...so that's definitely something I SHOULD be doing...but lets be honest...it's not high on the priorities list.
The past few days have been a wonderful little re-visit to life in the states. I started working at the hospital again...which was actually quite a good feeling. I also finally got to start playing catch up with everyone in my life. Saw Tina and Esther (absolutely adorable), had shopping/brunch/girlpile with Jill on two different days, grabbed a bike ride and chat with Andrew, had Mexican food with Laura, Heather, and Bethany, and even got to see Sarah Emily at church this morning. Good to be back at home as well...enjoying my larger room, being across the hall from my sis again, and the hugs from behind that TJ keeps giving out at random times. I cherish those hugs from a boy who may well go through a "too cool" stage but has not acheived it yet. He is truely growing up fast...not just in height but in intellect and humor and confidence and compassion. I look forward to getting to know him better this summer.
It has been raining here almost non-stop for the last 4-5 days...our backyard has flooded and receeded and re-flooded 2 times already...and thunderstorms are in the forecast for tomorrow. Many of our close friends are dealing with floods in their basements, and Dad has lent out the shop vac a couple times already. We are praying that the water goes down soon so that the farmers we know can get crops recovered quickly.
I've been anxiously awaiting news of the Kenya trip...tentatively scheduled for a week from Wednesday...ever since I returned from China, but in a series of events that I won't repeat I have not yet made contact with them. I assume this to mean that I am "all clear" but I must admit that even for ME (a generally non detail oriented citizen), the lack of details about this international adventure have me a bit out of sorts. I've been praying much in the last few days that God would calm my heart. I'm doing this because I have felt him calling me to go for a while...but we have spoken plainly that if this is not the right time or trip, He is to barricade me from setting foot on that plane. At this point, the fleece is still out, but I am eagerly awaiting the answer.
Tomorrow will be a fun day...I'm taking senior pictures for one of my sisters friends. I'm quite looking forward to this chance to get out in the open with a camera and try to capture something worth looking at. My sister and my subjects sister are also coming along...so it should be a fun adventure.
Well, I'm off to bed...determined to get a real nights sleep in on this night. The thunderstorms should help... :)
Blessings,
morgs
It's been so long since I sat down to blog just because I didn't have anything better to do and wanted to clear my head a bit. Actually, I technically haven't unpacked from China yet...so that's definitely something I SHOULD be doing...but lets be honest...it's not high on the priorities list.
The past few days have been a wonderful little re-visit to life in the states. I started working at the hospital again...which was actually quite a good feeling. I also finally got to start playing catch up with everyone in my life. Saw Tina and Esther (absolutely adorable), had shopping/brunch/girlpile with Jill on two different days, grabbed a bike ride and chat with Andrew, had Mexican food with Laura, Heather, and Bethany, and even got to see Sarah Emily at church this morning. Good to be back at home as well...enjoying my larger room, being across the hall from my sis again, and the hugs from behind that TJ keeps giving out at random times. I cherish those hugs from a boy who may well go through a "too cool" stage but has not acheived it yet. He is truely growing up fast...not just in height but in intellect and humor and confidence and compassion. I look forward to getting to know him better this summer.
It has been raining here almost non-stop for the last 4-5 days...our backyard has flooded and receeded and re-flooded 2 times already...and thunderstorms are in the forecast for tomorrow. Many of our close friends are dealing with floods in their basements, and Dad has lent out the shop vac a couple times already. We are praying that the water goes down soon so that the farmers we know can get crops recovered quickly.
I've been anxiously awaiting news of the Kenya trip...tentatively scheduled for a week from Wednesday...ever since I returned from China, but in a series of events that I won't repeat I have not yet made contact with them. I assume this to mean that I am "all clear" but I must admit that even for ME (a generally non detail oriented citizen), the lack of details about this international adventure have me a bit out of sorts. I've been praying much in the last few days that God would calm my heart. I'm doing this because I have felt him calling me to go for a while...but we have spoken plainly that if this is not the right time or trip, He is to barricade me from setting foot on that plane. At this point, the fleece is still out, but I am eagerly awaiting the answer.
Tomorrow will be a fun day...I'm taking senior pictures for one of my sisters friends. I'm quite looking forward to this chance to get out in the open with a camera and try to capture something worth looking at. My sister and my subjects sister are also coming along...so it should be a fun adventure.
Well, I'm off to bed...determined to get a real nights sleep in on this night. The thunderstorms should help... :)
Blessings,
morgs
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Top 10
Greetings all!!
I'm finally back from China, over jet lag, and getting into the swing of summer (with all of it's work, social outings, and humidity...). We've been quite busy the last week or so getting Casey's graduation party up and going and putting together all the details of the summer months. Grandma and Grandpa were here for a few days after our return (they got to see Casey graduate, which dad and I missed) and it was lovely to see them for a few days.
I realized yesterday that I have not written here for a rediculous amount of time. So sorry to be such a slacker! There is so much to write about China, I could not possibly ever write it all down...so if you want newsy stories and lots of pictures you'll have to come talk to me in person. But I wanted to give you a flavor for the trip by giving you my "top 10" list (in order of occurance) of u-choir tour 2008.
1. Opening concert in Taichung
We were entirely unsure of what to expect on our first day there...jet lagged and awed by the sights we were seeing (from hundreds of mopeds at every intersection to characters as far as the eye could see) we clambered out of the bus to yet another meal fit for kings and an incredible welcome party. We spent the afternoon at our sister campus and sang that night for a packed house in a room that must have been 90 degrees and 85% humidity. They received us so well, and cried with us at the end of the concert. Music knows no barriers.
2. Sheldon
Sheldon was our tour guide for the first 4 or 5 days of our trip. He is a business man from Hong Kong who owns 3 houses and his own business, is a retired gemologist, and is incredibly knowledgeable about politics and history in both China and the US. But instead of looking like an impressive figure, he is a man who is small in stature and speaks only when it is needed. He believes in doing things like tour guiding to educate and draw people into the culture and people of his country. He spoke graciously about all sides of the Taiwan/China/Hong Kong confusion (ask me...it's fascinating) and was able to illustrate both the strengths and weaknesses of the country's history and present with exceptional grace and skill. He was also so personable, asking us about our lives, planting gems of wisdom everywhere he went. He helped us navigate street markets, learn about some of the characters and the language (again...ask me), find the best deals in pearl stores, and above all come to love his country. When we said goodbye to him on the 5th afternoon of our trip, we gathered around him in the airport and began to sing the doxology. Then he began to cry. And after that, there was not a dry eye around the circle. He has left an incredible impression on us all.
3. Hiking up Victoria Peak in Hong Kong
Before we entered mainland china, we spent two days in Taiwan and almost a day in Hong Kong. This little collection of 240some islands is one of the most beautiful areas I have ever seen. To me, it looks like what I imagine New Zealand to be: overly green islands covered in rain forest, with dense humidity causing clouds to pass low around the mountains. But in Hong Kong, the rainforrest is not the only inhabitant. There are 40 million people who live in this 132km square piece of property, and due to such limited space, most of them live in high rise appartment buildings. This means that the mountains flow along with forest, and are then suddenly cut through with skyscrapers. The effect is stunning and beautiful. Our only morning in Hong Kong, we took a ferry from the island we sayed on onto Hong Kong island, the main industrial district of the region. The bus climbed a steep set of switchbacks until we reached the top of Victoria Peak, which overlooks the hugely important Victoria Harbor. We hiked around and took pictures, marveling at the fact that we felt that we were in a rainforest at one minute and in New York City the next. Ask to see picutres...they are awesome.
