Umm…ok…I’m here…
Not in the middle of finals
Not trying to pull off concerts every other day
Not struggling through hours of reading
Not writing papers like it’s my job and I’m paid a million dollars a day.
Nope…none of that…zilch, nada, goose eggs. Suddenly, wonderfully, my entire schedule has changed, my personality is totally different, I spend my time in totally different ways, and I’m focused on new people and places. I’m not bipolar. It’s just that “the flip side” has become “this side.” For months I’ve been telling people… “I’m so sorry, I’ll do better at _______ once school gets over,” “I can’t think about that until _______ is over!!” and “No one needs sleep!! Ahh…I’ll get some on at the other end of the tunnel.”
Well my friends, the end of the tunnel is here…and I can’t deny it, I’m feeling the wind and the sunshine like never before. Hooray!! Praise the Lord!! Grades aren’t all in yet, but so far so good…and honestly I can’t do anything about it now so I don’t really care.
So far my break has been good…not exactly restful, but different, which feels great. After my last final on Saturday, we attended Lauren Burrises’ wedding…that was awesome, although I was caught a little off guard when I looked over during the ceremony and Mom was taking notes in the program. Notes for what? I shouldn’t have asked…can someone please tell my mom that it’s really gonna be a while?? Perhaps I should remind her that I don’t even have a boyfriend. Haha…no, it’s great to have a mom who’s prepared. No doubt she’ll be ready at the drop of a hat. I enjoyed getting to help at the reception and seeing everyone home. Sunday afternoon we had the Yurchak clan (Gaggle? Flock? Herd?) over for lunch…it’s sad that we only get to see them once every few years, but awesome how we pick up when we get back together. Katie ended up staying for a few hours longer, and she’s AMAZING. I think we have a lot in common and I enjoyed her crazy-fun personality (yay for giving each other crash courses of our year, crazy Walmart parking lot pictures, and peanut butter cookies).
This week I’ve caught up on sleep a little, been helping around the house (something I completely failed at for the last few months), and am trying to help the Bosticks out on their move. They have a beautiful new house and I’m loving moving boxes and “stuff” to all corners of it. So, now I'm off again to another day of everything but not the same everything as before. Summer is finally here!! Love you all...
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
*Dust*
We had an amazing sunday school lesson yesterday that has changed my perspective on the week in front of me. So I'm gonna write this down, so that I can remember it, and perhaps someone will benefit from the reading of it as well.
We discussed the Jewish education system more in depth than I've heard for a while. In a nutshell, all the kiddos go through a "basic" education which entails memorizing the first 5 books of the Bible by the age of 7. Those who are the cream of the crop move on to another school where they memorize the rest of the books. And the best of the best of this group move on to yet another level which studies history, phillosophy, and the interpretations or "yokes"of the great rabbis of the faith. Each rabbi (themselves the extreme elite of the educated) had a known interpretation of the scriptures and fashioned their teaching and understanding from these beliefs.
So when the best of the best of the best get out of school, they have decided which rabbi they agree with the most, and they have commited themselves to the rabbi's yoke. The final step to becoming a rabbi yourself was to go before each rabbi and answer hundreds of questions and hope to finally hear the words, "Come, follow me." This phrase of acceptance gave young men the confirmation that the rabbi thought the students could learn to be exactly like them. After this point, aspiring students would often be told "may you be covered with the dust of your rabbi"...may you follow so closely, that you will literally be stained by his steps.
We went on to draw a weird connection to the story in Matthew 14 of Peter walking on the water. Our teacher pointed out that Peter, and the other 11 men in the boat, had been called by Jesus to "come follow me." Come be just like me, you can make it, you can become not just my friend but my replica. It is this faith that causes Peter to come out of the boat and walk on the water like his rabbi. So what causes him to fall?? I've always assumed that Peter doesn't have enough faith in Jesus...but our teacher suggested that Peter was lacking faith not in Christ but in himself.
Wow...think about that for a few minutes. God has called all of us just as he called his disciples. They were common tradesmen...fishermen, tent makers, doctors. Just like them, we don't have the Bible memorized, we have not made it through ranks of Jewish teaching and history, we wouldn't know a rabbi if he met us on the street. But our great teacher has called us to come close to him, to be covered with his dust, and ultimately to become just like him. What keeps us back? What blocks our way? I realized that in my own life, I rarely believe that God can't do something...I believe that I am too weak to be used. In fact, as I thought about it, I think nine times out of ten my own insufficiencies are my greatest barrier to doing God's work. Not because I can't get around them, but because I refuse to believe that God can.
