The wedding is happening...really and truly. This isn't just a fairy tale any more or a dream of what will happen "some day"...it is a fully realized event...complete with plane flights in motion as we speak and flowers being delivered and a rehearsal tomorrow afternoon.
I'm a little stressed out. I'm not stressed out by the details and the frenetic parents and friends like I thought I would be. Things are rolling pretty smoothly and despite a few normal glitches everything has gone well so far. I'm stressed that on Saturday I will witness a life change of unexplainable magnitude. I'm creeped out that I wrote a maid of honor speech for the reception last night. I'm completely in disbelief that I bought a wedding card this afternoon (it's a freakin' card...why is it such a big deal??). Somehow, it's the little things...all those moments that catch me off guard and make me realize, perhaps for the first time what is really happening. The little moments that collect and then suddenly bowl me over all at once.
I'm excited too....today I bought all the stuff for the girl's party tomorrow night...it's gonna be crazy fun. I talked to Tina today about her new mailing address and the recipients "Mr and Mrs. Zachary Vernon"...and realized just now that in 24 hours I'll be standing on a platform listening to them practice their vows. I can't wait to see her dress and hair and veil all together...to see his face when she first comes around the corner, and to watch as this massive event takes place in the presence of all their guests.
It's hard to believe, looking back, all the stuff that we have all journeyed through to reach this point. And even more unbelievable is the magnificent view that has suddenly come into view as we reach out and touch the window in front of us. We have viewed it from a distance for a long time and have seen the trees distantly through it...but tomorrow the glass will become hard against our fingers and the trees will become a thin screen, and beyond them we will see the high bluff which rushes down into the valley below and the road that stretches for miles in miniature size. And we will see the next window...the next step, somewhere in the distance...as seemingly un-attainable as the one we are now standing next to.
Its funny how all the steps that will get us there will be small and seemingly insignificant. Lord help me appreciate every one.
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