4. Shenzen girls choir
About our 5th day on the trip, we had our second concert, which was actually a "make-up" concert thrown together with a high school girls choir. We went in hoping to inspire them to keep singing and better their skills. We came out wishing that we had sung a little better. These girls (mostly 13 and 14 years old) were absolutely stunning in tone, performance skills, musicality, vocal range, and smiles. They charmed us with tight harmonies, resonnant tone, and incredibly beautiful faces. The exchange between us certainly showed some cultural differences in music selection, but also inspired on both sides to keep looking for what different things the human voice can accomplish. After the show, our boys went backstage to change, and we girls blended with them, speaking in broken Amerineese about whatever we could find in common. One of the girls pressed close to me suddenly asked "do you guys know high school musical??" and within seconds, we were all singing, dancing, grabbing hands, and turning around the stage. Freestyle dancing broke out in the middle of the circle as they pulled us into it and we laughed and entered a sureal space together. Suddenly the corny musical songs like, "we're all in this together" seemed ultimately appropriate. When the song ended someone started singing "Sia Hamba" the african spiritual. Then another broke out "Hey Jude" and "I will Follow Him". 10 mintues later we were all still dancing and singing and completely exhausted. ...and we were all believing in the power of music to break down walls like never before. We got to share dinner with the girls and they gave us presents, took pictures, and shared their dreams with us. Two close to me wanted to be a doctor and a Chinese ambassador respectively. They are bright minds and beautiful people...I'm sure they will go far. The chance to connect with girls like this who are real people and love their country and what lies beyond it was truely a remarkable experience.
5. Visit to the Beijing silk factory
This was a very touristy thing to do, but it really was remarkable. We saw how each cuckoon from each silk moth was made of a single thread, less that 1/10th the width of a human hair. 10 of these threads are twisted together to form a single thread to use in silk garments and sheets. We also saw how mattresses are made from double cuckoons whose threads cannot be isolated. What a hugely tedious and amazing process! They had a fasion show for us to highlight some of the best clothing. It was a fun event. And when the show was finished, they asked us to get up on the runway and sing for them!! Dad chalked one up for the "wierd venues" column as we sang through some of our lighter music for a very enthusiastic group of factory workers. That's a concert I'm not likely to forget!! :)
6. Bartering for gifts at the "Silk Street" market
One of my favorite parts about China is the fact that you get to barter wherever you go. There is something truely fascinating about the fact that the buyer gets to determine the value of what he or she wants that is not only economical but fun. Especially in market places, where much of the same merchandise can be found from kiosk to kiosk, it is interesting to be in the position of authority when you are buying, and to negotiate a price that is lower than what the person next door will offer. Ironically, I think there is little else that shows capitalism more clearly than buying things in this sociallistic country. I met up with Katie Kok while we were in Beijing, and she was with me on our biggest shopping day. We made quite a team and got some great gifts to bring home.
7. Peking Duck Dinner
On our second evening in Beijing, we experienced a local "must"...the peking duck dinner. This is perhaps the most incredible meal I have ever eaten. It began as usual with spinache and celery appetizers, rice, and a few cold dishes (including duck liver) to whet our appetites. Then came some hot dishes, a bit closer to what you would think of "chinese stir fry" looking like. And finally, whole ducks were brought out between the tables and sliced quickly. The skin is kept on and is very crispy and flavorful. Upon receiving the duck on your table, very thin rice "tortillas" are used to collect a cooked sprout/duck/greens mixture as well as the duck and a special sauce that I can only describe as a sesame vinegar barbeque sauce. This is rolled together and eaten...enjoy!! We ate until we could not eat more and reveled in the flavors. I'd love to take each of you there some day for this experience!!
9. Visiting Tien Am Men square and the Forbidden City
I'm ashamed to say that I don't know nearly enough history to be prepared for a trip like this, but on this day we were able to emerse ourselves in the history of the square and the forbidden city. Everywhere in this region is covered with pictures of Mao, and his tomb sits in the middle of the square, avaliable for viewing by anyone who walks by. Vendors sell Mao watches (the second hand causes him to wave at you) and red books of Mao's wise words. The square is packed with children carrying the flag of communist china. Moving across the street into the forbidden city was even more surreal. Here, for thousands of years, the emperors were kept in quarters completely isolated from the rest of the world, in order that their authority might be highlighted for all to see. But this place also became a prison, and one that so far removed the person of power from the people, that the dynasties were ultimately overthrown by cultural revolution. Amidst incredible archetecture and beautiful courtyards, there is an ominous undertone and a warning, which I cannot do justice.
10. The Great Wall
On our final day in Beijing, we drove up out of the city to climb the great wall. It was a truely remarkable experience and one that is not for the faint of heart. We climbed for about 50 minutes to reach the top...sometimes walking, sometimes scrambling to reach high enough for the next "step" and all the time wondering, how on earth did they build this thing a couple thousand years ago??? The sights of both the surrounding mountains and the wall itself (which stretches for over 5,000 miles) is truely amazing. We enjoyed the feeling of excercise, fresh air, and conquest over such a great piece of construction extremely, and took more pictures than really should ever be allowed.
So, that gives you an idea of what we did at least. Check facebook in the next few days for at least some favorites of my pictures. There are about 800 currently, so I'm trying to narrow them down. :)
Love to you all...and come visit me if you want more story time!!
Morgs
I'm finally back from China, over jet lag, and getting into the swing of summer (with all of it's work, social outings, and humidity...). We've been quite busy the last week or so getting Casey's graduation party up and going and putting together all the details of the summer months. Grandma and Grandpa were here for a few days after our return (they got to see Casey graduate, which dad and I missed) and it was lovely to see them for a few days.
I realized yesterday that I have not written here for a rediculous amount of time. So sorry to be such a slacker! There is so much to write about China, I could not possibly ever write it all down...so if you want newsy stories and lots of pictures you'll have to come talk to me in person. But I wanted to give you a flavor for the trip by giving you my "top 10" list (in order of occurance) of u-choir tour 2008.
1. Opening concert in Taichung
We were entirely unsure of what to expect on our first day there...jet lagged and awed by the sights we were seeing (from hundreds of mopeds at every intersection to characters as far as the eye could see) we clambered out of the bus to yet another meal fit for kings and an incredible welcome party. We spent the afternoon at our sister campus and sang that night for a packed house in a room that must have been 90 degrees and 85% humidity. They received us so well, and cried with us at the end of the concert. Music knows no barriers.