"Oh you of little faith...WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF??" (Matt 14:31)
me
myself
my foolishness
my pride
my distractions
my weakness
And out of 1 Corinthians, God hit me over the head.
"Remember dear brothers and sisters that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose the things the world considers foolish to shame those who think that they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose the things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God."
And suddenly I realize that my weakness and insufficiency is PLANNED...they aren't mistakes, they are the GOAL....so that what I accomplish here on earth is unquestionably the work of God. Does God have faith in us? Absolutely not. Then why did he leave his message here and command us to spread it? Because he had faith that we could be used as his instruments. As our teacher said, "God calls the nobodies, the B-team, the not-good-enoughs, and he calls them to be his disciples and change the course of human history."
I'm shocked again after re-thinking all this...shocked and near tears and re-inspired to give the Lord another chance to do something big. May we all commit our lives to becoming a replica of our savior...to walking so close to him that people can't even distinguish us.
Blessings on you all...and may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi...
We discussed the Jewish education system more in depth than I've heard for a while. In a nutshell, all the kiddos go through a "basic" education which entails memorizing the first 5 books of the Bible by the age of 7. Those who are the cream of the crop move on to another school where they memorize the rest of the books. And the best of the best of this group move on to yet another level which studies history, phillosophy, and the interpretations or "yokes"of the great rabbis of the faith. Each rabbi (themselves the extreme elite of the educated) had a known interpretation of the scriptures and fashioned their teaching and understanding from these beliefs.
So when the best of the best of the best get out of school, they have decided which rabbi they agree with the most, and they have commited themselves to the rabbi's yoke. The final step to becoming a rabbi yourself was to go before each rabbi and answer hundreds of questions and hope to finally hear the words, "Come, follow me." This phrase of acceptance gave young men the confirmation that the rabbi thought the students could learn to be exactly like them. After this point, aspiring students would often be told "may you be covered with the dust of your rabbi"...may you follow so closely, that you will literally be stained by his steps.
We went on to draw a weird connection to the story in Matthew 14 of Peter walking on the water. Our teacher pointed out that Peter, and the other 11 men in the boat, had been called by Jesus to "come follow me." Come be just like me, you can make it, you can become not just my friend but my replica. It is this faith that causes Peter to come out of the boat and walk on the water like his rabbi. So what causes him to fall?? I've always assumed that Peter doesn't have enough faith in Jesus...but our teacher suggested that Peter was lacking faith not in Christ but in himself.
Wow...think about that for a few minutes. God has called all of us just as he called his disciples. They were common tradesmen...fishermen, tent makers, doctors. Just like them, we don't have the Bible memorized, we have not made it through ranks of Jewish teaching and history, we wouldn't know a rabbi if he met us on the street. But our great teacher has called us to come close to him, to be covered with his dust, and ultimately to become just like him. What keeps us back? What blocks our way? I realized that in my own life, I rarely believe that God can't do something...I believe that I am too weak to be used. In fact, as I thought about it, I think nine times out of ten my own insufficiencies are my greatest barrier to doing God's work. Not because I can't get around them, but because I refuse to believe that God can.
"Oh you of little faith...WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF??" (Matt 14:31)
me
myself
my foolishness
my pride
my distractions
my weakness
And out of 1 Corinthians, God hit me over the head.
"Remember dear brothers and sisters that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose the things the world considers foolish to shame those who think that they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose the things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God."
And suddenly I realize that my weakness and insufficiency is PLANNED...they aren't mistakes, they are the GOAL....so that what I accomplish here on earth is unquestionably the work of God. Does God have faith in us? Absolutely not. Then why did he leave his message here and command us to spread it? Because he had faith that we could be used as his instruments. As our teacher said, "God calls the nobodies, the B-team, the not-good-enoughs, and he calls them to be his disciples and change the course of human history."
I'm shocked again after re-thinking all this...shocked and near tears and re-inspired to give the Lord another chance to do something big. May we all commit our lives to becoming a replica of our savior...to walking so close to him that people can't even distinguish us.
Blessings on you all...and may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi...
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