A brief review

Getting late and a paper waits...but I just finished a shorter one about 5 minutes ago, so let's call this a "reward". Pathetic perhaps, but interestingly accurate. I find nothing more soothing to the soul than a bit of journaling...for other's eyes or not.

Good day...much rain put my jeans in the "not wet but constantly soggy" category. Not as much fun as could be desired...but hey...schmedibluh. Awesome choir rehearsal (if you aren't planning on attending Vespers...start planning) and a good day of meetings and connections. Got to see Zach and Tina (and yet un-gendered papoose) for a brief little meeting of cards over blizzards and a bit of catch up. They seem to be adjusting well to their new army life, though I'm sure it will take some getting used to. Also had an IV team meeting (one of the last of this semester) and took some time to catch up with a few roomies. Yay for not being tunnel visioned with homework at least once a week or so. Not enough, but I'm working on it.

(Morning Coffee by Bill Cantos playing...out of context at the moment but awesome jazz and witty lyrics nevertheless)

This past weekend was a busy one, with IV Friday night and an IV staff exploration (aka, "any chance you want to come on full time IV staff after you graduate??") day. Said meeting was held in champaign, and Holly and I drove up together (and got quite turned around in the neighborhood of Green street and 6th avenue). The day itself was very interesting, as the thought of pondering anything but "the plan" in my future life is a bit scarier than I originally thought. However, regardless of whether I ever even seriously consider this option, it was a great time of prayer, personal reflection, and bible studies focusing on God's calling on and plan for my life. Great reminder of how often I plan because I know I should or because I want to and not because I am being attentive to the voice behind me. Indeed, I've been thinking much more about how "every plan is a tiny prayer to 'father time'" (as death cab put it...so close to entirely accurately).

I've been greatly challenged by some passages in Isaiah and the Psalms to that end lately, both at the conference and in a conversation with Dennis and Donna a few weekends ago. God is constantly reminding me to trust him lately...reminding me that as I look back on my past and ponder my future I'm not at all alone...reminding me that often the choices that I will make will not be nearly as crucial as the attitude and position of submissiveness that I must put myself in to truly walk in His way.

Hard to imagine that while He has a plan for me, His glory cannot be thwarted by my inability to chose correctly if my heart is truly in His hands. May it be so...I trust my ability to chose rightly and without ulterior motives about a negative eleventeen.

Yet He keeps encouraging...quieting...drawing...and making it quite clear that I am not the least bit in control.

"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. ....The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare."
Psalm 25

"'Woe to the obstinate children,' declares the LORD, 'to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin. These are rebellious people, deceitful children, children unwilling to listen to the LORD's instruction. They say to the seers, "See no more visions!" and to the prophets, "Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions. Leave this way, get off this path, and stop confronting us with the Holy One of Israel!"

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill." Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 30

Such amazing words...as bring joy to me like nothing else. I do not deserve such compassion, love, and care...not by a mile, not by a galaxy, not by all the soybeans in Decatur. Wow.

And speaking of Decatur...here I am again...and reward time is over.
thanks for letting me review

Paper...you've met your match