2. Sheldon
Sheldon was our tour guide for the first 4 or 5 days of our trip. He is a business man from Hong Kong who owns 3 houses and his own business, is a retired gemologist, and is incredibly knowledgeable about politics and history in both China and the US. But instead of looking like an impressive figure, he is a man who is small in stature and speaks only when it is needed. He believes in doing things like tour guiding to educate and draw people into the culture and people of his country. He spoke graciously about all sides of the Taiwan/China/Hong Kong confusion (ask me...it's fascinating) and was able to illustrate both the strengths and weaknesses of the country's history and present with exceptional grace and skill. He was also so personable, asking us about our lives, planting gems of wisdom everywhere he went. He helped us navigate street markets, learn about some of the characters and the language (again...ask me), find the best deals in pearl stores, and above all come to love his country. When we said goodbye to him on the 5th afternoon of our trip, we gathered around him in the airport and began to sing the doxology. Then he began to cry. And after that, there was not a dry eye around the circle. He has left an incredible impression on us all.
3. Hiking up Victoria Peak in Hong Kong
Before we entered mainland china, we spent two days in Taiwan and almost a day in Hong Kong. This little collection of 240some islands is one of the most beautiful areas I have ever seen. To me, it looks like what I imagine New Zealand to be: overly green islands covered in rain forest, with dense humidity causing clouds to pass low around the mountains. But in Hong Kong, the rainforrest is not the only inhabitant. There are 40 million people who live in this 132km square piece of property, and due to such limited space, most of them live in high rise appartment buildings. This means that the mountains flow along with forest, and are then suddenly cut through with skyscrapers. The effect is stunning and beautiful. Our only morning in Hong Kong, we took a ferry from the island we sayed on onto Hong Kong island, the main industrial district of the region. The bus climbed a steep set of switchbacks until we reached the top of Victoria Peak, which overlooks the hugely important Victoria Harbor. We hiked around and took pictures, marveling at the fact that we felt that we were in a rainforest at one minute and in New York City the next. Ask to see picutres...they are awesome.
4. Shenzen girls choir
About our 5th day on the trip, we had our second concert, which was actually a "make-up" concert thrown together with a high school girls choir. We went in hoping to inspire them to keep singing and better their skills. We came out wishing that we had sung a little better. These girls (mostly 13 and 14 years old) were absolutely stunning in tone, performance skills, musicality, vocal range, and smiles. They charmed us with tight harmonies, resonnant tone, and incredibly beautiful faces. The exchange between us certainly showed some cultural differences in music selection, but also inspired on both sides to keep looking for what different things the human voice can accomplish. After the show, our boys went backstage to change, and we girls blended with them, speaking in broken Amerineese about whatever we could find in common. One of the girls pressed close to me suddenly asked "do you guys know high school musical??" and within seconds, we were all singing, dancing, grabbing hands, and turning around the stage. Freestyle dancing broke out in the middle of the circle as they pulled us into it and we laughed and entered a sureal space together. Suddenly the corny musical songs like, "we're all in this together" seemed ultimately appropriate. When the song ended someone started singing "Sia Hamba" the african spiritual. Then another broke out "Hey Jude" and "I will Follow Him". 10 mintues later we were all still dancing and singing and completely exhausted. ...and we were all believing in the power of music to break down walls like never before. We got to share dinner with the girls and they gave us presents, took pictures, and shared their dreams with us. Two close to me wanted to be a doctor and a Chinese ambassador respectively. They are bright minds and beautiful people...I'm sure they will go far. The chance to connect with girls like this who are real people and love their country and what lies beyond it was truely a remarkable experience.
5. Visit to the Beijing silk factory
This was a very touristy thing to do, but it really was remarkable. We saw how each cuckoon from each silk moth was made of a single thread, less that 1/10th the width of a human hair. 10 of these threads are twisted together to form a single thread to use in silk garments and sheets. We also saw how mattresses are made from double cuckoons whose threads cannot be isolated. What a hugely tedious and amazing process! They had a fasion show for us to highlight some of the best clothing. It was a fun event. And when the show was finished, they asked us to get up on the runway and sing for them!! Dad chalked one up for the "wierd venues" column as we sang through some of our lighter music for a very enthusiastic group of factory workers. That's a concert I'm not likely to forget!! :)
6. Bartering for gifts at the "Silk Street" market
One of my favorite parts about China is the fact that you get to barter wherever you go. There is something truely fascinating about the fact that the buyer gets to determine the value of what he or she wants that is not only economical but fun. Especially in market places, where much of the same merchandise can be found from kiosk to kiosk, it is interesting to be in the position of authority when you are buying, and to negotiate a price that is lower than what the person next door will offer. Ironically, I think there is little else that shows capitalism more clearly than buying things in this sociallistic country. I met up with Katie Kok while we were in Beijing, and she was with me on our biggest shopping day. We made quite a team and got some great gifts to bring home.
7. Peking Duck Dinner
On our second evening in Beijing, we experienced a local "must"...the peking duck dinner. This is perhaps the most incredible meal I have ever eaten. It began as usual with spinache and celery appetizers, rice, and a few cold dishes (including duck liver) to whet our appetites. Then came some hot dishes, a bit closer to what you would think of "chinese stir fry" looking like. And finally, whole ducks were brought out between the tables and sliced quickly. The skin is kept on and is very crispy and flavorful. Upon receiving the duck on your table, very thin rice "tortillas" are used to collect a cooked sprout/duck/greens mixture as well as the duck and a special sauce that I can only describe as a sesame vinegar barbeque sauce. This is rolled together and eaten...enjoy!! We ate until we could not eat more and reveled in the flavors. I'd love to take each of you there some day for this experience!!
9. Visiting Tien Am Men square and the Forbidden City
I'm ashamed to say that I don't know nearly enough history to be prepared for a trip like this, but on this day we were able to emerse ourselves in the history of the square and the forbidden city. Everywhere in this region is covered with pictures of Mao, and his tomb sits in the middle of the square, avaliable for viewing by anyone who walks by. Vendors sell Mao watches (the second hand causes him to wave at you) and red books of Mao's wise words. The square is packed with children carrying the flag of communist china. Moving across the street into the forbidden city was even more surreal. Here, for thousands of years, the emperors were kept in quarters completely isolated from the rest of the world, in order that their authority might be highlighted for all to see. But this place also became a prison, and one that so far removed the person of power from the people, that the dynasties were ultimately overthrown by cultural revolution. Amidst incredible archetecture and beautiful courtyards, there is an ominous undertone and a warning, which I cannot do justice.
10. The Great Wall
On our final day in Beijing, we drove up out of the city to climb the great wall. It was a truely remarkable experience and one that is not for the faint of heart. We climbed for about 50 minutes to reach the top...sometimes walking, sometimes scrambling to reach high enough for the next "step" and all the time wondering, how on earth did they build this thing a couple thousand years ago??? The sights of both the surrounding mountains and the wall itself (which stretches for over 5,000 miles) is truely amazing. We enjoyed the feeling of excercise, fresh air, and conquest over such a great piece of construction extremely, and took more pictures than really should ever be allowed.
So, that gives you an idea of what we did at least. Check facebook in the next few days for at least some favorites of my pictures. There are about 800 currently, so I'm trying to narrow them down. :)
Love to you all...and come visit me if you want more story time!!
Morgs
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
HIV +
A rare chance to breathe tonight...
Faith and I are both sitting on the living room couch together, computers in our laps and random comments bouncing back and forth. SVU law and order was on until about 10 minutes ago, when good old WAND news blared on and caused a quick flick of the remote to silence it. It's a rare opportunity for us both to be sitting together, and strangely enough this is about as close as I get to social interaction with my roommates. Sad...very sad. But I take what I can get.
I'm exhausted and relishing chance to sit in one place...just for a few minutes. I haven't done that in a while.
AIDS awareness week was a huge success last week. We raised more than $800 with our small group of people to send overseas, but also to go to a summer camp for kids with AIDS up in Minnesota. Spent a lot of time during the week talking with people about needs. Needs of AIDS patients who are often in poverty and hopelessness. Needs of all people who feel the same holes in their innermost parts and can't fill them try as they may. Our chapter did some straight out evangelism in conjunction with the week, and saw a real window opening to proclaim Jesus as a relevant answer to the struggles that we all find ourselves in the middle of. But we also saw a window opening in our own hearts as we pondered Jesus' interactions with the poor, the oppressed, and the diseased. As a christian, you can't learn about an AIDS patient, who experiences so much physical pain, emotional hunger, and social rejection, without relating their struggles to those of the leapers in bible days. And where was Jesus during those times?? Right beside them. Seeing their needs as people rather than their faults and brokenness...identifying in them the areas that he could fill and giving them new life and hope and direction.
We heard a speaker on a video talking about the many coffin bearers that the AIDS epidemic has trained. In Africa where the conditions are most severe, coffin makers are the wealthiest people in the villages, and family members carry their relatives one by one to the grave. The man in the video talked about the importance of developing palate bearers, who will bring the sick and the hurting to the foot of the cross...who will point to the only one that can fill, heal, and truly love. When you look at the human heart, the truth is that we are all diseased. What the AIDS patient cannot hide many of us can and do. But Jesus longs to reach out and touch those needs...to expose what we have learned to hide away to avoid social rejection...to heal what we are afraid to show those in our churches and families. We cannot preach that an AIDS patient will be healed if they choose to follow Jesus, but we can proclaim that the soul of every man born on earth is diseased, and that those wounds are ones that Jesus will heal.
We had several people on campus make decisions to follow that healer, that filler of needs, that giver of unconditional love this week. It is amazing to take steps of faith and open spiritual dialogs only to find that rather than doing the work, you can sit down in front row seats to watch what God is already at work doing. We pray that the openness that God has brought in the few hearts we got to know will continue and that we all might be changed internally to follow this great love which cares so deeply for every human need.
With the week over, I focussed once more on my millipede testing project, and finally completed phase 1 on Sunday night. Wondrous to have two HUGE projects over in the same weekend!! Last night's near-all-nighter put me over the edge sleep wise, but did help me finish my Neurobiology research paper, which I finally turned in this morning.
I suddenly feel like I have time to breathe again. Time to look at lightning as it flashes through the windows tonight and to get some basic "life maintenance" things done around the house (which I have been ignoring for far too long). My "list" for now is as follows:
~ SLEEP (my brain has been extremely slow moving these last few hours)
~ clean my room (it's desperate folks)
~ get back on a regular eating, working out, and quiet time schedule
~ vacuum my room
~ clean the kitchen floor and my bathroom in the house
~ do this weeks laundry (oh...and last week's laundry too I guess)
~ catch up with Casey who seems to have lots of stories of senioritis that I haven't listened well to in a while
~ call the hospital to see if I still have a job this summer
~ listen to TJ's speech (i missed the competition but I still need to hear it)
~ start getting details ironed out for my China trip
~ catch up on my class work
~ balance my checkbook
~ keep praising God for all He's brought me through these past few weeks
At the end of our AIDS week big event last week all of the Intervarsity kids gathered in a circle as the crowd dispursed and prayed joyously in thanksgiving for all that we had been a part of. A spontaneous version of the doxology broke out...and the words which are so simple have been in my head ever since.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him, All creatures here below
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Amen
As we take the time to praise Him, we must never forget that those on high are already singing praises around his throne day and night, crying "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb who sits upon the throne!!"
May our hearts beckon us to participate in the joyous chorus more often...
Praise the Lord!!!!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
let there be GREEN!!!
It surprises me every spring how somewhere in the surry of the days of late march I forget to look around me....and then one day, all of the sudden, the green begins to jump out at me from everywhere...as thought God had just flipped on a light switch that allowed our eyes to see a brand new color.
Today was that day for me.
I'm not sure why, but the grass suddenly looked alive...a brilliant color of green. It's not as tall as it will be soon, but its height is just enought to overcome the drab browns that have dominated the landscape for the last 4 months...
amazing!!
The brilliant blue sky doesn't hurt either...
spring time just might be here....
:)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The Story
Saturday morning…11:15am…still in bed.
My brain keeps screaming at me that it’s time to go be productive…must study for the GRE and get more vocab words under my belt…must head to the lab and shock some millipedes before lunch…must write thank you notes, plan out the rest of my catch up dates with friends, do laundry, clean my room.But I’m not going to. I’ve been racing all week and my spring break has felt a lot like a “spring busy” thus far. Different kinds of busy, but busy none the less. It’s time for a contemplation morning.
Fernando Ortega accompanies my brain power this morning with his fabulous hymns CD…one that will be a lifetime favorite methinks. Something about the construction and delivery of a timeless hymn can teach me so much about my faith…whether because they are handed down from saints generations ago or because the words carry so much meat or because the simplicities of their melodies and the depth of their harmonies allow the church to bind together across a vast span of persons. I remember teasing Andrew back in high school for his resolution to read the hymnal like a devotional each day…and then the shock that I experienced when I tried it for myself one day. There are some golden nuggets of truth in both theology and life experience hidden in those pages.
This week has been a good one despite it’s crazy schedule…midterms were quite hardcore and though I think they ended out pretty well I had a lot of catching up to do on sleep and was landed with a nasty cold this past weekend. Matt came home to help celebrate my birthday with roomies, family, and friends….21 is an impossible age for me to be at…thus far I’ve chosen mostly to ignore the fact that I’m well on my way to being an adult. However, my friends and I did go out to celebrate with a little alcohol and some movies and food. I’m privileged to have friends who want nothing more than tons of fun and the bond of friends who will be there whether you’re grouchy and tired or in perfect form. Good times.
Friday morning we said goodbye to Faith, who spent the week in
The millipede project I’m working on is an effort to see how much millipedes (and their small brains and simple neural ganglion) are capable of learning. There is a new push in the scientific area to build some “invertebrate models” about learning and general brain capabilities of animals at very low forms. The thinking is that the more we know about what can be done with small structures in the brain, the greater chance we will have of understanding the physiological process of memory and learning. It’s incredibly complicated and fascinating…so I can use this logic to transform the boring work into something a bit more heroic sounding…
I have 20 millipedes each in two test groups…and I have found that due to the slow movement of many many legs, it takes about 1.5 hours per millipede to perform the 15 consecutive trials. All told, I am basically working a full time job or more without being paid…but at least I am getting to do this all without the hustle and bustle of classes to block the progress.
And then there is a large part of me that reminds me how dumb I am not to consider my life right at this very moment “real”…how the way I live through classes and midterms and millipedes and sisters moving to college really does determine what my “real life” looks like far more than the school that I attend in two years and whether or not I ever get married and if I’m the best PA in town. Today is the day that I have been given to live…and I’d better get to it now rather than waiting, worrying, or wishing about the future.
As much as I love my dad’s genius for music and sound, I think my favorite part of watching him do a church service or a choir concert is his total fascination with the Story. Without ever verbalizing it, he has taught me that this is one of the most central places where we can see our faith become real, true, and meaningful. He’s obsessed. I’ve learned so much from him about the way that God works, not because he understands it all, but because he doesn’t. Yet he returns to the same story every year, multiple times, with narration and drama and words and song…trying to flesh out one specific part of the story…once facet….one dimension. For 35 years he's been designing church services and choir concerts around the same exact plot. He always jokes with the choir at vespers time because he finds himself preaching little sermons on the podium, then laughing to himself and saying “I guess you know this…it’s the same story every year.” And yet he returns to it. We all do. Because it doesn’t run dry if we keep telling it.
The Story is told in words but can’t be summarized by them. As much as you want to say that the story can be put into 4 bullet points, and that we can comprehend salvation in a quick 3 paragraph essay (knowledge of the savior, accepting the savior, forgiven by the savior), sometimes the best way to understand the story is not to explain it at all. When you start to summarize and categorize and prioritize, the situation looks confusing and the plot loses its interest and you start to think whoever wrote this thing must be completely crazy.
The Story is personal. I’m struck more and more by this as I get older and realize that all the big words we learned in Sunday school and memorized in AWANA really do apply. Words like GRACE and REDEMPTION aren’t just put there to summarize…they are essential to the process of salvation and to the way that we understand our relationship to God. The ginormous proportions of the Story don’t keep it from being applicable to our lives, even our individual days. This truth is truly astounding.
Those thoughts only touch the brink of the depth of the story…and I’m truly grateful for another Easter to immerse myself a bit more in its complex simplicity. May we all take the time to live the story this holiday, and to revel like children in the marvel of the best story ever heard.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
prayers please
It's that time of year again...almost spring break (amazingly) and so many details to attend to it makes my head spin. I'd appreciate prayers for the following if you think of it:
1) Neurobiology midterm...my grade on the first test was not so hot...actually icy cold...so I'm feeling a lot of pressure to do well. It's moderately humorous how as I study the details of the brain and nervous system mine seem to be shutting down and oozing out my ears. ...moderately humorous....
2) AIDS week details...for those of you who haven't heard, our IV chapter is doing a huge social justice week focused on AIDS which will incorporate education, fund raising, and evangelism. I'm president/staff worker for IV this semester so much of the weight of the project rests on my shoulders. The event is 2 weeks away if you knock out spring break...so I'm starting to get scared that all the details will pass me by. Pray for enough sanity to remember everything and enough faith to keep trusting that God will take our service and make it something worthwhile.
3) Research project....I'm nailing down details (and ordering millipedes) for my independent research project this week...I'll do the first phase of testing over spring break if all goes well. I'm praying that it will all run smoothly so that my next semester at Millikin isn't too bottlenecked. It seems silly to be this worked up about shocking millipedes...but my advisers already want to publish my work, so it needs to be of considerable quality. Again...attention to details on a fried brain is absolutely necessary.
the next 72 hours should be a whirlwind...two tests on thursday should put me over the biggest of the "humps" for this week. until then, prayers please...
1) Neurobiology midterm...my grade on the first test was not so hot...actually icy cold...so I'm feeling a lot of pressure to do well. It's moderately humorous how as I study the details of the brain and nervous system mine seem to be shutting down and oozing out my ears. ...moderately humorous....
2) AIDS week details...for those of you who haven't heard, our IV chapter is doing a huge social justice week focused on AIDS which will incorporate education, fund raising, and evangelism. I'm president/staff worker for IV this semester so much of the weight of the project rests on my shoulders. The event is 2 weeks away if you knock out spring break...so I'm starting to get scared that all the details will pass me by. Pray for enough sanity to remember everything and enough faith to keep trusting that God will take our service and make it something worthwhile.
3) Research project....I'm nailing down details (and ordering millipedes) for my independent research project this week...I'll do the first phase of testing over spring break if all goes well. I'm praying that it will all run smoothly so that my next semester at Millikin isn't too bottlenecked. It seems silly to be this worked up about shocking millipedes...but my advisers already want to publish my work, so it needs to be of considerable quality. Again...attention to details on a fried brain is absolutely necessary.
the next 72 hours should be a whirlwind...two tests on thursday should put me over the biggest of the "humps" for this week. until then, prayers please...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
baby days
There seems to be a wonderful overflow of new little ones the past 3 days...first Zach and Tina delivered little Esther Ann....then my cousins delivered Noah Taylor. Praise the Lord for two healthy deliveries and quickly recovering mommies...
Hard to believe that people I spent most of high school with suddenly have a child. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly life can change and how in the "blink of an eye" our priorities and careers and goals and dreams can shift.
Funny how these little people, represented as just a "bump" on momma's belly for so many months, so quickly reveal themselves to be whole people, albeit rasin-like and very tiny. I'll never forget the delivery that I got to watch while shadowing Dennis a few summers ago. After watching just the tail end of the labor procedure I finally saw the tiny head, watched the mother strain, the daddy look a bit faint and grip her hand and look into her eyes more deeply. I saw the nurses check the monitors once more waiting for the final contractions and the biggest "Push!!". And suddenly there before us all was a crying writhing human being, blinking back the light and flailing in the air and not all to pleased to be out of the warmth of the womb. Though I did not no this woman or her family at all, I found my eyes dumping rapid tears along with the rest of the family. This is truly one of the great miracles of life.
Prayers head to both new families as the process of growth continues and the personality, soul, and mind of the young ones are slowly revealed. Hallelujah for God's new creation...and the new life that inspires, challenges, and brings so much joy.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
....as a dog....
Sick. Bleh. Sick sick. sick as a dog.
It started with flu on Wednesday evening...my family had been passing it around so it's not all that surprising. I was on the couch with a fever and aches until Saturday morning...and felt great until about Saturday evening, when a headache came on and left sinus pressure, sore throat, and (somehow) fever again in it's wake.
I'm told that really the immune system is only as strong as your mind tells it that it is...thus the best way to stay well is to decide that you, simply, DON'T get sick.
apparently my mind over matter skills suck.
However obnoxious it is to be battling the germs again, it couldn't have happened at a better time. I fell sick just after Matt left on Wednesday morning and since I was spending Thursday-Saturday at home (mom and dad were out of town so the siblings hung out) I got to spend the sick days on the couch along with my sister who was in similar shape. We watched a lot of TV but also got quite a bit of talking about college life and such in. Good times.
I'm still in reflection of the fabulous weekend I had a week ago (already?). My trip to DeKalb was another instance of "perfect timing"...After a week of slamming books and taking multiple tests, I was able to shed my coat of constant stress, completely ignore school for a few days, and enjoy the freedom of a road trip, the joy of seeing Matt after a month's absence, and the unpredictable fun of living in someone else's life for a weekend. Met lots of friends, played lots of video games and cards, went to his church, and praised God on many occasions for the protection that he and his friends had during the shootings on Thursday evening. The tone of the campus was very solemn though not defeated, and it was wonderful to be at his church that sunday morning, where many plans were already in motion for the formation of care packages for administration, police, and fire departments. They were also undertaking a grief councelling training class for the church body, so that upon arrival of the students today they could be involved in some hands on healing ministries. Good to see the body of Christ working so quickly and broadly to help. In a more lighthearted turn of events, Matt was able to come home for a few days because their classes were canceled for the remainder of the week. This meant that we got to spend a bit more time together between my classes on Monday and Tuesday.
This weekend Mom and Dad got to get away to Michigan and hobnob with the "choir gurus" (sp??). It is the first time my dad has gotten to be away and relax in quite a good while and he looked quite refreshed on coming home. For those of you who hadn't heard, Dad has spent the last several months considering a job change to Baylor university in Texas...after several rounds of interviews, they offered him the position which threw our family in to a tailspin as far as discerning the will of God. After much praying and discussing with Millikin folks, Dad made the decision to stay put, seeing some new windows in the MU program and potential growth in some related events to be appealing and right for now. We're praising God for the clarity he gave us and the way we learned to trust Him through the brush with potential changes. It's funny how we often forget how stubborn we are until we are asked to surrender something we consider immovable. A great reminder...and an interesting process to go through as a family.
All told, we feel quite relieved not to be house hunting and packing up in the next few months...and yet we see quite a few changes on the horizon regardless. Life is like that...and I'm glad. It'd be boring otherwise.
Well, I've a proposal to write and some GRE prep vocabulary to study. ...as well as final work on my newest undertaking, my millipede research experiment, which will take place over spring break. No, I'm not going to the beach with Faith as invited...you can find me holed up with lots of legs and some electrical shocking plates. Exciting. Oh well, it will be good to get it out of the way without the regular stresses of school.
Challenged this morning about my dependency on God's word this morning with a familiar passage:
"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us in our time of need."
Hebrews 5: 12-16
May we be exposed by His word and transformed by His spirit, and may we accept His grace with a heat postured in complete vulnerability to Him.
Blessings...
Friday, February 08, 2008
friday at last
Friday afternoon...my lightest day by far in the week....and finally some time on the horizon. Well...a bit... :)
Just got back from a long work out at the DISC to Brad Paisley and Mae...my routine workout buddies...wonderfully rigourous workout, which will probably prove to make getting out of bed a bit more difficult in the morning. Oh well. I'm ready to get back into shape...it's definitely been too long.
My hair is still drying from my shower and I'm waiting for Faith to get home so we can go grocery shopping. I have absolutely no food in the house (besides 4 cans of tuna, which you are only supposed to eat once a week), so it's a must today. I'm also previewing a new album just finished by a friend of mine from choir...she's got a great pop/rock voice and some pretty impressive sounds aided by some guitar playing buddies and a good studio master. I don't think these kids have any clue how lucky they are to be able to use the caliber of studio we have here at MU for personal projects...they have to do things in the middle of the night but it's still awesome.
Last night I got to see a very different part of the "music world" at Millikin...the opera folk put on the "HMS Pinnafore", a classic Gilbert and Sullivan performed in our cozy little theater. They had us rolling much of the time, while somehow still admiring their sheer talent. It's so fun to watch those types of shows and to see the actors let themselves run through the channel of a character who often shares some striking similarities with their every day person.
Anyhoo...this weekend will be spent mainly studying for the three tests that come next week (Anatomy and Phys, Lifespan psychology, and Neurobiology...the later of which will be a bear...) as well as hopefully working a bit more on my CASPA application and my summer plans.
I'm trying to come up with a good medical missions trip to take for 3-4 weeks this summer and have been putting a lot of "feelers" out all over the place, getting in touch with friends of my uncle (who did medical missions translations for 15 years in south America), random missions organizations, and even a professor here at MU. I'm really praying that God will put me where he wants me and also give me the opportunity to serve in a capacity that really enlivens me. From my perspective that screams "MEDICAL!", but knowing the God I serve who loves to surprise me, I could end up anywhere....
This weekend is also Millikin Vocal Fest...those of you who remember it from high school may well also remember some happy memories we made there, including but not limited to salsa chugging, sitting next to jewish people, and naptime in the lobby. I'm looking forward to helping "direct traffic" and get everyone checked in, as well as singing with U-choir on one of the concerts.
I'm trying to keep my head to the grindstone these next few days while anticipating a trip to DeKalb next weekend...it will be wonderful to get to see Matt and roomies, while taking a bit of a break after a week that I'm sure will be full of late nights and hand cramps. Yay for road trips!!
Blessings on your own weekends and may you find some time to refresh and feed yourselves. I'm learning that I am only able to give what I allow myself to receive, unless of course I try to give of my very self which tends to burn me out...
Happy Friday!!
Just got back from a long work out at the DISC to Brad Paisley and Mae...my routine workout buddies...wonderfully rigourous workout, which will probably prove to make getting out of bed a bit more difficult in the morning. Oh well. I'm ready to get back into shape...it's definitely been too long.
My hair is still drying from my shower and I'm waiting for Faith to get home so we can go grocery shopping. I have absolutely no food in the house (besides 4 cans of tuna, which you are only supposed to eat once a week), so it's a must today. I'm also previewing a new album just finished by a friend of mine from choir...she's got a great pop/rock voice and some pretty impressive sounds aided by some guitar playing buddies and a good studio master. I don't think these kids have any clue how lucky they are to be able to use the caliber of studio we have here at MU for personal projects...they have to do things in the middle of the night but it's still awesome.
Last night I got to see a very different part of the "music world" at Millikin...the opera folk put on the "HMS Pinnafore", a classic Gilbert and Sullivan performed in our cozy little theater. They had us rolling much of the time, while somehow still admiring their sheer talent. It's so fun to watch those types of shows and to see the actors let themselves run through the channel of a character who often shares some striking similarities with their every day person.
Anyhoo...this weekend will be spent mainly studying for the three tests that come next week (Anatomy and Phys, Lifespan psychology, and Neurobiology...the later of which will be a bear...) as well as hopefully working a bit more on my CASPA application and my summer plans.
I'm trying to come up with a good medical missions trip to take for 3-4 weeks this summer and have been putting a lot of "feelers" out all over the place, getting in touch with friends of my uncle (who did medical missions translations for 15 years in south America), random missions organizations, and even a professor here at MU. I'm really praying that God will put me where he wants me and also give me the opportunity to serve in a capacity that really enlivens me. From my perspective that screams "MEDICAL!", but knowing the God I serve who loves to surprise me, I could end up anywhere....
This weekend is also Millikin Vocal Fest...those of you who remember it from high school may well also remember some happy memories we made there, including but not limited to salsa chugging, sitting next to jewish people, and naptime in the lobby. I'm looking forward to helping "direct traffic" and get everyone checked in, as well as singing with U-choir on one of the concerts.
I'm trying to keep my head to the grindstone these next few days while anticipating a trip to DeKalb next weekend...it will be wonderful to get to see Matt and roomies, while taking a bit of a break after a week that I'm sure will be full of late nights and hand cramps. Yay for road trips!!
Blessings on your own weekends and may you find some time to refresh and feed yourselves. I'm learning that I am only able to give what I allow myself to receive, unless of course I try to give of my very self which tends to burn me out...
Happy Friday!!
Monday, February 04, 2008
the coming rain....
stormy night.
I couldn't be happier. We got a huge snowstorm (with snow day included) last thursday, and today was the strangest weather day I've seen in forever. The day was much warmer than it has been for a while...in the 50's most of the day, but the entire city (and much of the state) was covered in a fog so dense that you could literally feel droplets hit your face as you walked through it. It was almost like being in a fine mist sprinkler (like the ones at amusement parks) all day long. The combination of on and off showers, as well as the melting snow, reduced many of the roads to mere channels for the mass of water to run through...the walks to and from class were interesting to say the least, especially since some of the sidewalks were still (unexplainably) icy.
But tonight, though the fog continues, the strange silence is broken by flashes of lightening distorted by the fog, and distant thunder which is ominous, but as of yet has not produced much rain. Ah weather...it never ceases to keep us on our toes here in Illinois, and never stops reminding me of how "little" my life really is in comparison to the cosmos and the great swirling masses of clouds at the fingertips of our maker.
It's been a busy last week, even with the snow day, and the tests are looming just around the corner. Anatomy and Phys comes first, with both a lab and a lecture exam...then Neurobiology comes next week. Vocal festival is also this weekend, and I am in charge of a team for this event. In addition, lots of stuff is going on with Intervarsity, and as we approach the middle of February I'm reminded often that I must put faith solely in God, for I will never be able to accomplish even a limited version of our chapter's vision for the semester without all his power working through my weakness. Please pray for us as we are working to put up a "social justice" week focusing on the AIDS crisis in early April. With "logistical details" as my weakest character trait, I'm naturally a bit scared of all I might forget to do. Thank goodness for a dedicated and Christ centered team full of ideas, conviction, and motivation.
Last night I began the scary process of filling out information on CASPA (the Central Application Service for Physician's Assistants). This process basically involves vomitting your "life accomplishments" in school/community/employment/honors onto several web pages and waiting for the scores from the GRE (to be taken in the early summer) and then sending the whole batch to any number of schools. Scary to be looking at this full in the face...and so exciting too. It never ceases to amaze me that as God brings me through life, I find points of "comfort" that are quickly eliminated by "next steps". I suppose that is what all of growth is...having finally become accustomed to one level, we are challenged by the next...and should we chose to ignore the challenge, we will face a different one down the road or be forever doomed to "sameness".
This past week I placed myself in a "holding pattern", taking a few days void of technology and social extras and even some close friends for the purpose of giving my soul some time to be restored. I have been running frenetically for so many months that I feel I have really put off some necessary personal time. Everything from personal devotions to intimate friendships to overall life perspective to sleeping habits have suffered in the process. And while the amazing infrastructure of friends around me have kept me from totally crashing and burning...I have found myself exceptionally drained and without a lot of purpose. Not good for a president of a christian organization on campus...not good for a pre-med student...not good for finding good reasons to get out of bed in the morning. My "monastic" period (I use the term loosely because it wasn't nearly that disciplined but did have that general feel) was used to do a ton of reading, sleeping, journaling, and just being quiet...re-learning the value of solitude and seeking out a reminder of the identity that I have that is not of this earth. I was challenged so much about the way that I love and relate to people, and the way that these relationships are hopeless if I don't understand my own identity (both strengths and needs) and view my soul on a level with every other human being in the world. I read through several books, but chiefly "searching for God knows what", another Donald Miller must read that had me really grappling with some foundational truths about myself, my motivations, and my source for self-worth. How can I ever expect to make a difference in the lives of others if I am so out of touch with my own struggles??? And as a self-appointed "fixer" of all problems I can see, how do I expect to help people out of the despair and struggle of life without a sense of their deeper heart issues and the essential needs of their souls???
So much of my life I have spent learning the formulas and the "Christianese"...but we serve a God who SHOWED us how to reach people...not through bullet points but through acceptance...not through a "get together to feel safe" club, but through a vulnerability and openness that penetrated into the societies that seemed polar to the religious groups. Its not surprising that we as Christians feel a need for security and attempt to find it in those around us, but it IS surprising that we continue to go back to this fragile source of acceptance when we should know in our hearts that it can come....was only meant to come...from one source.
Anyhoo, these and so many other thoughts and wonderings have been coursing through my mind these past few days, and as I attempt to add "real life" back into the equation, I'm asking God to keep them fresh in my mind, and keep speaking to my soul. He has been so faithful to meet me where I am, along with the doubts and questions and unresolved fears that, I am learning, may never be truly answered as I seek a God I cannot see and a faith that is certain of what it hopes for. I have stopped asking God to "get me there" and merely begun asking that he would keep me pointed towards the goal, working out my salvation with fear and trembling.
The semester goes on, and in light of these recent thoughts seems a bit inconsequential. And yet, they are the small mountains that God has placed in front of me at present. I desire to use them to glorify him.
A stormy night, and the thunder only grows louder. Yet, the sun will rise again tomorrow and the day that dawns may be all the more beautiful for the storm.
let the storm break...let the rains fall...let the faith within me be challenged...let me break in my own weakness...and let his grace shine all the brighter with the coming day.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
it starts...
I should be doing ______ (approximately 12 possible insertions are available here) right now...but I need to get my mind empty so I'm sitting down to write instead. So sue me.
We are back into the second week of classes here and now in full swing. The past 3 weeks of life have been mostly busses and concerts as we swung around the midwest for choir tour. We returned only for 4 days of class last week and hit the road again this weekend. Many lovely concerts and a great time with friends and family along the way. Several "long lost" cousins on my mom's side met with us unexpectedly in Missouri, Zach and Tina drove up to Topeka, Matt came to see two concerts in Madison, and Laura (who I knew I was going to get to see for a short time) surprised me by bringing Beth and Cassie along to see us in Chicago. These last three were a special joy as we got a "girls night" that has been a LONG time coming and which we somehow missed over Christmas break. We had so much fun laughing till all hours in a local IHOP and then cramming 4 people into Laura's dorm single. Much giggling, chatting, facebook stalking, and chocolate eating, reminiscent of many such events in junior high and high school. Such a joy to have such amazing friends.
Returning to campus and staring at the semester straight in the face has been a challenge. It will be a hefty one to be sure. On top of a normal class load, I am the President of Intervarsity starting this semester, and will be a TA for a large freshman bio lab. Our review sessions for my graduate entrance exam (the GRE) start this weekend, and I MUST begin working on PA school applications by late this spring. With the choir's china tour and a yet unplanned missions trip looming in the summer future, I've got quite a bit on the horizon.
However, I have been doing my best to "let things go" this past week, and have dropped out of voice lessons and turned down some research teams and a panel for a conference here on campus. Never have I hated the word, "NO" more....and never have I realized so quickly in a semester how vitally important it is.
Last week was excellent in the "New Classes" department, and though surely overwhelming I was quite blown away by the stuff I'm learning and how amazing it is. Sitting in my Anatomy and Physiology class last week a girl next to me leaned over and asked how on earth people can look at something like the heart, with it's ornate valves, perfect rhythm, complicated electricity, and (honestly) strange and globular appearance, and think "oh, I bet that basic staple of human life appeared in perfect form just by chance." I couldn't agree more. I'm more and more an advocate of the power of evolution to preserve lines of organisms in amazing circumstances, but I will never understand how a person can look at the intricacies of the body and not see the need for some sort of order or command at "the beginning". I don't pretend to understand how the genisis account meshes with the scientific "truth", but I'm pretty sure that if God wanted us to know all that he would have written it down.
At any rate (sorry for the bunny trail), anatomy fascinates me, and I have loved jumping right into the cardiovascular system, as I hear all these words on the cardiac floor at the hospital, but often don't know exactly what they mean. Did you know that the heart has a small dent in the right atrium that is called the fossa ovalis?? This little "bubble" is a remnant from the foramen ovalae--a small tube that is present only in the heart of a developing embryo. This tube acts as a bridge between the right and left atria of the heart, allowing the blood to move through the heart without passing through the pulmonary circuit (the path the blood follows to the lungs in order to be oxygenated). This is fortunate, because the lungs of an embryo are not developed fully until a few hours after the baby is born. If blood were pressured into the lungs as they were developing they would never grow properly, but without a heartbeat, the brain could not survive, and the nervous system (which is one of the first systems to begin developing) would never grow before the other systems blocked it's path. However, once the baby is born, it is vital that the lungs begin receiving blood very soon after birth, so that the lungs can fully expand and receive enough oxygen into each part of the bronchial tree. The foramen ovalae closes within hours of birth and relies on the pulmonary circuit to take over.
amazing.
I've never been so excited about a class and thrilled at all I will learn. Yes, it will be lots of memory and organization and pulling out my hair because I can't remember all the 30+ parts of the heart we have to know. But I will have a constant reminder of the beautiful care our maker formed us with and of the awesome identity that we have in his ownership.
In other news, Casey turns 18 this weekend and is still on the hunt for the "perfect college"...she has been accepted several places and is still waiting for a lot of details to fall into place before making a choice. TJ too will be choosing a high school (???!!!) later this semester. I'm looking forward to a trip to DeKalb sometime next month and hopefully some good times with my roommates, a couple of whom are brand new.
Please pray for me as I attempt to balance time, and especially as I attempt to lead a group of wonderful people and help to encourage them to follow God's will for our campus ministry. There are so many moments that I feel so unworthy and unable to provide an ounce of wisdom or spiritual truth to those who are looking up to me. I'm only praying that God will be the one to speak strongly and that my role would be somewhat similar to the guy in ratattouli...an eager puppet in the master chef's hands.
Blessings on you all as you start a new semester....
We are back into the second week of classes here and now in full swing. The past 3 weeks of life have been mostly busses and concerts as we swung around the midwest for choir tour. We returned only for 4 days of class last week and hit the road again this weekend. Many lovely concerts and a great time with friends and family along the way. Several "long lost" cousins on my mom's side met with us unexpectedly in Missouri, Zach and Tina drove up to Topeka, Matt came to see two concerts in Madison, and Laura (who I knew I was going to get to see for a short time) surprised me by bringing Beth and Cassie along to see us in Chicago. These last three were a special joy as we got a "girls night" that has been a LONG time coming and which we somehow missed over Christmas break. We had so much fun laughing till all hours in a local IHOP and then cramming 4 people into Laura's dorm single. Much giggling, chatting, facebook stalking, and chocolate eating, reminiscent of many such events in junior high and high school. Such a joy to have such amazing friends.
Returning to campus and staring at the semester straight in the face has been a challenge. It will be a hefty one to be sure. On top of a normal class load, I am the President of Intervarsity starting this semester, and will be a TA for a large freshman bio lab. Our review sessions for my graduate entrance exam (the GRE) start this weekend, and I MUST begin working on PA school applications by late this spring. With the choir's china tour and a yet unplanned missions trip looming in the summer future, I've got quite a bit on the horizon.
However, I have been doing my best to "let things go" this past week, and have dropped out of voice lessons and turned down some research teams and a panel for a conference here on campus. Never have I hated the word, "NO" more....and never have I realized so quickly in a semester how vitally important it is.
Last week was excellent in the "New Classes" department, and though surely overwhelming I was quite blown away by the stuff I'm learning and how amazing it is. Sitting in my Anatomy and Physiology class last week a girl next to me leaned over and asked how on earth people can look at something like the heart, with it's ornate valves, perfect rhythm, complicated electricity, and (honestly) strange and globular appearance, and think "oh, I bet that basic staple of human life appeared in perfect form just by chance." I couldn't agree more. I'm more and more an advocate of the power of evolution to preserve lines of organisms in amazing circumstances, but I will never understand how a person can look at the intricacies of the body and not see the need for some sort of order or command at "the beginning". I don't pretend to understand how the genisis account meshes with the scientific "truth", but I'm pretty sure that if God wanted us to know all that he would have written it down.
At any rate (sorry for the bunny trail), anatomy fascinates me, and I have loved jumping right into the cardiovascular system, as I hear all these words on the cardiac floor at the hospital, but often don't know exactly what they mean. Did you know that the heart has a small dent in the right atrium that is called the fossa ovalis?? This little "bubble" is a remnant from the foramen ovalae--a small tube that is present only in the heart of a developing embryo. This tube acts as a bridge between the right and left atria of the heart, allowing the blood to move through the heart without passing through the pulmonary circuit (the path the blood follows to the lungs in order to be oxygenated). This is fortunate, because the lungs of an embryo are not developed fully until a few hours after the baby is born. If blood were pressured into the lungs as they were developing they would never grow properly, but without a heartbeat, the brain could not survive, and the nervous system (which is one of the first systems to begin developing) would never grow before the other systems blocked it's path. However, once the baby is born, it is vital that the lungs begin receiving blood very soon after birth, so that the lungs can fully expand and receive enough oxygen into each part of the bronchial tree. The foramen ovalae closes within hours of birth and relies on the pulmonary circuit to take over.
amazing.
I've never been so excited about a class and thrilled at all I will learn. Yes, it will be lots of memory and organization and pulling out my hair because I can't remember all the 30+ parts of the heart we have to know. But I will have a constant reminder of the beautiful care our maker formed us with and of the awesome identity that we have in his ownership.
In other news, Casey turns 18 this weekend and is still on the hunt for the "perfect college"...she has been accepted several places and is still waiting for a lot of details to fall into place before making a choice. TJ too will be choosing a high school (???!!!) later this semester. I'm looking forward to a trip to DeKalb sometime next month and hopefully some good times with my roommates, a couple of whom are brand new.
Please pray for me as I attempt to balance time, and especially as I attempt to lead a group of wonderful people and help to encourage them to follow God's will for our campus ministry. There are so many moments that I feel so unworthy and unable to provide an ounce of wisdom or spiritual truth to those who are looking up to me. I'm only praying that God will be the one to speak strongly and that my role would be somewhat similar to the guy in ratattouli...an eager puppet in the master chef's hands.
Blessings on you all as you start a new semester....
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